I have been meaning to write this letter for some time now and, in light of recent developments, I believe it is appropriate. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. The Coli wants us to feel sorry for the gutless rabiators who introduce, cultivate, and encourage moral rot. I personally assert we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that I am totally shocked and angered by The Coli's lethargic improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.
The Coli frequently accuses its critics of ushering in the beginning of a cheeky new era of Pyrrhonism. This is yet another example of the growing lack of civility in our civil discourse that ranges from the callow to the neurotic and even mad. In a more proper debate, one would instead politely point out that if we are to identify, challenge, defy, disrupt, and, finally, destroy the institutions that create a desolation and call it peace, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the vicious and irresponsible ideologies that The Coli promotes. I use such language purposefully—and somewhat sardonically—to illustrate how The Coli is driving me nuts. I can't take it anymore! The Coli seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren't hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that its prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must exercise due diligence in guiding the world into an age of peace, justice, and solidarity. I, not being one of the many nocuous cutthroats of this world, will surely be happy to have your help in this endeavor.