Coparenting in a different state from where your kids live...

[murksiderock]

You quoted me talking to another dad about what is acceptable for us and what conversations we’ve had with our wives. I wasn’t even talking about you specifically and don’t know you from a can of paint. If your situation is acceptable for you then rock with it, but don’t call me a know it all when you asked me to substantiate what I was saying to someone else about how we approach fatherhood. We’re all men getting it how we live, but if you ask me a direct question I’m going to answer it.

I never said anything about what conversation you have with your wife, or what is acceptable for you. You, however, did jump out the window saying "you didn't sign the birth certificate"; "you can't have parental influence with the schedule you currently see your kids"; and several other weird, all-knowing posts...

You said those things, and were loud and proud and WRONG its all good though, family!

 

[the bossman]

Any argument you're making for the money is coming directly from your ego. Unless you riding out to save the world/serve humanity in a way you cannot where your children are, you are being offered this *bag* on behalf of the devil (the ego) in an already chaotic timeline where children need a father more than they need an extra failing dollar or two from an absent parent.

It's ego. RTP has money. Granted I don't know what field OP is in. But I know several cats down there pulling 200k+.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

A lil 20k can entice you to abandon your 3 daughters.

You a whole piece of shyt gah dammm


But you currently live in the same state with your kids and you still barely see them.

 

[True Blue Moon]

I never said anything about what conversation you have with your wife, or what is acceptable for you. You, however, did jump out the window saying "you didn't sign the birth certificate"; "you can't have parental influence with the schedule you currently see your kids"; and several other weird, all-knowing posts...

You said those things, and were loud and proud and WRONG it’s all good though, family!

You did. You asked why I said it’s “impossible” for a father to instill the level of structure and discipline etc that a father should, and said I don’t know your story, when I wasn’t talking about you or your story. I was talking to another breh about how we approach it.

If the birth certificate wasn’t signed due to clerical errors then cool. But you know that the sentence I bolded was referring to saying we don’t understand because we’re married and you’re not, as if we lucked up for being married rather than made a decision. You personalized this to you when I was talking to someone else. Ego on 10.

 

[the bossman]

I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with this. I know people who do tho and it’s ugly. Kids have abandonment issues, baby moms can act any ol kinda way. The older I get the less ok I am with letting my future kids end up in a broken home.

OP did you consider how your kids might feel with you leaving? They may feel like you didn't love them enough to stay close to them and that might cause damage that can never be repaired.

That's the thing. You could have all the good intentions in the world. Young kids at that age don't understand and don't gaf about 20 or 30k . They care about your presence. All those little daily moments (e.g. pickups/dropoffs from school, going to the park, bedtime tuck ins, dinner, your presence when they have those random sick days, etc.) all those little daily moments are what form the glue for their relationship with you. Ain't no amount of scheduled Saturdays or virtual calls will make up for that. When they at the park with moms and wondering why they can't have their dad pushing them on the swing like the other little kids

Go for the 20k if you want just know there's a high chance that comes at an emotional cost for those little girls

 

[bigde09]

@murksiderock I remember a thread you made when you went to someone's job to confront them because your ex was dealing with him.

Just by reading your threads I can tell you are an immature guy that cares about himself over anything else.

You need to take a long look in the mirror. You can write all the essays you want. You are on scumbag timing.

 

[murksiderock]

It's ego. RTP has money. Granted I don't know what field OP is in. But I know several cats down there pulling 200k+.

I'm in the restaurant industry...

You did. You asked why I said it’s “impossible” for a father to instill the level of structure and discipline etc that a father should, and said I don’t know your story, when I wasn’t talking about you or your story. I was talking to another breh about how we approach it.

If the birth certificate wasn’t signed due to clerical errors then cool. But you know that the sentence I bolded was referring to saying we don’t understand because we’re married and you’re not, as if we lucked up for being married rather than made a decision. You personalized this to you when I was talking to someone else. Ego on 10.

It hasn't occurred to me to go back and look at who you were talking to when I quoted you, nor has it crossed my mind that you bring married is a stroke of luck. Lot of assumptions with you, and you aren't exactly demonstrating as egoless, either...

That's the thing. You could have all the good intentions in the world. Young kids at that age don't understand and don't gaf about 20 or 30k . They care about your presence. All those little daily moments (e.g. pickups/dropoffs from school, going to the park, bedtime tuck ins, dinner, your presence when they have those random sick days, etc.) all those little daily moments are what form the glue for their relationship with you. Ain't no amount of scheduled Saturdays or virtual calls will make up for that. When they at the park with moms and wondering why they can't have their dad pushing them on the swing like the other little kids

Go for the 20k if you want just know there's a high chance that comes at an emotional cost for those little girls

I mean I already said I'm not making a permanent move...

@murksiderock I remember a thread you made when you went to someone's job to confront them because your ex was dealing with him.

Just by reading your threads I can tell you are an immature guy that cares about himself over anything else.

You need to take a long look in the mirror. You can write all the essays you want. You are on scumbag timing.

Thanks for your reply, g!

 

[True Blue Moon]

I'm in the restaurant industry...

It hasn't occurred to me to go back and look at who you were talking to when I quoted you, nor has it crossed my mind that you bring married is a stroke of luck. Lot of assumptions with you, and you aren't exactly demonstrating as egoless, either...

I mean I already said I'm not making a permanent move...

Thanks for your reply, g!

I was specifically referring to you saying to me that I and others don’t understand your personal situation because we’re married. If anything I said resonates, cool. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly.

 

[the bossman]

I'm in the restaurant industry...

Apologies on my assumptions then. I know there's tons of folks doing very well in tech there in RTP. Apple building a campus down there too.
But food & restaurant industry is different.

I mean I already said I'm not making a permanent move...

Understood. Just hope you understand the full picture. Very logical to go for a career move that will ultimately benefit you and your children.

But right now at this stage kids that age will always take having daily access to you over any economical gains you could provide from afar

The way you love them may not change while you're in another state, but they most likely won't feel that love the same way. No matter how you try to logically explain it to them. Little kids especially little girls need to feel that shyt daily. Best of luck

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[Apollo Creed]

@Gloxina