We appreciate them when they're not ours, and don't appreciate them when they won't stay the fukk away from us.
My boy was fukking a broad with a kid who was somewhere around three. Old enough to talk shyt,but not know what he was talkin bout. He would go around grabbing shyt like your phone or keys, yell while your talkin and he purposely cock block my boy with his moms- typical kid shyt right?
Kid would say stuff like "shut up" "stupid " "dummy". You cant tell this kid nothing "put that down" "shut up", "don't touch that " "shut up" "be careful" "shut up" "watch out!" "shut up"
So one day my boy is over at his girls crib and her son is wildin as usual.moms is in the other room and my homey tells the little kid to "c'mere" the little boy walks over, my homie is sitting on the couch and he lightly grabs both of the little kids hands and looks him dead in the eyes with his face like 5 inches from his face and whispers
The little boys eyes welled up and started bawling. His mom's comes into the room "what happened?" my boy said "i dont know, he just started crying..." the boy told his mom what he said and he denied it like crazy. he said after that the boy never talked shyt and was actually more responsive and would listen. Just as it seemed like all was well ol girl broke it off saying nows a tough time cause he needs a daddy
That shyts hilarious though we laugh all the time about that.
Then there was one time I was prolly 14 me and my boy were at a pool and this little fukking kid, maybe 9 or 10 was being annoying as shyt. He was like dancing or doing something like right in front of us, his arms were shaking and he kept actin like he was gonna hit but not touch us. We're minding our own business don't know who this kid is, he's interrupting our bullshyt conversation and we were just trying to chill. I told him, "you need to go or Ima have to put you to sleep" then for like 7 minutes he kept spreading his arms out at the side and popping his head forward and saying "do it, do it, put me to sleep"
I didn't put him in a sleeper hold I just locked his arms up from behind his head so he couldn't flail around. My arm was across his neck but there was enough room to put a pair of shoes between my arm and his neck, he wasn't being choked at all. This fool put on a performance worth of a SAG nomination.
Started crying and shyt, I wasn't even holding him tight. Lifeguards and shyt came over "you choked a little kid?" they kicked me out. Little bytch
Like 3-4 years later this little fool came to my boys house (unknowingly) to ask if he can cut the grass for money. My boy was like "i just cut it yesterday" this nigglet said "can you give me the money and I'll come back and cut it next week?" We were fukkin rollin. My homeboy shut the door, 2 mins later the kid knocks and asks if he can use the bathroom.....my boy was caught off guard so he was like "......yeah, I guess" this strange motherfukker takes of his shoes and socks at the door and goes to the bathroom. on the way out he asks if my home boy is sure that he can't cut the grass that day. My boy said "do you have gas?" "no" "do you have your own mower?" "no" "but you want me to pay you to use my mower and my gas on my grass that doesn't need to be cut?" then in the funniest crackhead voice you can imagine he said "but I need the money"
We died, we almost paid him for those laughs. We told him to go on home. We laughed for hours until we tried to rationalize what he needed money for and we knew he had some much younger siblings and have never seen his parents we figured they or she was a junkie and he needed to buy some ramen from the corner store for his siblings, that wasn't funny. But taking off your shoes and socks within seconds of walking into a strangers house and removing the bass in your voice to whinily say "but I need the money " is hilarious
My boy was fukking a broad with a kid who was somewhere around three. Old enough to talk shyt,but not know what he was talkin bout. He would go around grabbing shyt like your phone or keys, yell while your talkin and he purposely cock block my boy with his moms- typical kid shyt right?
Kid would say stuff like "shut up" "stupid " "dummy". You cant tell this kid nothing "put that down" "shut up", "don't touch that " "shut up" "be careful" "shut up" "watch out!" "shut up"
So one day my boy is over at his girls crib and her son is wildin as usual.moms is in the other room and my homey tells the little kid to "c'mere" the little boy walks over, my homie is sitting on the couch and he lightly grabs both of the little kids hands and looks him dead in the eyes with his face like 5 inches from his face and whispers
i'm gonna kill you
The little boys eyes welled up and started bawling. His mom's comes into the room "what happened?" my boy said "i dont know, he just started crying..." the boy told his mom what he said and he denied it like crazy. he said after that the boy never talked shyt and was actually more responsive and would listen. Just as it seemed like all was well ol girl broke it off saying nows a tough time cause he needs a daddy
That shyts hilarious though we laugh all the time about that.
Then there was one time I was prolly 14 me and my boy were at a pool and this little fukking kid, maybe 9 or 10 was being annoying as shyt. He was like dancing or doing something like right in front of us, his arms were shaking and he kept actin like he was gonna hit but not touch us. We're minding our own business don't know who this kid is, he's interrupting our bullshyt conversation and we were just trying to chill. I told him, "you need to go or Ima have to put you to sleep" then for like 7 minutes he kept spreading his arms out at the side and popping his head forward and saying "do it, do it, put me to sleep"
I didn't put him in a sleeper hold I just locked his arms up from behind his head so he couldn't flail around. My arm was across his neck but there was enough room to put a pair of shoes between my arm and his neck, he wasn't being choked at all. This fool put on a performance worth of a SAG nomination.
Started crying and shyt, I wasn't even holding him tight. Lifeguards and shyt came over "you choked a little kid?" they kicked me out. Little bytch
Like 3-4 years later this little fool came to my boys house (unknowingly) to ask if he can cut the grass for money. My boy was like "i just cut it yesterday" this nigglet said "can you give me the money and I'll come back and cut it next week?" We were fukkin rollin. My homeboy shut the door, 2 mins later the kid knocks and asks if he can use the bathroom.....my boy was caught off guard so he was like "......yeah, I guess" this strange motherfukker takes of his shoes and socks at the door and goes to the bathroom. on the way out he asks if my home boy is sure that he can't cut the grass that day. My boy said "do you have gas?" "no" "do you have your own mower?" "no" "but you want me to pay you to use my mower and my gas on my grass that doesn't need to be cut?" then in the funniest crackhead voice you can imagine he said "but I need the money"
We died, we almost paid him for those laughs. We told him to go on home. We laughed for hours until we tried to rationalize what he needed money for and we knew he had some much younger siblings and have never seen his parents we figured they or she was a junkie and he needed to buy some ramen from the corner store for his siblings, that wasn't funny. But taking off your shoes and socks within seconds of walking into a strangers house and removing the bass in your voice to whinily say "but I need the money " is hilarious
