any brehs not family oriented here?

[Dont@Me]

most girls i date that want kids are "family-oriented".....ie. spending lots of time with their family, you know healthy normal human-being type shyt i guess?
I don't have any family in my vicinity and we are spread across the country. I can be very sociable, but on my own time, i definitely prefer to be around just myself. I don't want kids/family or any of that nonsense because i know it isn't for me.
I don't know many people that have this mentality and every time i hear a chick say the words, "family-oriented", i feel like bummed.
are there any yall like me at all?

 

[MidniteJay]

Sounds like me except the trying to date part. A while back I kind of convinced myself I don't have a female counterpart

 

[Cornershooter]

My heart is family oriented but my brain isn’t.

Deep down I want a family but I haven’t had a lot of positive examples so I think about the cons way more then the pros.my brain goes straight to worst case scenario thus making me not family oriented but I’m scared of settling down with the wrong woman .

I do want children and think life without them would be silly. What the fukk else their to do ? That’s a genuine question I’m single and Childless in my early twenties and it’s cool now but do I want to be single and childless in my 50s talking to divorced women with children or trying to creep on women in their twenties. I don’t think I want to do either . Sipping coconuts on the beach at 50 isn’t going to be as pleasant as these forever single men and women make it seem.

Imagine thinking tequila on a cruise at 50 is more enjoyable then watching children walk for the first thing. They lie to themselves and be like at least I don’t have crying babies and more money . More money for what ? shyt you don’t need . It’s dumb and cope

I no longer see relationships as forever thing in 2022 but mid to late thirties after I’m more established I plan to bite the bullet and give it a fair 100% effort and try with a woman and hopefully it works out . But forever seems to be a thing of the past

And I not wanting children limits your options like 95% because pretty much everyone wants children what mentally normal woman your going to meet that don’t want children and marriage at some point . That a broken woman in my mind and I’m not even willing to argue that belief because I believe it so strongly Even hoes want children and marriage at some point .

And if you look at the childfree subreddit you see sad stories of people’s partners just changing their mind last minute and leaving. Imagine you with someone for 15 years they line I don’t want kids either . Dedicated your life to them and year 15 I changed my mind and they leave and have a baby with someone else in under a year.

 

[rbksNgirbauds]

My heart is family oriented but my brain isn’t.

Deep down I want a family but I haven’t had a lot of positive examples so I think about the cons way more then the pros.my brain goes straight to worst case scenario thus making me not family oriented but I’m scared of settling down with the wrong woman .

I do want children and think life without them would be silly. What the fukk else their to do ? That’s a genuine question I’m single and Childless in my early twenties and it’s cool now but do I want to be single and childless in my 50s talking to divorced women with children or trying to creep on women in their twenties. I don’t think I want to do either . Sipping coconuts on the beach at 50 isn’t going to be as pleasant as these forever single men and women make it seem.

Imagine thinking tequila on a cruise at 50 is more enjoyable then watching children walk for the first thing. They lie to themselves and be like at least I don’t have crying babies and more money . More money for what ? shyt you don’t need . It’s dumb and cope

I no longer see relationships as forever thing in 2022 but mid to late thirties after I’m more established I plan to bite the bullet and give it a fair 100% effort and try with a woman and hopefully it works out . But forever seems to be a thing of the past

And I not wanting children limits your options like 95% because pretty much everyone wants children what mentally normal woman your going to meet that don’t want children and marriage at some point . That a broken woman in my mind and I’m not even willing to argue that belief because I believe it so strongly Even hoes want children and marriage at some point .

And if you look at the childfree subreddit you see sad stories of people’s partners just changing their mind last minute and leaving. Imagine you with someone for 15 years they line I don’t want kids either . Dedicated your life to them and year 15 I changed my mind and they leave and have a baby with someone else in under a year.

That pretty much sums it up. Makes you wish things were as simple on that front as it were for generations before.... this shyt a land mine out here now tho

 

[Dont@Me]

My heart is family oriented but my brain isn’t.

Deep down I want a family but I haven’t had a lot of positive examples so I think about the cons way more then the pros.my brain goes straight to worst case scenario thus making me not family oriented but I’m scared of settling down with the wrong woman .

I do want children and think life without them would be silly. What the fukk else their to do ? That’s a genuine question I’m single and Childless in my early twenties and it’s cool now but do I want to be single and childless in my 50s talking to divorced women with children or trying to creep on women in their twenties. I don’t think I want to do either . Sipping coconuts on the beach at 50 isn’t going to be as pleasant as these forever single men and women make it seem.

Imagine thinking tequila on a cruise at 50 is more enjoyable then watching children walk for the first thing. They lie to themselves and be like at least I don’t have crying babies and more money . More money for what ? shyt you don’t need . It’s dumb and cope

I no longer see relationships as forever thing in 2022 but mid to late thirties after I’m more established I plan to bite the bullet and give it a fair 100% effort and try with a woman and hopefully it works out . But forever seems to be a thing of the past

And I not wanting children limits your options like 95% because pretty much everyone wants children what mentally normal woman your going to meet that don’t want children and marriage at some point . That a broken woman in my mind and I’m not even willing to argue that belief because I believe it so strongly Even hoes want children and marriage at some point .

And if you look at the childfree subreddit you see sad stories of people’s partners just changing their mind last minute and leaving. Imagine you with someone for 15 years they line I don’t want kids either . Dedicated your life to them and year 15 I changed my mind and they leave and have a baby with someone else in under a year.

i feel you, but i hate that cruise example you gave. It's like yall have this ridiculous "ideal live it up!" type of life framed for people who don't want kids in their older age, but the reality is a lot of people actually have hobbies and interests to keep them busy....not some silly picture perfect expectation.
i do realize my mind thinks of the worst case scenario and i am fear based when it comes to marriage/kids as well, which is why i don't want them. I could use therapy for that, but i don't even want to change that though....so why should i?

