I certainty feel like I'm just existing, I only go outside 3-4 times a month these days
When I do go outside and when I come back home I kinda feel stressed and feel the urge to throw myself in the bushes, went outside today and now I'm feeling really fukked up, fukking schizo voices fukking with me again and the other two sickness I have as usual was a nuisance.
A couple of weekends ago I went to back to my old HS, I obviously didn't go inside the building as it was a Saturday lol but anyway, I just did the "walk" I always did from the subway station to the school, In hopes of striking up some good energy or memories from that time period, but it didn't work
Now I know how Biggie when he made Suicidal thoughts and his verse on Runnin'
Never would thought January 2011 would be the last

month of my life, things just gradually got worst from there on out...