Does the community has much more influence over your kid than you do ?

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

your kids spend most of their time not with family dealing with external influences. even the best upbringing isn't a full deal assurance against the outside forces.

they see themselves in people that look like themselves in society and those images are overwhelming negative and constant. so how we are being represented and representing ourselves matters. regardless of home rearing. a young boy and girl will still have to play into the culture of the day to socialize with friends and to be attractive to people they like as they come of age to date. most of how we make our childhood memories is doing shyt that is commonly bonding to your age group.

modern culture is toxic and we have put kids in an uphill battle. raising healthy families is not the top priority in society at all current day. it's definitely gotten worse in the last few decades. a kid today makes mistakes in 4k they don't get to live down, social pressure is amplified, bullying is amplified. we dropping kids off in shark waters to navigate even with the best rearing.

 

[desjardins]

IMO they do, you just have to hope you raised your kids good enough for the bad influence to be minimized
Like I snuck to my mans house to watch porn but I would have never let nikkas in my crib to do that
Another example is cursing around my friends but not around my parents

 

[OfTheCross]

Kids are at school 8 hours a day being taught by people who you have no idea their political or ideological views. Then they are surrounded by kids coming from all walks of life.

And to modernize it for now they have the internet where any kid can find a chat room to discuss or get info about anything he wants. They have cell phones that they can contact anyone at any age, at any time. They have social media which they follow people literally called influencers.

Plus coronavirus showed me y’all don’t even like y’all kids enough to even put in enough time to teach them sense.

no lies told.

But I'd say that the influences of a teacher and kids are and can be limited by the parents. All you gotta do is have a conversation with your kid and explain to them why Mrs. Smith or little Timmy is wrong and they'll at least have multiple perspectives.

My sis in Texas raising 2 of the brightest and most wholesome kids I've ever seen. Access to chatrooms, cell phones, social media, etc is extremely limited in her house. Her kids are elementary and middle school aged, though.

For a high school kid, that's when I'd say fr fr parents are not the primary influence.

 

[Matt504]

Yeah...but they're in class for those 8 hours for the most part...

We've been out of school for ~20 years now so it's hard to appreciate how different it is now than how it used to be. Every student has a smartphone, the student/teacher ratios are awful and social media exists and how cool you are is strongly tied to your understanding of the "culture" and how well you've assimilated into it. Parents have a lot of influence in helping shape who their children are but we must be honest about the shape of the community and how many households are fractured.

In an ideal case, your parent is working during the same hours you're in school and you can see each other when you arrive home but that's simply not the reality for many of these kids. They get out of school, mom is still at work, they have to figure out their own food situation and basically govern themselves until parent(s) return. This leaves a lot of free time for them to consume poison by way of social media or be outside in the street where there's not much of constructive value going on.

No matter how you slice it, many of these parents understand the reality that they can't be as present in their children's life as the external factors like social media and the community at large can be. The sooner we all realize this, the sooner we can begin to reshape our communities into spaces where our children aren't susceptible to falling victim to this so-called culture.

 

[JasoRockStar]

Nah, the parents always SHOULD have the most influence. My fear of getting a whooping was stronger than any influence my friends or entertainment when I was little. As I got older that fear was replaced with a fear of getting my technology taken by them. Some of my friends did all types of foolishness because they didn't worry about repercussions. The first environment you learn to navigate around is the home, and ultimately, it's going to be the one to shape you the most.

 

[OfTheCross]

We've been out of school for ~20 years now so it's hard to appreciate how different it is now than how it used to be. Every student has a smartphone, the student/teacher ratios are awful and social media exists and how cool you are is strongly tied to your understanding of the "culture" and how well you've assimilated into it. Parents have a lot of influence in helping shape who their children are but we must be honest about the shape of the community and how many households are fractured.

In an ideal case, your parent is working during the same hours you're in school and you can see each other when you arrive home but that's simply not the reality for many of these kids. They get out of school, mom is still at work, they have to figure out their own food situation and basically govern themselves until parent(s) return. This leaves a lot of free time for them to consume poison by way of social media or be outside in the street where there's not much of constructive value going on.

No matter how you slice it, many of these parents understand the reality that they can't be as present in their children's life as the external factors like social media and the community at large can be. The sooner we all realize this, the sooner we can begin to reshape our communities into spaces where our children aren't susceptible to falling victim to this so-called culture.

For thread purposes...I added a poll and I'll drop this regarding your commentary.

You don't really hear the term "latchkey kid" much anymore, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. According to the Afterschool Alliance, a nonprofit organization that advocates for after-school programs, there were 11.3 million unsupervised school-age kids in 2014. That's roughly 20 percent of the entire K-12 population in the United States.

'Latchkey Kids': What's Different About Leaving Children Home Alone Now Versus Then

Many latchkey kids remember their time fondly, even though they wouldn't leave their own kids alone.

health.howstuffworks.com

You're correct about the differences between us growing up and now, though. I was home alone watching cartoon, playing video games, and playing outside...kids now are largely just so social media consuming who knows what...