Originally Posted by Mr Buttjuice
oldie but goodie
AJ: Alright everybody thid dude right here has just released his 3rd album "C Hollywood Stories" and has stop by to chat with us. Give it up for Canibus ya'll!
*the dead silent audience gives confused looks to each other. Free and AJ wave their arms to get the people to applaud.*
*Canibus walks out with a calculus textbook under his arm*
Canibus:Whaddup Whaddup! *shakes AJ's hand.Hugs Free and immediately develops a woody*
You smell good girl. Can I get a taste of that chocolate?
FREE: Boy, get off me! *Canibus chuckles*
No, seriously. Don't touch me. *they sit down*
A.J: So what's been going on Canibus?
Canibus: I been buildin, yo. Explorin the vortices of my brain, so I can sustain a homosapian mindframe. *Free gives a "***** please" look*
Cause the man who sleeps on the floor can never fall out of bed, knahmean?
AJ: Yeah. So you been busy promoting the album?
Canibus: Nah. I ain't promotin nothin. Don't have to. The hip hop community knows when a hot album is in stores, and I'm as hot as it gets and evrybody knows that.
Free: Well according to our sources, your album has currently sold 345 copies.
*when Free says "sources" she spits on Canibus' chin, who then happily licks it off*
Canibus: LL can lick my scrotum.
A.J: Huh? Excuse me?
Canibus: I'm the greatest scientificly inclined mind since Einstein. I'll ingest Eminem like a melon rine.
Free: You see, that's the problem some people have with you. You always wann battle somebody. Out of the blue you just start beef
*Canibus sees Free's nipples protruding thru her blouse and puts the calculus book between his legs*
Canibus: Yo! Umm. ummm. Lil Romeo is a ******. That lil dude wanna piece of me? I'm the illest! Ya teef is yellow!
Free: See! That wasn't even called for! He's a little boy!
*the audience starts booing and throwing cookies at Canibus*
AJ: Canibus, what's wrong with you man? Hip hop music is more than about battling.
Canibus: Yo, this is what I do, yo. Nobody can touch me. I'm unfukwitable.
*Free bends over to pick up a cookie and exposes 92.3% of her left breast. Canibus sees this and flips out even more, loosing his mind with each sexual thought that enters his mind*
Canibus: uff uff ooweeee. Yo! Yo! umff! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE! I NEED PUZZY!! NOW!!!! I ain't had none in 3 years! I'M ANGRY! Why don't ya'll hoes love me? I'm the Canibus man! I was the illest on them mix tapes in 98! *starts sobbing* Why have you forsaken me? Whhh-whyyy? I see so many titties! I just wanna touch one. ONE! AAAAAAAAGHGH!
A.J.: Wow. LL really did destroy you didn't he? You are officialy the biggest dissappointment in music history.
Canibus: (with snot-sickles hanging from his nostrilS) YOU GO TO HELL! I'm the Canibus Man!
*makes the Superman intro sound and pounces on A.J.*
Free: God almighy...
*Canibus,with tears in his eyes, wraps his legs around AJ's torso and squeezes AJ's neck and bites his dreadlocks. A.J. just laughs, unharmed by the 114 lb. mad-man. Security stands at the edge of the stage, but don't bother interfering. They throw cookies at Canibus and A.J.*
FreeK! Knock it off already1
Canibus: I GOT TO HAVE YOU! I GOT TO HAVE THEM THIGHS!!!!!! I WANT THOSE BREASTESES!
*he pulls down his Hershey Park underwear and jumps on Free's back. Security then grabs Canibus and tosses him out of the studio onto the street*
Canibus: Oh well. My day will come soon. Time to go to work.
*puts on his KRISPY Kream hat and rides off on his Nipsey Russell autograph skateboard*