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

most girls i date that want kids are "family-oriented".....ie. spending lots of time with their family, you know healthy normal human-being type shyt i guess?
I don't have any family in my vicinity and we are spread across the country. I can be very sociable, but on my own time, i definitely prefer to be around just myself. I don't want kids/family or any of that nonsense because i know it isn't for me.
I don't know many people that have this mentality and every time i hear a chick say the words, "family-oriented", i feel like bummed.
are there any yall like me at all?

Yes

Chances are I would want very little to do with their family

If they have a big family and traditions like going to the same restaurant every other friday night or some shyt I'm out. No chance

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

I’ll be family oriented in terms of spending a lot of time with my wife and kids, but as far as spending a lot of time with my parents, or her family, it’s not happening. They are too toxic, and cause me too much anxiety.

 

[maxamusa]

OP happy you posted this; the people who are family orientated like that usually grew up with no dysfunction. God bless them. I don't hate because low-key I'm envious. It puts people like us in a tight spot when we have kids tho

 

[datnigDASTARDLY]

I'm just glad you didn't say "orientated" OP...so glad

 

[Wildhundreds]

OP happy you posted this; the people who are family orientated like that usually grew up with no dysfunction. God bless them. I don't hate because low-key I'm envious. It puts people like us in a tight spot when we have kids tho

Family oriented doesn't even mean you have to have kids. That just means you like being around a family setting. Doesn't even have to be yours. If a girl like you and thought enough about you to invite you around her family, would you go?

 

[Thelonious Napz]

Outside my mom, sister and step pops not really tbh. I hate to say that cause truly love all my fam. Might sound messed but I just don't have the energy to keep up with everybody and maintain relationships.

But to answer your question. Yes, I guess I am one of those dudes lol.

 

[maxamusa]

Family oriented doesn't even mean you have to have kids. That just means you like being around a family setting. Doesn't even have to be yours. If a girl like you and thought enough about you to invite you around her family, would you go?

No doubt; but the context of why I mentioned the kids part is because it creates a dilemma.
Let's say I'm not family orientated on my side. I have a kid. I then have to chose if I will become more family orientated for the child's sake so he or she gets to spend that time and grow a bond....etc....feel me?

And to answer your question of course I would go. I'm a social person. I made the assumption that OP's defention of family orientated was about YOUR immediate/non imediate family exclusively.

 

[Dont@Me]

My heart is family oriented but my brain isn’t.

Deep down I want a family but I haven’t had a lot of positive examples so I think about the cons way more then the pros.my brain goes straight to worst case scenario thus making me not family oriented but I’m scared of settling down with the wrong woman .

I do want children and think life without them would be silly. What the fukk else their to do ? That’s a genuine question I’m single and Childless in my early twenties and it’s cool now but do I want to be single and childless in my 50s talking to divorced women with children or trying to creep on women in their twenties. I don’t think I want to do either . Sipping coconuts on the beach at 50 isn’t going to be as pleasant as these forever single men and women make it seem.

Imagine thinking tequila on a cruise at 50 is more enjoyable then watching children walk for the first thing. They lie to themselves and be like at least I don’t have crying babies and more money . More money for what ? shyt you don’t need . It’s dumb and cope

I no longer see relationships as forever thing in 2022 but mid to late thirties after I’m more established I plan to bite the bullet and give it a fair 100% effort and try with a woman and hopefully it works out . But forever seems to be a thing of the past

And I not wanting children limits your options like 95% because pretty much everyone wants children what mentally normal woman your going to meet that don’t want children and marriage at some point . That a broken woman in my mind and I’m not even willing to argue that belief because I believe it so strongly Even hoes want children and marriage at some point .

And if you look at the childfree subreddit you see sad stories of people’s partners just changing their mind last minute and leaving. Imagine you with someone for 15 years they line I don’t want kids either . Dedicated your life to them and year 15 I changed my mind and they leave and have a baby with someone else in under a year.

i forgot to quote one thing from this.....most women who don't want kids seriously are mentally off (generally). it sucks, because i don't want kids and this is the dating pool that i have to choose from. most of these chicks are modern feminists that want traditional kind of relationships that are one-sided. They of course cherry pick all of the good things they'd get from a relationship, but don't reciprocate that to their man. I just dealt with a chick like this who i paid for all of our dates for and at first, she said thank you. After a few dates, she expected it to the point where she wouldn't even say thank you and i dropped her for a latina who offers to pay for our dates, but i decline, because i like the gesture so much that i know she ain't using me and i pay anyway....and even cooks for me. the only downside is, she wants KIDS now!

The game is fukked up man.

 

[Dont@Me]

OP happy you posted this; the people who are family orientated like that usually grew up with no dysfunction. God bless them. I don't hate because low-key I'm envious. It puts people like us in a tight spot when we have kids tho

this is the thing.....i know i grew up around dysfunction which influenced my views on relationships and my current lifestyle. I'll probably be relegated to livin a bachelor lifestyle or be a serial-monogamist until i die if i don't change (which i'll even be fine with at this point), because i'd rather be alone than deal with modern women, and on the other hand, i wouldn't even want a traditional relationship because i don't want marriage/kids anyway. i'd be lookin for the unicorn of unicorns out there.

 

[FreedMind]

I'm not particularly close to my family any more either. Too much gossiping and talking behind each other's backs instead of working together towards a common goal.

Make no mistake about it, I'll still see family and would help whenever needed, but as of recently, hardly keep in touch ever.