Doobie Doo
Veteran
Which one of you Coli dude's wrote this
38 Petty Reasons I Don't Approach Certain Women
Earlier in the week, I decided not to approach a lil hottie at the train station. You know why? It was raining and cool outside, like forty degrees. The bish had on low-top, pink Vans, no socks. I was appalled. She was not prepared for the weather which to me signaled that she has poor decision-making skills.
It was petty. I cop to that. So I posted it on social media. My digital cohorts asked for the other possible reasons, that were sure to be peppered with pettiness. So, I'm going to give it to you. Here's a complete, comprehensive list of, what most would consider petty, reasons NOT to approach women.
Pretty Petty (but valid) reasons not to holla at a young lady
#38 She wearing a French roll in 2015.
#37 You can see through her leggings.
#36 You can sense her checking the labels of your clothes. bytch bye. That doesn’t mean I got money. You looking at/for the wrong things.
#35 The case on her cellphone reads Princess. Bish I want a queen. Get that young-minded stuff out of here.
#34 When she answers the phone she says, El-low. Haha! Hood bytch detected.
#33 Her lashes have acquired their own zip code due to the addition of falsies or magic growth steroids.
#32 Her neck and face tattoos look like Weezy's.
#31 I can see her brightly colored bra under her shirt & not in a good, fashion-forward way.
#30 Her fake nails are an inch or longer. Shenene lives.
#29 That hoop-earring to face ratio aint right. LL Cool J ain't rapping about wanting an around-the-way girl so it's cool if the hoops aren't frisbee size anymore.
#28 Her snacks of choice include Flamin Hots© & soda-pop. I’m too old for us to not start treating that body like a temple. Get some pineapple juice & some pretzels or something.
#27 Summer shoes when it’s cold/raining outside. I need someone prepared for life, think shyt through okay?
#26 Everytime she laughs, she sticks her tongues out. What’s that? That’s not cute.
#25 Colored contacts. I stopped that once I grew up. I need you to do the same.
#24 You hear her saying she’s team light-skinned. Bish, that’s not a real thing. Grow up.
#23 You overhear her saying lieberry instead of library. Self-explanatory.
#22 You drew them eyebrows on perfectly. It's patently obvious that they're drawn on. Defeated that purpose.
#21 She has on every label known to man. In one ensemble. No, no noooooo *in my reggaetone voice* Cut that out.
#20 She plays music out the speaker on her cell phone walking down the street/on public transportation. Bishhhhh
#19 It’s cold outside but she aint got on no stockings/pantyhose. Bruh, stop tryna blend in with your downtown homies.
#18 A ring on each finger. Now, you petty
#17 Baby-hair is gelled down and properly on fleek. Stop w/them Ashanti sideburns, fam. I can’t.
#16 I work in the Expungement Unit. When she asks you, “How do I get an expunge?” You don’t until you learn how to conjugate a verb, bish.
#15 She got on that glow-in-the-dark lipstick. Aha! bytch this not the, I Can’t Stand the Rain video. You not supa dupa fly.
#14 She got Metro PCS. Now this is reaaallll petty but...
#13 She gets sloppy drunk at any outing. That’s not cool. I’m not tryna be a future caretaker. You should be poised and cute. Not out here.
#12 That bag look like it came from the dolla store. You betta learn how to shop on a budget. Look like a million bucks even if you only got $9. My shyt may not cost a lot but it looks fly, you gotta do betta.
#11 She says, Exscrews me when she's tryna excuse herself. Tf? Pronunciation means something to me.
#10 Thot dots. I’d rather see you in a rainbow bracelet than be able to play a children’s game ofConnect the Thot Dots on your face w/all them wack ass piercings.
#9 Hamburglar hair. Bright red, pink, blue, green, purple aint cute on everybody. It’s actually only a good look for about .5% of the women that choose to go that route. Don’t be a statistic.
# 8 A lacefront...bwahahahwwawhahahah! IDFWU
# 7 She wearing Rainbow, ballet shoes. The nerve. Aint no cushion. They’re dirty. Yo feet hurt. Stop playing w/me
# 6 Everything matches. Red hat, red shirt, red belt, red shoes…You bout to give me the blues.
# 5 That top does not fit. I like my girls BBW/Yea/ but not sloppily dressed and looking real uncomfortable. Put them rolls up.
# 4 That weave…aint right. Either it’s low-grade, not maintained or not put in properly. I can’t. You grown. Grow up.
# 3 He gotta eat the booty like groceries, is her ringtone…cause you kiss him after he does that & um, naw…Crest aint that powerful.
# 2 She got man hands. Baby, put some lotion on that. And if you bite them nails, fuggitaboutit. You aint gon’ be caressing me, in the midst I look down & think I'm being manhandled by Wesley Snipes.
# 1 She doesn’t say thank you when you hold the door open for her. Now that’s not petty. That’s good manners. I don’t work here bish, show appreciation for this act of kindness.
http://balancedbias.com/node/34
38 Petty Reasons I Don't Approach Certain Women
- 8 April 2015
- KayJay
Earlier in the week, I decided not to approach a lil hottie at the train station. You know why? It was raining and cool outside, like forty degrees. The bish had on low-top, pink Vans, no socks. I was appalled. She was not prepared for the weather which to me signaled that she has poor decision-making skills.
It was petty. I cop to that. So I posted it on social media. My digital cohorts asked for the other possible reasons, that were sure to be peppered with pettiness. So, I'm going to give it to you. Here's a complete, comprehensive list of, what most would consider petty, reasons NOT to approach women.
Pretty Petty (but valid) reasons not to holla at a young lady
#38 She wearing a French roll in 2015.
#37 You can see through her leggings.
#36 You can sense her checking the labels of your clothes. bytch bye. That doesn’t mean I got money. You looking at/for the wrong things.
#35 The case on her cellphone reads Princess. Bish I want a queen. Get that young-minded stuff out of here.
#34 When she answers the phone she says, El-low. Haha! Hood bytch detected.
#33 Her lashes have acquired their own zip code due to the addition of falsies or magic growth steroids.
#32 Her neck and face tattoos look like Weezy's.
#31 I can see her brightly colored bra under her shirt & not in a good, fashion-forward way.
#30 Her fake nails are an inch or longer. Shenene lives.
#29 That hoop-earring to face ratio aint right. LL Cool J ain't rapping about wanting an around-the-way girl so it's cool if the hoops aren't frisbee size anymore.
#28 Her snacks of choice include Flamin Hots© & soda-pop. I’m too old for us to not start treating that body like a temple. Get some pineapple juice & some pretzels or something.
#27 Summer shoes when it’s cold/raining outside. I need someone prepared for life, think shyt through okay?
#26 Everytime she laughs, she sticks her tongues out. What’s that? That’s not cute.
#25 Colored contacts. I stopped that once I grew up. I need you to do the same.
#24 You hear her saying she’s team light-skinned. Bish, that’s not a real thing. Grow up.
#23 You overhear her saying lieberry instead of library. Self-explanatory.
#22 You drew them eyebrows on perfectly. It's patently obvious that they're drawn on. Defeated that purpose.
#21 She has on every label known to man. In one ensemble. No, no noooooo *in my reggaetone voice* Cut that out.
#20 She plays music out the speaker on her cell phone walking down the street/on public transportation. Bishhhhh
#19 It’s cold outside but she aint got on no stockings/pantyhose. Bruh, stop tryna blend in with your downtown homies.
#18 A ring on each finger. Now, you petty
#17 Baby-hair is gelled down and properly on fleek. Stop w/them Ashanti sideburns, fam. I can’t.
#16 I work in the Expungement Unit. When she asks you, “How do I get an expunge?” You don’t until you learn how to conjugate a verb, bish.
#15 She got on that glow-in-the-dark lipstick. Aha! bytch this not the, I Can’t Stand the Rain video. You not supa dupa fly.
#14 She got Metro PCS. Now this is reaaallll petty but...
#13 She gets sloppy drunk at any outing. That’s not cool. I’m not tryna be a future caretaker. You should be poised and cute. Not out here.
#12 That bag look like it came from the dolla store. You betta learn how to shop on a budget. Look like a million bucks even if you only got $9. My shyt may not cost a lot but it looks fly, you gotta do betta.
#11 She says, Exscrews me when she's tryna excuse herself. Tf? Pronunciation means something to me.
#10 Thot dots. I’d rather see you in a rainbow bracelet than be able to play a children’s game ofConnect the Thot Dots on your face w/all them wack ass piercings.
#9 Hamburglar hair. Bright red, pink, blue, green, purple aint cute on everybody. It’s actually only a good look for about .5% of the women that choose to go that route. Don’t be a statistic.
# 8 A lacefront...bwahahahwwawhahahah! IDFWU
# 7 She wearing Rainbow, ballet shoes. The nerve. Aint no cushion. They’re dirty. Yo feet hurt. Stop playing w/me
# 6 Everything matches. Red hat, red shirt, red belt, red shoes…You bout to give me the blues.
# 5 That top does not fit. I like my girls BBW/Yea/ but not sloppily dressed and looking real uncomfortable. Put them rolls up.
# 4 That weave…aint right. Either it’s low-grade, not maintained or not put in properly. I can’t. You grown. Grow up.
# 3 He gotta eat the booty like groceries, is her ringtone…cause you kiss him after he does that & um, naw…Crest aint that powerful.
# 2 She got man hands. Baby, put some lotion on that. And if you bite them nails, fuggitaboutit. You aint gon’ be caressing me, in the midst I look down & think I'm being manhandled by Wesley Snipes.
# 1 She doesn’t say thank you when you hold the door open for her. Now that’s not petty. That’s good manners. I don’t work here bish, show appreciation for this act of kindness.
http://balancedbias.com/node/34
dude got some good points but he is super fukking petty lmao!
