Fellas...can we talk about how averse to having the talk about "body image" women are?

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

I swear you can't even ALLUDE to the fact that some women are just letting themselves go without being called every name in the damn book or have them assume you don't know anything about biology or "sociological" pressures facing them.

I had someone call me an a$$hole for merely talking about how another mutual friend had been gaining weight to somewhat of a healthy degree and this same person tried to act like it was wrong for a man to even discuss that at ANY point, even though they agreed with me . This same person was even bringing up all this bullshyt about how "men can't talk to women about XYZ" as if I was the one who even brought the issue up to our friend or that I'd consider easing into a conversation with her about it. It was ridiculous. It was just illogical argument piled on top of the previous one.

They're ALWAYS the victim and its damn hard to even to get them to understand that its coming from a sincere place.
Please. Mature responses only...there are many aspects to weight gain ranging from genetic, diet and exercise, and even emotion.

I'm not completing saying its just a self control thing, but there is something to be said to the degree to which guys can be honest about the issue.

Not all of us are unrealistic misogynists or incompetent frat boys with a lack of understanding of the issues at hand.

I feel like they just try to push off ANY argument so that they can avoid having to address the uncomfortable aspects of weight and body shape because they think we're all looking for pencil thin women...and the funny thing is...i'm not even INTERESTED in this 3rd party...I was merely telling a friend how shes letting herself go!

 

[no.]

Girls are sensitive about their body image, especially with the media propagating unrealistic standards.

How can I explain... when a woman lets herself go, she's violating the social standards of beauty and she expects to be punished for that, especially by men.

Trust me, most girls who are fat know they are fat and they know men generally don't like fat girls, so the average male is pretty much a potential aggressor to their self-esteem. Of course, the man might not be viewing her negatively at all, but she's working under the (correct) assumption that most men will.

And that of course generates a hell of a lot of defensiveness derived from low self-esteem. People don't want to be reminded of their flaws, especially not by people who don't have to conform to the same standards as they do in order to be accepted. In short, the thought process goes more or less like this = ''Men are the ones rejecting fat girls. If they say something, it's because they're attacking them like we expect them to do.'' + ''Men don't know what is like to be a woman struggling with her weight. Men don't get to say shyt.''

 

[BillCosbyAteMyHomework]

I see where you're coming from. However, the same thing can be said for women trying to talk to men, or anyone trying to talk to a family member.

My little sister is having a very hard time with her weight, and my Dad and I have both tried to talk with her. It's a very sensitive issue for anyone.

Guy on guy seems easier. Guy friends can keep it 100 to the point of being harsh. There has to be a happy medium! Unfortunately, the amount of pressure that is put on everyone to look a certain way, or even just be healthy, causes such high amounts of self consciousness- people tend to want to pretend that no one else notices what they see in the mirror.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

@Malta

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Girls are sensitive about their body image, especially with the media propagating unrealistic standards.

How can I explain... when a woman lets herself go, she's violating the social standards of beauty and she expects to be punished for that, especially by men.

Trust me, most girls who are fat know they are fat and they know men generally don't like fat girls, so the average male is pretty much a potential aggressor to their self-esteem. Of course, the man might not be viewing her negatively at all, but she's working under the (correct) assumption that most men will.

And that of course generates a hell of a lot of defensiveness derived from low self-esteem. People don't want to be reminded of their flaws, especially not by people who haven't got to conform to the same standards as they do in order to be accepted. In short, the thought process goes more or less like this = ''Men are the ones rejecting fat girls. If they say something, it's because they're attacking them like we expect them do.'' + ''Men don't know what is like to be a woman struggling with her weight. Men don't get to say shyt.''

Yo i wasn't even trying to hurt any feelings...but girl needs an intervention...and shes smart as hell. Ivy league grad degrees etc. But the whole situation was RIDICULOUS.

I had someone defending this girl when she wasn't even there. I ain't even understand why she'd cape for her like that.

Its like they think ANY man with any OPINION on body image is THEREFORE making the worst case possible.

I'm not saying shes "violating societal rules"...its that SHES BIG AS HELL and it might become a problem for her.

Are men really not able to comment? Even with as much info as someone like me has about the situation?

 

[the cac mamba]

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

I see where you're coming from. However, the same thing can be said for women trying to talk to men, or anyone trying to talk to a family member.

My little sister is having a very hard time with her weight, and my Dad and I have both tried to talk with her. It's a very sensitive issue for anyone.

Guy on guy seems easier. Guy friends can keep it 100 to the point of being harsh. There has to be a happy medium! Unfortunately, the amount of pressure that is put on everyone to look a certain way, or even just be healthy, causes such high amounts of self consciousness- people tend to want to pretend that no one else notices what they see in the mirror.

I almost regret even saying anything cause whatever sociology classes ole' girl must have taken had her mind racing trying to come up with those tired ass answers about what men "dont know" and all this other shyt and how men "aren't aware of what women go through etc"

shyt is absolutely retarded.

Its like...damn. I was trying to look out for this person we both know but you're over here going to bat over someone whose not even here AND you agree with me.

