First Off: Today was a pretty huge L for me, slacked off on studying, and ruminated on my ex all day. My best friend of 10+yrs recently broke up with me in August and I'm not fully over that shyt. It stings, because I hold myself accountable for all the fukk shyt that went wrong. Basically, we were friends for a long time before March this year when we started fukking each other, and going out on dates. She had just gotten out of a relationship last yr Oct where her fiance was cheating on her so she was still damaged by this. I also just got out of a relationship this January so basically we rebounded with each other which was terrible. But we were both there for each others breakups and it just fukking happened. Things felt like they could've ended up the fairy tail ending but there were SO many red flags lol. We were just lost in the sauce because we had buried feelings for each other. So in the back of my mind I kept doubting that it would last and so it happened. She opened up to me but I could never be vulnerable with her. That really ruined things and shyt kind of fell apart. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, said she didn't know if/when she will ever be ready, but that she isn't ready now. We talked a little since then and even as of 3 weeks ago she commented on something I posted on FB. Saw this Thanksgiving since our families are close, but she kept her distance and was somewhat cold. The next day I texted her to see if she wanted to get something to eat and she didn't respond. So I am guessing she felt that I wasn't completely over things or that she feels she shouldn't be around me 1-on-1. It's cause my depression to hit me hard, but hey, that's life. I still got goals and dreams, but it's hard to chase that when this shyt cripples both your energy, mental well being, and motivation. Remember ya'll, once you start you have to try your best not to stop or fall off. You will have good and bad days, but you have to make sure you don't give in, ya hear?