murksiderock
Superstar
Need real advice, I'm welcoming any and all input, and asking the women of The Coli to chime in too, especially those of you who are mothers...
I'm wrestling with a move that will put me 3 to 3½ hours from my children. I live in Raleigh, my two oldest daughters are here, my youngest daughter is in Fayetteville. Realistically, the earliest this move would happen is next June 2024, more likely December 2024 or early 2025. So we're talking a move anywhere from 11 to 18 months from now, I have plenty of time to really think this shyt thru further...
I'm not with the mothers of either kids, and I think the reality for me is, I've stayed in NC because this is where my kids are. I came back in 2019 because my oldest kids mom is from here. I like it here.....but I don't love it. I've always said that I would stay here because my kids are here, they need me close to them...
My perspective is changing slightly and I'm not sure if that's right or wrong. I get to see my kids but not always when I want to. They live with their moms. There have been plenty of times I've contemplated going to court but I've been thru enough court and spent enough money, and it's not like I don't get to see them at all. The mothers change plans when they want to, though...
I lived in Virginia Beach for two years 2017-2019 and fell in love with the city, it's the most endearing place I've ever lived, it fits me, it's my happy place. I can easily work from there with no issue, and the idea of being somewhere I truly want to be is appealing to me. And I'll admit, having distance away from these women is appealing too, as I still have emotions for both and there's still plenty of BS I'd rather not have to deal with seeing and talking to them daily...
My daughters are 6, soon-to-be 5 (October), and soon-to-be 2 (September). Me being local hasn't prevented either woman from having other men living with them and involved in my kids lives, and while that still hurts a bit, I've accepted that it's a fact of life, when two people aren't together, they may meet others who become part of the children's lives. So it is what it is. Me moving I would see them less, but I would work out how I could see them, maybe summers, birthdays, holidays. Work something out...
I don't know, I've hit a mental wall of doing what's best for me. I've always been physically and financially active with my girls, that won't change. If I have an opportunity to live somewhere I truly love and increase my earnings and net worth I'm not positive I should continue to overlook it...
I'm a lifetime renter to this point, and I also want to try homeownership, but I'm not interested in doing it here in NC where I don't envision myself in 10 years. But I'd try it in VB, a place I wanna be...
I can't go back to California, way too far from my kids. Same with NY. So it's between VB and Charlotte and I prefer The Beach...
This is a real mental and emotional thing for me right now, any and all advice from the parents on here is much appreciated!
I'm wrestling with a move that will put me 3 to 3½ hours from my children. I live in Raleigh, my two oldest daughters are here, my youngest daughter is in Fayetteville. Realistically, the earliest this move would happen is next June 2024, more likely December 2024 or early 2025. So we're talking a move anywhere from 11 to 18 months from now, I have plenty of time to really think this shyt thru further...
I'm not with the mothers of either kids, and I think the reality for me is, I've stayed in NC because this is where my kids are. I came back in 2019 because my oldest kids mom is from here. I like it here.....but I don't love it. I've always said that I would stay here because my kids are here, they need me close to them...
My perspective is changing slightly and I'm not sure if that's right or wrong. I get to see my kids but not always when I want to. They live with their moms. There have been plenty of times I've contemplated going to court but I've been thru enough court and spent enough money, and it's not like I don't get to see them at all. The mothers change plans when they want to, though...
I lived in Virginia Beach for two years 2017-2019 and fell in love with the city, it's the most endearing place I've ever lived, it fits me, it's my happy place. I can easily work from there with no issue, and the idea of being somewhere I truly want to be is appealing to me. And I'll admit, having distance away from these women is appealing too, as I still have emotions for both and there's still plenty of BS I'd rather not have to deal with seeing and talking to them daily...
My daughters are 6, soon-to-be 5 (October), and soon-to-be 2 (September). Me being local hasn't prevented either woman from having other men living with them and involved in my kids lives, and while that still hurts a bit, I've accepted that it's a fact of life, when two people aren't together, they may meet others who become part of the children's lives. So it is what it is. Me moving I would see them less, but I would work out how I could see them, maybe summers, birthdays, holidays. Work something out...
I don't know, I've hit a mental wall of doing what's best for me. I've always been physically and financially active with my girls, that won't change. If I have an opportunity to live somewhere I truly love and increase my earnings and net worth I'm not positive I should continue to overlook it...
I'm a lifetime renter to this point, and I also want to try homeownership, but I'm not interested in doing it here in NC where I don't envision myself in 10 years. But I'd try it in VB, a place I wanna be...
I can't go back to California, way too far from my kids. Same with NY. So it's between VB and Charlotte and I prefer The Beach...
This is a real mental and emotional thing for me right now, any and all advice from the parents on here is much appreciated!
, especially in her formative years (she’s 7, almost 8). Perhaps I’d be more comfortable with that arrangement if she was older though.