CNN)Iman's ex-fiancé first referenced social media influencer Andrew Tate in their relationship in October. Three months later, she says, it was all over.
Her former partner, who is in his early 30s, became "very controlling," she says, after he started listening to Tate's podcast, promoting patriarchal gender roles. He told her he wanted to have a polygamous relationship -- something she says the two had never discussed.
"It was complete hell," the 29-year-old former insurance broker told CNN. CNN agreed not to report the full names of the women in this piece due to concerns about their privacy.
The Muslim couple had met at the end of 2020 and fell in love over their shared interest in travel, Iman said. They got engaged last year and Iman left her life in Britain to join her ex-fiancé in Dubai, where he'd found work. They set a wedding date for February.
But she says his controlling behavior escalated until he became "a completely different person."
"I noticed myself becoming very, very passive and trying to avoid confrontation at any cost," she said. "He started becoming very verbally abusive, insulting me or belittling me."
Serena, a 25-year-old journalist and marketer from a Muslim family in Britain, says her two brothers, aged 21 and 23, started parroting Tate's "extremely misogynistic" views in September, after watching videos of him on YouTube.
"This made me upset and quite distressed as my brother is my best friend and I felt I was losing him and didn't recognize him anymore," she told CNN of her 23-year-old sibling.
"He has turned extremely misogynistic, telling myself and my mum that our duty is to cook and if my mum doesn't cook one day he calls her lazy," Serena said via online messages. "I was telling him he was being manipulated and essentially groomed by Andrew Tate, in which he would respond that I don't have an opinion and I should stop talking."
Iman and Serena's experience reflects a growing chorus of Muslim women online who say Tate -- a British-American kickboxer turned-social media influencer -- is indoctrinating Muslim men and boys with sexist rhetoric, while promoting a distorted version of Islam to justify his self-proclaimed misogyny and obsession with male dominance. He claimed to have converted to the religion in October.
Misogynistic influencers are trending right now. Defusing their message is a complex task
Iman says Tate's adoption of Islam makes her "very, very angry," adding: "I find it's very common in Muslim communities in general to use religion for their patriarchal, misogynistic agenda when actually it's not even what Islam says."
She and her ex-fiance broke up in January, after Iman says she found evidence he had cheated on her the previous month. Despite his determined efforts to dissuade her, she says, she found the strength to leave him and return to the UK.
Gross misrepresentation’ of the faith
Ayo Khalil, 26, is an NHS doctor and community worker who is trying to bridge the gap between Tate’s fans and those who are openly critical of his platform.
Khalil believes Tate’s rhetoric is creating “a gross misrepresentation” of Islam, because he “speaks brazenly about violence towards women” while his fans have “idolized him as a model Muslim male.”
“I feel like Muslims have become very obsessed with … public figures representing Islam, regardless of what they’ve said and done,” he told CNN. “It’s such a damaging and uncritical approach.”
Khalil says he converted to Islam and “fell in love” with the faith, because “social justice and spirituality, discipline and submission were embedded in it.”
Khalil ran an online workshop in January in order to start a critical dialogue about Andrew Tate, sexual violence and Muslim masculinity, after seeing the “dismissive way” members of his community addressed Tate’s popularity.
“I have seen in real time what … sexual violence and sexual abuse and other types of abuse can do to an individual,” he said. “Men in this case have to take individual responsibility to really push back against … the way other men behave towards women.”
He believes that more imams, community leaders and teachers need to speak out against Tate and help young Muslim men re-evaluate how masculinity is defined within the parameters of the faith, including “being in touch with your emotions, showing kindness.”
“Being moderate, this is what makes a man. Not going online, showing watches, boasting, smoking cigars and saying sensationalist things for views,” he said.
“If you’re a Muslim, it’s not the example you should be following. Who do you worship? Is it God, or is it Andrew Tate? We have to ask these questions.”
Serena, whose two brothers have embraced Tate’s words on women, would welcome such messaging.
“I am still stumped at how young Muslim men follow his views and endorse him … it’s disgusting,” she said.
This cat is about to mess around and become more popular after this bs case.
bytch, islam was sexist before andrew tate even existed.
Tate made me dog out women!!!!
