Get Wrecked, Miss Monday but Come Up Smiling Tuesday Morning - OFFICIAL Super Bowl XLVIII MBM Thread

[Roaden Polynice]

Hallo Hallo and welcome all to the Official Super Bowl MBM thread.

My name is penfield. You may remember me from such threads as, "A Cac? Here?", "Richard Sherman: The Adventures of a NAN" and "This bytch Gave Me Haitian Bone Fever"

Now, I know what you're thinking, "This nikka can't make a Super Bowl thread"

Indeed. Nowhere is it stated that this is the official Super Bowl thread. I, frankly, wouldn't think of it. This thread is made specifically for the Coli's own Guardian MBM Intern, Jasper c*ntwit, who will be MBM-ing the game as it is played out in all it's sweaty, commercialized glory.

Jasper will be here on Sunday before the match to join you for the game.

As of right now he is on rumor assignment in Gelsenkirchen-Schalke currently residing in a tent on the sidewalk hoping to break the imminent news of a Julian Draxler to Arsenal transfer. He has been giving intermittent dispatches to the Guardian offices, his last letter has said he is currently out of money, his iphone is at one percent so he can't talk for long, and has resorted to befriending a prostitute for survival who's clientele consists of johns outside Veltins Arena.

Get home safe Jazza :ffs:

And let's hope for a good game on Sunday

 

[Roaden Polynice]

I'll start off commercial festivities though, where we have telephone OS voice mistress and Hollywood actress Scarlett Johannson sucking off soda bottles instead of lonely love letter copyrighters in the not too distant future.



Though why FOX banned this I'm not quite sure. Because they mentioned Coke and Pepsi in the ad? fukk off FOX and your childish bullshyt

 

[Roaden Polynice]

fukk me a SodaStream is expensive. $79 dollars on Amazon. And that's just the fukking starter kit

Who the fukk drinks that much soda? Might as well just drink a Coke recycle and be done with it.

 

[Roaden Polynice]

I don't get it. Matrix in 2014



I actually sorta liked this one. Sir Ben Kingsley...and those other guys.



OH and everyone's most hated interracial couple is back and the family has added another mulatto into the mix to painfully struggle with identity and acceptance well into adulthood making him a healthy and functional adult. I think. I dunno. It's just a cereal commercial I reckon.



Has anyone laughed yet? Still waiting for them laughs.



Haha sure.



Didn't Doritos do this already? What is it with Doritos and dudes licking other dudes fingers?



I'm starting to think that when Don Draper asked Peggy whether she thought monkeys could do advertising he was right.



I do like Reggie Watts, so this will probably be the best ad. Shame it's for Bud Light

 

[Roaden Polynice]

Terry Crews and the Muppets. Don't hate it, don't love it.



Stamos and Oikos, it's a super bowl staple, I ain't even mad



*shines OFT light* alright m8s let's get Bex's jewels out there

 

[DallasTxRep]

 

[LurkMoar]

its so lonely in here

 

[BonafideDefacto]

and this is why my soccer thread brehs are the GOAT
​

 

[MustafaSTL]

 

[Grams]

Cheerios still rocking the mixed raced family angle

 

[Roaden Polynice]

I reckon if that's your face this thread ain't for you son