What you just described is exactly to the letter what I go through with these dusty ass muthafukas. I have just as much vigor, bounce, glow etc as I did when i was 17 yrs old, I'm twice as ambitious , I still workout, etc etc.
I pay bills and all the "grown" shyt im supposed to, Im out here gettin bags, stackin certs, but to tell you the truth...after all the struggling, grinding and finding success, I still don't feel like an adult per se'. I just never identified with that manufactured image of adulthood and I always did my own thing, All I know is that I love living my life and having goals to chase, and striving to be the best me,
Only drawback to my birthday is having to hear the flabby and sick "you getting on up there" comments even though im still in my early 30s. None of the age shyt resonates with me no matter how hard people push and project their mentality on to me.
So I end up having a lot of superficial small talk, because I dont keep up wit sports , I dont care about what trump is doing or the news in general unless there's a tornado or some shyt, I dont have kids, I dont have insane debt, and I have little interest in hearing all that " back in the day" and "when you get to be my age [insert justification for being washed]" bullshyt. I like peace of mind, learning new shyt, and experiencing the best shyt life can offer, I love being in hot pusuit of a goal, knocking that shyt out and looking back saying to myself "I did that shyt".
I got bomb ass wife who likes to play games with me, be silly and chase each other around the house like we're 13 and shyt, and she supports my goals and likewise, she doesnt get in my way and put uneeded pressure like issuing ultimatums and shyt. We fukk as much as possible, and when she dont feel like it , its understood im going to grab this Tenga flex and fap to like 15 open tabs of porn, and she's going to do the same if im on some "not right now shyt". Once I lose this weight My life will be as perfect as it can get as idiet has been one of my only true challenges and my wife is supporting with this vegetarian shyt,
Basically My life is great, I look like im in my early 20's, feel like im 16 , and dont have much to complain about, Im always on my purpose in life and I squirm in my seat when i get around washed up up self-defeating ass people with nothing to look forward to besides getting off of work to watch football and hit the bar t o bytch about their lives with zero interest in doing shyt about it.
I was this way even when I was at rockbottom, struggling, and stealing money orders people dropped on the ground just to get by, I wasnt proud of it but I also had the discernment and optimistic mindset to know I could bounce back eventually and so I did. most would have off themselves or gotten locked up, but hardships just never resonated with the same way , so people look at me funny when I dont join their pity party and bond with them over negative , trivial, and soul draining bullshyt. I truly dont give a fukk. nikkas think i just never been through shyt and thats why im so bright eyed and full of life, nah nikka I just took my shyt to the chin like a champ, and never lost sight of who i am and who I always been, That's the reason I have 0 friends from childhood easy to get along with and will try to help people but im not tolerating any of that toxic bullshyt. sorry brehs I cant bond with you by griping and being salty, It's a lonely road but its a peaceful, enjoyable one too
