i need to know if i'm overreacting, or if i'm justified in getting in my feels.
let me set the scene for y'all. (names have not been changed to protect the innocent...f all that)
it's monday morning, colddenabytch up here in NorCal. i stroll into work, put my jacket in my locker, searched the adjacent coat rack for my lab coat--which should have been hung on a hanger with my name on it. i found my coat and all of a sudden, i was mule kicked in the face with some putrid funk. i looked around but i was the only person standing at the rack. i'm in the hall looking like a damn fool sniffing myself, but i knew it couldn't be me because i showered, put on deodorant and had on newly wash 'n dried scrubs. i figured someone with wild B.O. left their coat on the rack next to mine, so i proceeded to the lab and started up my cpu.
as i'm sitting there waiting on my slow ass computer to start up, this funk circled back around and stole off on me in the chest. it hit me so hard, it made my shoulders do the nolia clap. now i'm mad, because i thought i left the smell in the hallway, but it was like the smell followed me and was haunting me at my desk.
20 minutes in and i haven't started on any work because i was too busy trying to figure out that smell and why was i sharing my work space with it. i'm f**king around getting my forensic files on. the funk had me investigating the surrounding air particles, doing swab tests. i was able to deduce that the smell was very similar to that one emitted from a co-worker, olga the russian. i just couldn't figure out why her foul ass would lay across my desk and rub all of my work s**t on her person. the smell wouldn't go away. it still felt like the funk was blanketing me like i was the one responsible for it, but i knew it couldn't be me....hell, i past the smell test. just then i remembered, the smell wasn't on my cloths. i didn't smell it until i picked out my lab coat. just then, i sniffed the lab coat i was wearing, and sure 'nuff, it was the damn coat.
i ran back out to the coat rack in the hall, balled the lab coat up and chunked that b***h in the soiled hamper. i found me an unused lab coat with no name on the hanger. i'm thinking to myself why and how could this chic not see my name on the tag attached to the hanger. i looked down the rack and noticed her hanger with her lab coat still on it. i check the size and she wears a medium and i wear a large, and my damn name can't be confused with olga. how could she have f**k that up.......unless she did this on purpose?
by this time i'm convinced she wore my coat and put it back on the hanger, but i wanted to do my due diligence before i got at her about it. all of this mess is going through my head. was she sending me a message, is this common practice for russians to stank and share their stank with others? i know it was her and i needed to know why, so on my lunch break i R&R'd...researched and reflected. i hit the interwebs and did my googles. i searched for weird rituals done by russians in the work place. i wondered if this was her way of trying to throw that wolf p***y at me. did she leave her musk on me to ward off all other heffas? did this stunt mean we were now going steady?
when i got back to the lab, i felt like she was going to have to answer for her shenanigans. i walked right up to her.
me: olga, did you work this saturday?
olga: no, no one worked this weekend.
me: did you work this past friday?
olga: yes, but i left early in the day....why do you ask?
now i'm feeling like this chic knows why i'm over there asking her questions. she knows i don't f**k with her like that. i need you to woman up and say you stank up my coat, comrade. i was at the point, i didn't care if them folks were going to label me the angry black guy, i needed to set ol' girl straight. i knew everyone in the lab was listening to the conversation, but i didn't care. i just needed to be tactful on how i conveyed to her that i knew she wore my s**t and put it back on the hanger. that mess wasn't cool. i was about to go in.
olga: ...why do you ask?
me: uh...i was just wondering if you got those product labels i printed out last week?
then i went back to my damn desk.
let me set the scene for y'all. (names have not been changed to protect the innocent...f all that)
it's monday morning, colddenabytch up here in NorCal. i stroll into work, put my jacket in my locker, searched the adjacent coat rack for my lab coat--which should have been hung on a hanger with my name on it. i found my coat and all of a sudden, i was mule kicked in the face with some putrid funk. i looked around but i was the only person standing at the rack. i'm in the hall looking like a damn fool sniffing myself, but i knew it couldn't be me because i showered, put on deodorant and had on newly wash 'n dried scrubs. i figured someone with wild B.O. left their coat on the rack next to mine, so i proceeded to the lab and started up my cpu.
as i'm sitting there waiting on my slow ass computer to start up, this funk circled back around and stole off on me in the chest. it hit me so hard, it made my shoulders do the nolia clap. now i'm mad, because i thought i left the smell in the hallway, but it was like the smell followed me and was haunting me at my desk.
20 minutes in and i haven't started on any work because i was too busy trying to figure out that smell and why was i sharing my work space with it. i'm f**king around getting my forensic files on. the funk had me investigating the surrounding air particles, doing swab tests. i was able to deduce that the smell was very similar to that one emitted from a co-worker, olga the russian. i just couldn't figure out why her foul ass would lay across my desk and rub all of my work s**t on her person. the smell wouldn't go away. it still felt like the funk was blanketing me like i was the one responsible for it, but i knew it couldn't be me....hell, i past the smell test. just then i remembered, the smell wasn't on my cloths. i didn't smell it until i picked out my lab coat. just then, i sniffed the lab coat i was wearing, and sure 'nuff, it was the damn coat.
i ran back out to the coat rack in the hall, balled the lab coat up and chunked that b***h in the soiled hamper. i found me an unused lab coat with no name on the hanger. i'm thinking to myself why and how could this chic not see my name on the tag attached to the hanger. i looked down the rack and noticed her hanger with her lab coat still on it. i check the size and she wears a medium and i wear a large, and my damn name can't be confused with olga. how could she have f**k that up.......unless she did this on purpose?
by this time i'm convinced she wore my coat and put it back on the hanger, but i wanted to do my due diligence before i got at her about it. all of this mess is going through my head. was she sending me a message, is this common practice for russians to stank and share their stank with others? i know it was her and i needed to know why, so on my lunch break i R&R'd...researched and reflected. i hit the interwebs and did my googles. i searched for weird rituals done by russians in the work place. i wondered if this was her way of trying to throw that wolf p***y at me. did she leave her musk on me to ward off all other heffas? did this stunt mean we were now going steady?
when i got back to the lab, i felt like she was going to have to answer for her shenanigans. i walked right up to her.
me: olga, did you work this saturday?
olga: no, no one worked this weekend.
me: did you work this past friday?
olga: yes, but i left early in the day....why do you ask?
now i'm feeling like this chic knows why i'm over there asking her questions. she knows i don't f**k with her like that. i need you to woman up and say you stank up my coat, comrade. i was at the point, i didn't care if them folks were going to label me the angry black guy, i needed to set ol' girl straight. i knew everyone in the lab was listening to the conversation, but i didn't care. i just needed to be tactful on how i conveyed to her that i knew she wore my s**t and put it back on the hanger. that mess wasn't cool. i was about to go in.
olga: ...why do you ask?
me: uh...i was just wondering if you got those product labels i printed out last week?
then i went back to my damn desk.
