Does your parents marriage affect the way you think about Relationships ?

[Raava]

Yea greatly but its positive. They aren't perfect, I have seen the good and bad. It's not unrealistic. They are still together, and happy overall. I just recently this past year watched my mom take care of my dad after his surgery. Even before that her fear for him going into surgery. Like after all this time she still cares for him, loves him like that, doesn't want to lose him. My dad appreciating her, being grateful wanting to make things easier for her.

 

[Thsnnor]

For myself it definitely impacts the way I do things in my marriage. My parents are still married and I ask advice still.

It is said it takes ten years of marriage to truly know your spouse. I'm past that point and I appreciate what we have with each other. Happy wife, happy life and all that.

I have no doubt she would want to change some things about me and I her but nothing foundational, just superficial.

Can't be 50-50 in a relationship because you'll go nowhere. Some days (years) it might be 90-10 or 25-75. A long as both of you equal 100 you can bring out the best in each other.

 

[Marc Spector]

Yes.


My mother is a single mother of 5. I've witnessed my mom place men before my siblings and I. I've experienced my mom tear me & my siblings up both mentally and physically and she allowed whoever man she was messing with at the time, to do the same. My mom allowed a total of 2 men stay with her for years and let the man do whatever he want both to her and to us.

Because of that, I refuse to shack up with a man. I moved in with my husband 2 weeks before we got married. I never forced that on him or any man before him but it was always a personal preference of mine, I will not shack up.

Being my mom is a mother of 5 with 3 different fathers, I refuse to have kids out of wedlock. Before my husband, I NEVER wanted to have kids. Love them to death but never wanted them till now.

Seeing my mom allow men to abuse us physically, mentally and.... sexually... husband or not, I will not let my child get too touchy on their father. My baby will have clothes on at all times, not running around the house with only a diaper. I will bathe my child up until they can do it on their own. I will establish from child to how ever old, if ANYONE including their father, touches them inappropriately, I need to know. I will always believe them. And I will kill for them.
I will show my children that unconditional love that my mother did not give. I will establish a bond, a healthy relationship with them.

But one bad habit I picked up from my mom when she dealt with her ex's is desperation. When I found out my husband cheated and that I also admitted to cheating as well, I felt determined to make changes within relationship so it won't get so bad again to the point our only option was to stray instead of working through our problems. When I feel my husband acts too nonchalant or gives me the impression he doesn't care, I feel the need to want to talk more intimately (since I wasn't doing that before the infedilities happened) but then he gets angry because he feels I'm talking his head off by indulging into the "past" (co-word when referring to the cheating) it makes me panic alittle thinking "will he run off again to someone else or will he leave me this time?" And I'll quickly kill the mushy talk and leave it be. But the overwhelming need to want to talk and unresolved feelings will just sit on my chest so I just silently cry about it and pray that I find peace some other way. I feel desperate to keep him to the point I'm trying to force changes on a, possibly, unwilling partner. I watched my mom desperately try to keep men that just takes advantage of her money, mind and body. That desperation scares the shyt out of me at the same time so angry that it's a trait I've picked up.

Damn. Thats real shyt.

I try not to go in on Black single mothers, but this is always the ugly side of single parenting alotta people don't want to talk about. Especially in the Black community.

 

[GoGetMyDamnBelt_]

Damn. Thats real shyt.

I try not to go in on Black single mothers, but this is always the ugly side of single parenting alotta people don't want to talk about. Especially in the Black community.

True. And if no one talks, how would anyone discover the problem?

 

[Nymbus]

She left the day she found out. Also, my mom isn't the kind of person to get payback. lol She just says "it's his life, he can do what he wants".

But marriage is supposed to be 2 lives joined together

 

[Ashley Banks]

But marriage is supposed to be 2 lives joined together

It's supposed to be but my dad only cared about his happiness.