I just got done talking to my dad and he can't figure me out like most people. I'm a complex thinker living in a time, where high level thought isnt appreciated. So Iv'e accepted my fate of being lonely internally aswell as externally. Even if I did settle down . A woman could never really keep me company. I could be among million people and still feel lonely. I would have to turn off who I'am truly just for her sake to make a relationship work. Because I was cursed to see the world in a very exact way. But at some point after the pain. you get to this very stoic acceptance stage. Stoicism is important like @HellRell804 stated before. Where u try not to get angry, u just accept things and don't penalize people for their lack of knowledge. Sometimes u were just born to take that responsibility. You were "chosen". You just need to accept it and fulfill your role or everybody will go down.
I love my parents and my family but I'm somewhere mentally where the old me died . Hes never coming back. I cant even pretend to make people feel comfortable anymore. I've reach a place that very few will ever experience. A very lonely solitude, where I exist alone in my own world trying to co exist with the "real" world.
But the good news is, I'm making peace with myself. It hurt at first when u realize that u wont ever be able to be "normal". Its a hard thing to let go of. I once wanted to be like uncle Phil. You know...like everybody else. Good job, big family, lovely wife, family man...make my family proud. But my experiences with the world harden me. Turned me into somebody I wasn't probably even meant to be. Once u reach this place. you can never go back. All u can do is embrace it and make peace with it.
Sometimes in order to survive you have to make tough decisions that might be regrettable but u have no choice. You just have to make peace with god and ask for forgiveness because this is the world that was handed to us. We all try our best to function but you have to play the hand that your dealt to the best of your ability.
I love my parents and my family but I'm somewhere mentally where the old me died . Hes never coming back. I cant even pretend to make people feel comfortable anymore. I've reach a place that very few will ever experience. A very lonely solitude, where I exist alone in my own world trying to co exist with the "real" world.
But the good news is, I'm making peace with myself. It hurt at first when u realize that u wont ever be able to be "normal". Its a hard thing to let go of. I once wanted to be like uncle Phil. You know...like everybody else. Good job, big family, lovely wife, family man...make my family proud. But my experiences with the world harden me. Turned me into somebody I wasn't probably even meant to be. Once u reach this place. you can never go back. All u can do is embrace it and make peace with it.
Sometimes in order to survive you have to make tough decisions that might be regrettable but u have no choice. You just have to make peace with god and ask for forgiveness because this is the world that was handed to us. We all try our best to function but you have to play the hand that your dealt to the best of your ability.
Last edited:
