Does your self-image affect your life?

[CinnaSlim]

Yu know I got chu boo.

1) On a scale of 1 to 10; how do YOU feel about yourself and your self-esteem?
8.75 Im a great person. However, circumstances have kept me from reaching my potential. I still have much to improve.

2) Does the way you feel about yourself differ from how others view you? Are your beliefs about yourself based on proven experiences in reality or are they based on fear or dreams/fantasy?
example: One might say they feel worthless; but they are treated well and loved. but their fear of abandonment causes them to be mean to others.
I feel like I'm a great person, however I am often underappreciated or taken for granted. I tend to put others before myself. I'm am very generous and often in life haven't received the same generousity or appreciation in return. Others do not see me as a priority.

3) Do you avoid things in life because of how you feel about yourself? What things do you avoid and why?
example: One may avoid things because it affects how thhey feel bout themselves. One may have good esteem but avoid public speaking, social media or relationships because they make them feel less together and inadequate or "exposed"

I sometimes avoid relationships with good people because I don't feel I can give them all I that I want. I don't want to become a burden on people so I rarely ask for anything. I believe it should be an equal exchange.

I guess I underestimate or second-guess myself. I am talented but I don't feel secure enough in those talents to show off and be the center of attention. I'll do it in my own space or around strangers who are likely to ignore me.

Overall, I guess I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Even when I cook something for someone I'll apologize or make an excuse saying, "im not sure how it came out". I'll wait for someone's approval.

~*~*~*~

If you are interested in psych and socio, you should check out the relationships between narcissists (NPD) and codependent personality disorders.

 

[Worthless Loser]

I like intense research topics like this that cause you to think outside the box. Glad to help.

So my questions (Please answer honestly; since this is anonymous):

1) On a scale of 1 to 10; how do YOU feel about yourself and your self-esteem?

This varies for me. I could say 8 right now, then by next month be at a 4, then by next month be at a 6. The determination of this scale number is based on current experiences and reflection of past experiences. In addition to those "thoughts" that continuously pops up in my head that challenges my way of thinking.

2) Does the way you feel about yourself differ from how others view you? Are your beliefs about yourself based on proven experiences in reality or are they based on fear or dreams/fantasy?
example: One might say they feel worthless; but they are treated well and loved. but their fear of abandonment causes them to be mean to others.

My family and friends hold me in very, very high regard. A lot of them think I'm incredibly smart, super nice and caring and don't hesitate to tell me. I don't think like this at all. I think much lower and tend to say "I guess" when people say the things I just mentioned.
3) Do you avoid things in life because of how you feel about yourself? What things do you avoid and why?
example: One may avoid things because it affects how thhey feel bout themselves. One may have good esteem but avoid public speaking, social media or relationships because theyt make them feel less together and inadequate or "exposed"

I am a perfectionist so if something does not sound possible, I will not attempt it. Failure, or the idea of not knowing what I'm doing extremely frustrates me. I will often times apologize or say my fault for things that don't warrant an apology (so people end up saying why are you apologizing) just to cover the potential for failure in my warped mind. Also, I will avoid environments that does not meet my "mental genetic make up" due to me not being compatible to the characteristics of the environment.

I'm going to help you a bit by quoting some posts I made in a recent self doubt thread. Hopefully you will be able to pick apart the things I said and incorporate them into your paper.

I think the idea of self doubt and overthinking is justified validation on why we should not go outside our comfort zone. So instead of analyzing the risks and making a calculated, prepared decision to step outside our comfort zone, we instead analyze the risks against a)our own abilities/skills, b)the possibility of failure and how that can negatively effect us over both the short term and long term which makes the comfort zone sound even more comforting.

Another issue is that in some cases self doubt is actually right. It's not the fact that we can't do it, but we don't have the resources that other people are blessed to have that allows them to take risks. And obtaining those resources can be an issue.

The most important thing to remember is that failure is a necessary ingredient in success. It will challenge your mental stability. Will you fold due to one failure, with the thought process being that you are a failure and everything else you do will probably fail to since this failed, or will it challenge you to do more trial and error actions that gives you a higher chance to succeed?

Another thing to consider is that when we self doubt and overthink, a lot of times we are looking for someone else to tell us to "go for it" or that everything will be ok. Sometimes the voice is someone else giving us support is more convincing than our own conscience trying to provide-self support. Reassurance.

If self doubt is like placing a glass ceiling over your head, overthinking is like putting yourself in mental paralysis. You get so clouded with thoughts and complexity that you are unable to think clearly and it allows a higher chance of making the wrong choice. It's like running to catch the bus, but when you finally get to the bus you end up running past it because your mind is in a million different places.

Self-image and self doubt do have a tremendous impact on how we communicate. When you become psychologically worn out, you become less receptive to communication with other people or you tend to zone out or shut down because in theory, you've already came to a conclusion about the situation at hand so everyone else's opinion becomes invalid/useless. It can be a very hard code to crack when people get too psychology worn down.