 

[BillCosbyAteMyHomework]

I almost regret even saying anything cause whatever sociology classes ole' girl must have taken had her mind racing trying to come up with those tired ass answers about what men "dont know" and all this other shyt and how men "aren't aware of what women go through etc"

shyt is absolutely retarded.

Its like...damn. I was trying to look out for this person we both know but you're over here going to bat over someone whose not even here AND you agree with me.

How many people do you really know that can take constructive criticism no matter what the topic is about? Initial reaction is to get on the defense, and throw out whatever excuses come to mind.

 

[Sugar]

i called a home girl fat once

a week later she was on that "portion control, smart-eating" talk, trying to figure out her work-out schedule and shyt

sometimes u have to just tell someone they're getting fat. no sense in beating around the bush and indirectly enabling them becoming pudgy, lard-ass, couch potatoes. it is what it is

 

[no.]

Yo i wasn't even trying to hurt any feelings...but girl needs an intervention...and shes smart as hell. Ivy league grad degrees etc. But the whole situation was RIDICULOUS.

I had someone defending this girl when she wasn't even there. I ain't even understand why she'd cape for her like that.

Its like they think ANY man with any OPINION on body image is THEREFORE making the worst case possible.

I'm not saying shes "violating societal rules"...its that SHES BIG AS HELL and it might become a problem for her.

Are men really not able to comment? Even with as much info as someone like me has about the situation?

Of course you can comment. But not surprisingly, it was taken the wrong way by a woman trying to protect her chubby friend from a man she thought was making fun of her. That was likely what it was: protectiveness towards her friend. Even if you didn't mean it in an offensive way at all, she still went ''well, she is fat but don't say it, that's mean!'' because there usually are people talking about fat girls behind their backs, making fun of them.

You can comment but it's not, how can I put it... politically correct to do so. The politically correct thing to do is to be the blind-to-appearances guy who says beauty is actually inner beauty, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and yadda, yadda, yadda. Of course it's not true from an aesthetic point of view, but the world is filled with white lies for a reason. It's what people want to hear, it's what makes them feel good about themselves.

 

[Chris.B]

Girls are sensitive about their body image, especially with the media propagating unrealistic standards.

How can I explain... when a woman lets herself go, she's violating the social standards of beauty and she expects to be punished for that, especially by men.

Trust me, most girls who are fat know they are fat and they know men generally don't like fat girls, so the average male is pretty much a potential aggressor to their self-esteem. Of course, the man might not be viewing her negatively at all, but she's working under the (correct) assumption that most men will.

And that of course generates a hell of a lot of defensiveness derived from low self-esteem. People don't want to be reminded of their flaws, especially not by people who don't have to conform to the same standards as they do in order to be accepted. In short, the thought process goes more or less like this = ''Men are the ones rejecting fat girls. If they say something, it's because they're attacking them like we expect them to do.'' + ''Men don't know what is like to be a woman struggling with her weight. Men don't get to say shyt.''

Define unrealistic standard.

The average American female is fatter than the standard in the world, so please define your standard for me.

 

[BlvdBrawler]

Yo i wasn't even trying to hurt any feelings...but girl needs an intervention...and shes smart as hell. Ivy league grad degrees etc. But the whole situation was RIDICULOUS.

I had someone defending this girl when she wasn't even there. I ain't even understand why she'd cape for her like that.

Its like they think ANY man with any OPINION on body image is THEREFORE making the worst case possible.

I'm not saying shes "violating societal rules"...its that SHES BIG AS HELL and it might become a problem for her.

Are men really not able to comment? Even with as much info as someone like me has about the situation?

I hear you but at the same time it's not like she doesn't already know she's a fat fucc. If she wants to do something about it, she can at any time.

 

[BillCosbyAteMyHomework]

i called a home girl fat once

a week later she was on that "portion control, smart-eating" talk, trying to figure out her work-out schedule and shyt

sometimes u have to just tell someone they're getting fat. no sense in beating around the bush and indirectly enabling them becoming pudgy, lard-ass, couch potatoes. it is what it is

That happened to me back in the day

Did it hurt at first? Sure. But better believe the next day I was in the gym and lost a good amount of weight - and have kept it off since.

Some people will thrive in situations like that, others will just shrug it off and villainize the person that was telling the truth.

 

[no.]

Define unrealistic standard.

The average American female is fatter than the standard in the world, so please define your standard for me.

Dude, the standard I'm talking about -- the standard propagated by the media -- isn't the average by any means. It's the models on the covers of magazines. It's the thick pornstars with the humongous curves. Simply not being fat doesn't make you a beauty symbol that every little girl is gonna see on TV and try to emulate. Not being fat is just the beginning. People don't usually dream of being average.

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

Dude, the standard I'm talking about -- the standard propagated by the media -- isn't the average by any means. It's the models on the covers of magazines. It's the thick pornstars with the humongous curves. Simply not being fat doesn't make you a beauty symbol that every little girl is gonna see on TV and try to emulate. Not being fat is just the beginning. People don't usually dream of being average.

bruh...we're not even talking "thick" here...were talking OBESE.