Fam you focusing on too many "bad" things in your life at one time. All I hear is the "bad" parts about your life which is relative. Switch your mindset and first be thankful for all the things that seem negative right now. Remember there are people that can only see the good out of even the worse situation and people that can only see the bad out the best situation.
- Be thankful you can even get an education, many can't -- this seems like the source of all your frustration anyway according to your post. Does it make sense to maybe leave school for now and get your mind and spirit aligned with God first? Only you can answer that. THERE IS NO VALIDATION IN THIS WORLD. The answer is not accomplishments fam. Your inner self is out of wack which is why everything on the outside seems upside down. You looking for fulfillment through your mothers words and through societies definition of success. That'll leave anyone depressed. Society is clearly messed up and your mom is probably too so why are you listening to either?
- I live in South Florida fam and actually teach at a college down here so I see what you're going through everyday and have conversations like this everyday. I can go on and on with advice but Ill try to sum it up like this.
- Seek God, no matter what the world says and what a lot of people on this board says there is true peace in him and giving all your problems to him. I would start with a simple prayer out of the honesty of your heart to ask God to reveal himself to you in a undeniable way and to also show you the way.
- embrace your situation. ALL OF IT. You actually need this situation to build you into the man you are to become. Situations show you your character and weakness so be honest with your shortcomings, and chip away at them little by little. Are you too materialistic? Do you care about others opinions too much who don't have a general concern in your wellbeing and if so why? Are you lazy? Do you complain too much in areas where you should be thankful? etc etc. Be honest about who you are is what I'm saying and also about what you have done to be who you are up until this point -- and own it. Who you are today is based on yesterdays decisions and who you will be tomorrow is based on what you start doing today.
- Write down your blessings and thank God for them. I know this may sound "dumb" or pointless but by doing this you will realize how blessed you are fam and how much God has looked out for you thus far. You got 4K in your account and have a place to live. I know people on the street right now fam who would pray for your situation. Perspective is key!
- Lastly, workout and take vitamins everyday or start. You need somewhere to release this stress you making up in your mind. Can't state this enough. You are a spirit first living in a body. Get your soul right and get your body right by bringing it under submission to God's purpose for you.
A lot more I can say but this is enough.
