Do you still tell your kids a fat white man gave all them gifts on Christmas

[Chrome2279]

The lies in this thread..

 

[The_Sheff]

If the lifelong relationship you have with your kids hinges upon who they believe brought them gifts as a 4 year old then you fukked up big time.

 

[SunZoo]

I tell them that Santa is black and that all the white Santa's they see are either spies or work for the real Santa.

 

[NoirDynosaur]

I dress up as Krampus and beat neighborhood children for the holidays

That way "Season's Greetings" becomes "Seasons Beatings" and the kids couldn't give a fukk what race Santa is due to their bewilderment over getting that work from a goat-footed demon armed with hickory switches.

Parents love it because it tempers their kids expectations for the holidays.

Congratulate me if you want, but at the end of the day, I'm no hero, just a guy doing his part to make a difference and spread joy to the world

Checkmate. I'm dressing up as the Grinch with a ski mask and pulling up with pepper spray

In case the security guards try to chase me I'll pouring bacon grease on the floor and moonwalking like

Happy Holidays mothafukka

 

[mattw1313]

fukk a Christmas pagan holiday

EDIT: imagine lying to your kids

exactly.


and then wonder why they grow up with trust issues

 

[Sbp]

Nope. This is the real Santa anyway