SINCE THIS IS FRIDAY THE 13TH, I WILL TELL YALL AN OLD HORROR STORY...
ONE DAY MANY YEARS AGO, LEGEND HAS IT, SHAWN AND I WERE ON A RED EYE FLIGHT FROM LA TO ATLANTA..AND SOME LOUD AZZ COLLEGE KIDS(PROBABLY A LOT LIKE THAT CRAIG PUNK) CAME ON THE FLIGHT RAISING HELL..(OK, JUST GONNA SAY THIS NOW, GONNA ALTER THIS STORY JUST A LITTLE TO SHORTEN IT, AS IT'S ALREADY TOO LONG...IN MY BOOK, IF I EVER FINISH IT, YOU'LL GET THE FULL AND TRUE STORY..NOT THAT THIS ISNT TRUE..IT IS! UNLESS YOU LOKING FOR LEGAL ACTIONS AGAINST)..OK SO, THESE KIDS WERE DRUNK, LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS .. AND EVERYONE WAS MAD AT THEM CAUSE WE ALL WANTED TO SLEEP THE 5 HOUR NIGHT FLIGHT AWAY(NOT JUST THE WRESTLERS, BUT EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANE TOO)..BUT THEY WASNT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN..NOT BY CHOICE!..WORD IN THE STREETS IS, SHAWN AND I HAD WHAT THEY CALL GHB..NOW MIND YOU, BACK IN THE DAY IT WAS LEGAL..IN FACT, IF WE HAD IT, WE BOUGHT IT AT A GOLDS GYM(THEY SOLD IT FOR REAL)
SO, BEING THE OUT OF CHARACTER. THE ""PARTYING ROCKERS" THAT WE WERE ACCUSED OF BEING, WE WENT TO PLAY WITH THEM..INTRODUCED THEM TO THE GHB, WHICH I MUST SAY, THEY ALL TOOK WILLINGLY, COMMENTING THEY WERE FROM A BADD ASS FRATERNITY, THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULDNT DO..WELL, 20 MINUTES AFTER TAKING IT(MAYBE WE GAVE THEM MORE THAN SHOULD HAVE FOR ROOKIES) ALL THREE PASSED OUT(2 GUYS ONE VERY PRETTY GIRL..WELL, PRETTY WHEN SHE CAME ON THE PLANE)
AGAIN, I'M SHORTENING THIS WAAY UP..A LOT OF THE FUNNIEST SHIZNIT HAPPENED IS BEING CUT OUT..TO GET TO THE HORROR STUFF...ITS FRIDAY THE 13TH, REMEMBER? SO ANYWAY, LOUD COCKY ASS RICH COLLEGE KID PUKES SHOULDNT MESS WITH THE BEST!(NOT ME, I AINT shyt, BUT THE REST OF THE TEAM..DAMN, YOU DONT WANT NONE, TRUST THAT!) ALL OVER THE PLANE YOU COULD HEAR A BZZZZZZZ SOUND...AND SHORTLY AFTER HEARING THAT BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SOUND, THESE 3 COLLEGE KIDS..WERE BALD...
WELL, NOT EXACTLY..ONE HAD PASSED OUT ACROSS THE 3 SEAT ROW WITH HIS HEAD LAYING ON HIS ARMS FACE DOWN..HE WAS BALD EXCEPT FOR WHERE HIS ARMS WERE BLOCKING THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD..FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO REMEMBER, IT LOOKED LIKE A REVERESED BORIS ZUKOFF HAIR STYLE..AND THE OTHER GUY, HAD WENT TO THE SHIZZITTER AND PASSED OUT ON THE TOILET..BUT, HE ACTUALLY DIDNT MAKE THE POOPPER IN TIME, HIS PANTS WERE DOWN AND POOP WAS ALL IN HIS UNDERWEAR(YES, HE WAS SO F'ED UP HE COULDNT EVEN SHUT THE DOOR FIRST) WELL, SO WAS HAIR..""SOMEONE"" HAD WENT BACK THERE AND GAVE HIM A REVERSE ROAD WARRIOR HAIR CUT..ONE BIG STRIPE RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF HIS HEAD...
AND, THE PRETTY GIRL?? WELL, DO YALL REMEMBER SINEAD OCONNER??? YEP, PRETTY MUCH WENT FROM BRITTNEY SPEARS COMING ON THE PLANE TO SINEAD OCONNER LEAVING THE PLANE..AND IN HAND CUFFS..YEP, ALL 3 OF THEM WERE ARRESTED WHEN WE LANDED DUE TO THE THROW UP, CUT HAIR AND shyt THEY PUT ALL OVER THE PLANE WHICH EVIDENTLY IS A HUGE OFFENSE WITH THE FFA..YEP THEY LEFT BALD AND IN HAND CUFFS THANX TO THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE!! HE SEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE HAPPENINGS BUT WHEN WOKE UP BECAUSE THE STEWARDESS WERE GOING CRAZY AT WHAT THEY FOUND ALL OVER THE PLANE, RANDY SAID(IN THAT GREAT VOICE OF HIS) "UH HUH, YEAH, WELL, I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE(HE WAS IN FIRST CLASS) BUT I KNOW THOSE KIDS CAME ON THE PLANE DRUNK, AND YALL SERVED THEM MORE ALCOHOL!!, WONDER IF THAT LEGAL??"..THANK YOU RANDY, YOU SAVED OUR ASSES THAT NIGHT!!.... IF THERE IS A MORAL TO THIS STORY..YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS??? OH AND FOR ANYONE WANTING TO SEND ANY LEGAL ACTIONS..BESIDES THE FACT IT HAPPENED IN 1990..THIS MAY BE A FICTICIOUS STORY!
PS...THE BZZZZZ SOUND, WAS OBVIOUSLY SOME SHEERS THAT THE INTIMATE WARRIOR(YES INTIMATE) HAD..IN FACT AFTER HIS LAST VICTIM, HE THREW THE SHEERS IN MY LAP, LAUGHING HIS AZZ OFF AS HE WALKED BACK TO HIS FIRST CLASS SEAT..LUCKILY FOR ME, AS I SAW THE STEWARDESS HEADING MY DIRECTION, I HAD A SHARPEE AND WROTE ~STEVE LOMARDI~ ON THE SHEERS..HE WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME(BROOKLYN BRAWLER)..BUT SO, AS SAID..MACHO MAN SAVED US ALL!
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and don't ever try to write a book Marty, all caps and shyt.......
