Anyone here got through a rough patch in their marriage ?

[rabbid]

she gonna go to her mama house and make it seem like you're the big bad wolf that she needs liberation from. at that point you may as well call it a night. i do believe there's a point of no return at some point. when you go from being apart of the family to an adversary. i've never been married tho just from what i've seen

 

[WhatsGoodTy]

This is the hard part for a lot of people. A lot of people go into relationships and marriage thinking that it's supposed to be perfect when it's not going to be perfect right off the bat, if ever. You try to get as close to perfect as YOU can by working at it. Doing the work is important.

But if you go into it thinking it's supposed to be like "magic, poof, we here. We should be happy. Why aren't we happy? Uh oh, I'm not happy, I should leave."

If you go into it with that attitude, it will definitely fail.

You have to understand that there's going to be a lot of rough times, a lot of hard times. You're two individual people literally trying to combine two lives, two people, two experiences, two everythings into one. And that's not easy, at ALL.

Marriage is hard. But to breh in the OP, I hope you can work it out and keep going. Rough patch doesn't mean it's over. Keep your head up.

I’m working on it and with a kid on the way I have no choice, but to fix what we have going on. And I want to fix it no matter what.

 

[WhatsGoodTy]

Sighs.....guess I'll spill my eucalyptus flavored tea for a bit before I take my weekend nap.

Besides the two years of hell, there was an earlier time when my marriage was on the rocks. I'm talking the end to Dru Hill's "We're Not Making Love No More" video. Somehow, during those moments, we always find a resolution to get through the mistake in the making.


In the beginning stages of the marriage, we would argue from here to kingdom come. Mainly due to our differences:

• She's from the South, I'm from the North
• She's not affectionate, while I'm overly affectionate
• She's a strong believer in God, while I believe but not reciting bible verses out of the blue

It got worse when our son was born. In my mind, I wanted us to get our shyt together before a baby came, but she let me know that I was going to be a good father etc. No lie, I was battling a troubling childhood and had issues with myself, especially involving dealing with regrets.


Long story short, my ex came out of nowhere and I admittedly was caught under a spell. I got colder towards my wife, and even gave her silent treatments to the point you could hear a pin drop. One day, i had to make a choice between running back up North and repeating the cycle that my father and stepfather done , or I can stand on my two, tell the past to fukk off and focus on my family. Suddenly, my son let out a "dad". It wasn't the typical silly "dad" goo goo gaga baby talk. It was a profound sound to his voice, like straight up "dude, you're about to ruin a good thing".

So I snapped out of my senses and focus on being a father and husband.

Marriages are not perfect, it is a work in itself. You will have those lustful moments, you will feel like paradise ended, and you will want to break the hell out, but breh this is not the time for such things .

The biggest thing that's helpful in a marriage is communication and prayer. If there's no conversation and understanding in the relationship, it's doomed to fail. If there's no compromising and improvising in the marriage, it's going to be a ever-growing war with no winners or losers. Just pure destruction within the household.

Also, food helps. When my wife and I have our shytty days, she ends up making tacos, and we snap out of the shyt because Tacos are amazing

This is exactly what I’m going through! Almost to a tee breh.