coli, tell me if i got bars or not.

[vaudevillevillain]

Jones (Rapper) – Daaam







drop some honest feedback brehs, thanks in advance.

looking for new producers too.

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

Delete

 

[Flychologist]

drop some honest feedback brehs, thanks in advance.

looking for new producers too.

You got a good flow, barwise you aren't really saying anything crazy for the most part but the flow carries you. Every rapper that's on top of the game now is pretty much doing the same thing so let me stop you from getting it.

yea and while you're at it

You only posted one track so I can't give you a well rounded opinion but as far as the track you need some cadence and voice inflection work. You sound like you're rapping angry like Vinnie Paz. And less lines like the wrangler Billie Jean one. They don't go anywhere and stand out for the wrong reason.

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

You got a good flow, barwise you aren't really saying anything crazy for the most part but the flow carries you. Every rapper that's on top of the game now is pretty much doing the same thing so let me stop you from getting it.



You only posted one track so I can't give you a well rounded opinion but as far as the track you need some cadence and voice inflection work. You sound like you're rapping angry like Vinnie Paz. And less lines like the wrangler Billie Jean one. They don't go anywhere and stand out for the wrong reason.

i know this is an a$$hole thing to say..... but can you explain this a little more... TO ME... it's like you're just saying random words

is my cadence not on beat? or do i switch it up too much? or do i need to switch it up more?

voice inflection is like the rising and lowering of your voice right? doesn't sound like i'm rapping but more like i'm yelling? that i fully understand.. i just loaded up these beats and recorded for the first time in almost a year.. i literally was angry and hyped doing it so that i fully got


that line stands out for the wrong reasons? it's just a play on jeans and wranglers.... but i really do sometimes dance around to billie jean.. it's my fav song... why is not good to have lines like that in a freestyle?




i'm not trying to be an ass... i want to understand... it's RARE someone will actually give you CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and tell you how to get better... so i appreciate it totally... just trying to understand the technical aspects you're speaking of cause i've never been much on technicals

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

delete

 

[Flychologist]

i know this is an a$$hole thing to say..... but can you explain this a little more... TO ME... it's like you're just saying random words

is my cadence not on beat? or do i switch it up too much? or do i need to switch it up more?

voice inflection is like the rising and lowering of your voice right? doesn't sound like i'm rapping but more like i'm yelling? that i fully understand.. i just loaded up these beats and recorded for the first time in almost a year.. i literally was angry and hyped doing it so that i fully got


that line stands out for the wrong reasons? it's just a play on jeans and wranglers.... but i really do sometimes dance around to billie jean.. it's my fav song... why is not good to have lines like that in a freestyle?




i'm not trying to be an ass... i want to understand... it's RARE someone will actually give you CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and tell you how to get better... so i appreciate it totally... just trying to understand the technical aspects you're speaking of cause i've never been much on technicals

For instance, in the beginning when you're shouting out your real friends you sound upset. You shouldnt sound upset shouting out your friends. I don't know if you know who Vinnie Paz is but the running joke on him is that he always sounds angry and upset.

Voice inflections and cadence is what helps you make a point and keep you on par with the beat. The first part of that freestyle you start rhyming faster at points to keep on track with the beat like what you planned to say would have taken you off beat in your normal flow. If you want a good example of voice inflections look at 2pac. He wasn't a bar guy but it was all HOW he said it that made people feel it.He knew when to sound angry and when to sound mellow. If you want a good example of cadence listen to jay-z

That wrangler Billie Jean line is just bad. It goes nowhere. It's just a word association and it has no point. The visual of you dancing to Billie Jean in wranglers does nothing to help you. If I was a casual person checking your music out for the first time that would be the line that I turned you off after.

 

[The Devil's Advocate]

For instance, in the beginning when you're shouting out your real friends you sound upset. You shouldnt sound upset shouting out your friends. I don't know if you know who Vinnie Paz is but the running joke on him is that he always sounds angry and upset.

Voice inflections and cadence is what helps you make a point and keep you on par with the beat. The first part of that freestyle you start rhyming faster at points to keep on track with the beat like what you planned to say would have taken you off beat in your normal flow. If you want a good example of voice inflections look at 2pac. He wasn't a bar guy but it was all HOW he said it that made people feel it.He knew when to sound angry and when to sound mellow. If you want a good example of cadence listen to jay-z

That wrangler Billie Jean line is just bad. It goes nowhere. It's just a word association and it has no point. The visual of you dancing to Billie Jean in wranglers does nothing to help you. If I was a casual person checking your music out for the first time that would be the line that I turned you off after.

i see what you mean now... yea i really just wrote this the day before and rapped over it the next day... so i can see where and what you meant by that.. i tend to just throw random shyt in my freestyles ala lil wayne.. just write a few bars... think of something else that sounds good, aight i'll throw that in... etc etc


i tend to have a more steady flow on actual songs.. i posted two more... but really.. thanks again.. that helps out a lot

 

[Flychologist]

i see what you mean now... yea i really just wrote this the day before and rapped over it the next day... so i can see where and what you meant by that.. i tend to just throw random shyt in my freestyles ala lil wayne.. just write a few bars... think of something else that sounds good, aight i'll throw that in... etc etc


i tend to have a more steady flow on actual songs.. i posted two more... but really.. thanks again.. that helps out a lot

Avoid filler lines. As a creator you're always going to be thinking of things. They all won't be great and as a unknown artist you don't have the star power like lil Wayne who still gets clowned for his questionable lines. As a unknown artist you have one shot to capture someone if you're lucky. You need every line to hit or at least not stick out for being bad.

The other tracks you posted are solid