Best Approach To Morning "Relations"...I Need Advice Please

[The M.I.C.]

Got a lady friend who I have over every other weekend, great lady..good job, great personality and great body.

Action in the bed is fantastic...AT NIGHT. However, she is one of those who likes to get it in first thing when the sun rises. Normally, I'm at this but I'll be goddamned if this woman's morning breath don't be scorching my goatee off with them ghastly fumes. Never knew such a gotdamn stench could ever originate from a female like that.. This shyt has been ongoing for the past month, so I've been trying to be proactive, limit my exposure to the radioactivity by trying to regulate what the hell she eats before we hit the crib for the night...example..

Her: "What we eating tonight baby?"
Me:
Her: "I'm thinking we could go to Chili's or something."
Me: "What you trying to get to eat from there?"
Her: "They got some good ass Salmon I like and we can have some queso dip and chips for an appetizer ."
Me:
Her: "The hell is wrong with you?"
Me: "We doing salads and water tonight."


When we get settled in, I'm making sure the Crest toothpaste and a healthy variety of different flavored mouthwashes are on display prominently. The funny thing is, the problem doesn't pop off when we do round one at night. Only in the morning...I don't know what the fukk is the issue. Digestive problems, gas? Witchcraft? :bishopscust: How does someone wake up and want to fukk off the bat when their mouth been cookin at 100 degrees the whole night? This bytch is completely oblivious. Last Sunday morning, she reachin in my drawls, strokin my joint talking about "Where's my morning wood at, baby?"..I'm awake, I can hear this broad but I'm holding my breath and ignoring her...hopin she needs to hit the bathroom and then decide to baptize them tonsils. However, she still talking, all the while trying to give me them Sonya Blade kisses of death and shyt. It got to a point where I just rolled off the bed and acted like nothing happened..

I've done left some mints and a cup of mouthwash on the nightstand next to where she sleeps to help, I've nicely hinted about the shyt in convos..I've almost accidentally slapped this woman off pure reflex due to her shyt assaulting my nostrils while I was passed out.

Recommendations? Should I cut her loose? Be more upfront? Anyone ever had this issue before? Do any of you just go for it and say fukk it (nasty motherfukkers ) or at least freshen up a bit before you throw down in the morning?

 

[Silkk]

Tell her

 

[Gully Bull]

Witchcraft? :bishopscust:

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

Anyone with sense knows their breath stinks in the morning so you reminding her of that fact shouldn't be that big of a deal. However she probably doesn't think you mind since you never bothered to mention it before. This is something you could have dealt with in the beginning. Just tell her.

 

[sfgiants]

Wake up before her. The spooning position was custom made for situations like this

What I do is I press my stiffened flesh rope right on the crack of her ass then ease into the spooning position and grab her t*ts

eventually they arch their back n stick their ass out so u can slide into them

Then u can bang them and not be face to face. U can even transition into prone bone or doggy style them

If u want payback u can always fart next time she's sucking u off

 

[DJSmooth]

If you can't stand the way a chick naturally smells drop her.

Once she gets even more comfortable with you the smells are only going to get worse.

 

[Shadow King]

This is why morning sex was never sexy to me. I'm sure her breath is hot at 8 A.M. and I KNOW mine is.

If u want payback u can always fart next time she's sucking u off

 

[The M.I.C.]

Tell her

shyt's annoying, why the hell I gotta tell a grown ass broad to brush her damn teeth in the morning. I don't want to outright embarrass her and have this woman go into full retreat..I would think me leaving a thing of tic tacs on her pillow would be clue enough.

Anyone with sense knows their breath stinks in the morning so you reminding her of that fact shouldn't be that big of a deal. However she probably doesn't think you mind since you never bothered to mention it before. This is something you could have dealt with in the beginning. It's not mean to say it.

I guess..how you go about approaching them morning time acrobatics, lady? :carmen:

 

[The M.I.C.]

Wake up before her. The spooning position was custom made for situations like this

What I do is I press my stiffened flesh rope right on the crack of her ass then ease into the spooning position and grab her t*ts

eventually they arch their back n stick their ass out so u can slide into them

Then u can bang them and not be face to face. U can even transition into prone bone or doggy style them

If u want payback u can always fart next time she's sucking u off

:deadmark:

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

shyt's annoying, why the hell I gotta tell a grown ass broad to brush her damn teeth in the morning. I don't want to outright embarrass her and have this woman go into full retreat..I would think me leaving a thing of tic tacs on her pillow would be clue enough.



I guess..how you go about approaching them morning time acrobatics, lady? :carmen:

Oh I just pretend like I'm still sleeping until he gets out of the bed

 

[BrehWyatt]

Seems as if you have taken every possible precaution you can sans flat out telling her.

So either you tell her, or -- assuming y'all are comfortable enough with each other -- do what @sfgiants said.

 

[Cabbage Patch]

Probably a post nasal drip problem. If she brushes at night but theres a problem in the morning, that not hygiene. Thats the body reacting to something.

Does she still have her tonsils?

 

[Big Daddy]

I'd jokingly tell her. I used to joke-tell my ex that her sh!t be stanking. It's easy. And, as women, they immediately get the point(but without being offended because of the delivery).

Win-win

 

[The M.I.C.]

Probably a post nasal drip problem. If she brushes at night but theres a problem in the morning, that not hygiene. Thats the body reacting to something.

Does she still have her tonsils?

Not sure, I think she does...

 

[Strapped]

Just tell her ,if she likes you she'll adjust dawgie