Advice/closure needed on woman carrying my child...

murksiderock

murksiderock

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Yall know I have no problem admitting this board can be therapeutic for me, I'm human and I have human emotions...

What would be the reasons a woman pregnant with your child would all of a sudden stop talking to you and go off the grid? Obviously there are some that are jumping to mind but I want to keep an open mind about who I am in this role, too...

I've explained part of my situation before, don't mind giving more details as necessary. It's really fukking with me though, didn’t really start until the week i got covid (April 22) and has gotten progressively worse since. The covid occurrence may just be coincidence so not sure if this is a pride and ego thing on my part, but there are other trends that there's some shyt going on. For the record she's still going to work (I know someone who works with her) and is otherwise okay, but the emotional thing of having a child with someone, and committing myself to trying to make something work and being rebuffed in this fashion is working me...

Also before the question comes in, if there wasn't a baby involved we wouldn't have even made it this far, emotionally finding out she was pregnant changed everything. And I've never quite been treated like this, part of me is accepting it as karma for being a scumbag in previous relationships, its still a tough pill to swallow, though...

Appreciate any and all contributions!
 
brandy

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murksiderock said:
Yall know I have no problem admitting this board can be therapeutic for me, I'm human and I have human emotions...

What would be the reasons a woman pregnant with your child would all of a sudden stop talking to you and go off the grid? Obviously there are some that are jumping to mind but I want to keep an open mind about who I am in this role, too...

I've explained part of my situation before, don't mind giving more details as necessary. It's really fukking with me though, didn’t really start until the week i got covid (April 22) and has gotten progressively worse since. The covid occurrence may just be coincidence so not sure if this is a pride and ego thing on my part, but there are other trends that there's some shyt going on. For the record she's still going to work (I know someone who works with her) and is otherwise okay, but the emotional thing of having a child with someone, and committing myself to trying to make something work and being rebuffed in this fashion is working me...

Also before the question comes in, if there wasn't a baby involved we wouldn't have even made it this far, emotionally finding out she was pregnant changed everything. And I've never quite been treated like this, part of me is accepting it as karma for being a scumbag in previous relationships, its still a tough pill to swallow, though...

Appreciate any and all contributions!
Click to expand...

Ask her.
 
Kane1

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It's 2021 and fools are still knocking up chicks WITHOUT being married and really knowing the person:francis:


Niccas never learn.....you don't messed your whole life up breh:hhh:


You better pray she gets rid of that baby and you better WAKE THE HELL UP!! :ufdup:
 
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As a female who has never been pregnant, I can only guess. Personally, one of the biggest Ls I could possibly take is to bring a life into the world with a man who doesn’t love me or hasn’t demonstrated that love for me or does not want to be a family with me. The idea of some women going thru a process as scary as pregnancy is by themselves or having nobody with them to hold their hands and support them as their committed lovers and partners during this extremely vulnerable period would be enough to drive me insane. That’s part of the reason why I would never have a baby outside of the parameters of marriage. And why I don’t really follow up dikk
babble men use to try and pressure me into fukking if it’s not precisely what I want.:yeshrug:

These issues may be weighing heavily on her. Uncertainty in the bond with the father of her offspring is the worse thing a woman can have during this state of vulnerability. That’s also why I don’t like abortion, however I don’t judge either. You never know how you are going to feel about the entire process until you are in it. We trivialize childbirth but the rigors of it on your mental state and body and the sheer weight of it are lifechanging.

Not to mention fears over motherhood and finances. Does she have a counselor? A good support system? Are you guys married? How’s her mental health? Is she financially stable? Have the two of you developed a plan for child care after the baby is born? My mom told me childcare can be very expensive? How’s her health? What types of doctors does she have? Are they white? Black women experience death in childbirth exponentially more than other races of women in America due to racist practices.

These might be a few issues she is dealing with on top of the natural flood of hormones, discomfort she may or may not be experiencing.
:yeshrug: I wish her well.
Also take measures to ensure you aren’t taking on this stress without cause and try not to internalize this if you know you are doing your part.
 
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