Anyone else scared to have close friends?

[Dont@Me]

I’m approaching 30 if you're my age, you tend to experience the fact that friends come and go. I'm always seeking but at the same time scared to develop extremely close bonds because I know although it is what I want, there always seems to be disappointment and a fallout waiting to happen

Just carrying baggage from past friendships.

 

[UWasntThere]

Why do you need friends when you have the coli?

 

[Dont@Me]

Why do you need friends when you have the coli?

No new friends
No new friends
no new friends no no no

 

[ill_will82]

I’m approaching 30 if you're my age, you tend to experience the fact that friends come and go. I'm always seeking but at the same time scared to develop extremely close bonds because I know although it is what I want, there always seems to be disappointment and a fallout waiting to happen

Just carrying baggage from past friendships.

I'm sorry but I'm not seeking out friends in general and that could be somewhat of a downfall. I'm just speaking on my behalf and from personal experience from my childhood. If someone can't genuinely accept you for the person you are then what's the point? I was taught as a kid you only have a few real friends in life and looking back on it as a kid, that statement was true.

You may think you have a friend but you'll know who ride with you when you're back is against the wall irl. Treat people like associates until proven otherwise.

 

[AlainLocke]

Friendships as an adult and like most things as an adult is based on mutual benefit...

There is no more..."I like you because I like you..."

That's kinda the problem with capitalism and social bonding...

When bills need to paid and you work 40 to 50 hours of a week...your relationships will center around that...

The bytch you get with better have a good job

The friends you have better be upwardly mobile...

The friends you have better have the same hobbies as you...cause you only got so much time to yourself...do you really wanna fukk around and develop a new hobby....and get to know someone....

Time is money will become your mantra and you live and die by that shyt...

I noticed a lot of close friendships adults have is either with their kids, spouse, family member, co-worker or some motherfukker they known since childhood...

 

[BaggerofTea]

Yes but I am a natural loner though

 

[Moody]

I feel you OP. Your circle gets stronger and thinner with time.

Sounds like a blatant contradiction but it's the truth. Tbh we as dudes don't have the mechanisms to remind our closest nikkas how much they mean to us. So we kind of trapped that way. But any homie you been friends with for years who ain't fukked you over just keep that bond going and ditch the pessimism at the door.

Also you have different kinds of friends. For instance I have this one dude I've known since kindergarten. He's a social recluse of sorts and always has been. He's perfectly content living a slightly more solitary life. Sometimes I see my dude once in the month and that's alright. Some people would abandon that friendship cause he ain't down with the fukkery, but when it comes down to who you want in your life you need to make ur choices.

And I guess that's what longterm friendships are. A series of micro choices that culminate into a real bond in the future. Sounds sappy af but yeah...

 

[LDThaGod]

It’s krazy I had homeboys who was literally close to me like brothers but now that I’m 30, it’s honestly been this way since I was about 27 but I don’t talk to those dudes at all anymore...one of them started to become a partial junkie so I couldn’t hang with dude anymore, one of them still wanna act like he in early 20’s and the other one who ironically I was most closest too fukked me over by smashing my baby Mama behind my back....so yea I’m terrified of making friends