Are you the new plug for the trap house?
No but everyone here has a plug.
I'll ask the only question people care about, have you fukked any girls yet?
Second night. Met her on my first. One of the few that can speak English.
She’s basically my girlfriend now though.
Have you stumbled upon the hood portion?
What is the food like?
Are you proficient in Spanish? If not, how is it affecting the trip?
Females (square and professional

)
Hood - yes but middle of the day.
I do not speak a single word of Spanish. If not for rolling with better Spanish speakers from the hostel I’m staying at - I would have massive problems. The drawback is my interactions with Colombians are minimal. Locals on the metro that speak English are likely to strike up a conversation but that’s it. Best conversations I have are with kids (pause) who have the time to struggle with me directly. Therefore most of my interactions have a mediator.
Food - everything is fried. Literally everything. It’s aight if you like that. Colomboan dishes in the city are mad cheap and ok. More expensive foreign food can be excellent or awful.
It’s not Paris with the food.
Girls - wild friendly in the club. They’ll give you one whine at a minimum even if they don’t like you. And everyone here dances in the club (crazy right?). Again most girls will sit through some google translate banter (no seriously) for awhile. Only one I’ve smashed and really spoke to speaks English.