This isn't a humble brag. I just need a safe space to talk about this
At least 5 years ago, from high school throughout college, I would hear "ewwww" from women at least 3 times a day. Words like "creep" "creepy" "ugly" and hysterical laughter were in my hallway soundtrack. That's why I always played music
It got to a point where I thought about suicide. Before high school, none of that shyt mattered. I was a big kid but I never knew ugliness was this much of a stand out characteristic. I guess it was my acne and skin discoloration
I started dating my Junior year of college. Dated some decent looking women but they were trash personality wise. Drug addicts, alcoholics, abusers, manipulators, the whole 9
After I graduated, I made it a point to improve my appearance. Strictly for my self esteem and self expression as I wanted to show up in the world positively and be taken seriously. I cleared my face up during the pandemic,
learned how to cut my hair, and started growing a beard
Fast forward to the present, I have a beard that's almost connected, my skin is reasonably clear, I'm well groomed, I smell nice, and I'm in the best shape of my life. I played football from high school through college. But I was an OLineman and very
even though I benched alot
Now instead of overhearing "eww" I regularly get "he's so handsome" "he's cute" "is he single?" And more shyt like this. Girls staring at me when I'm not looking at them, gazing in my eyes. Looking at me up and down, staring at my chest. This morning a patient at my job saw me and bit her lip. I'm not kidding
I used to think this type of attention would be the best thing ever. Now that I have it, I have alot of mixed feelings. Not gonna lie I have alot of trauma from what I went through before I graduated college. I would even get pranked by women. They would tell me their friend liked me, and eventually would reveal it to be for kicks. It was bad. More than I can even put in this post
Now it's the complete opposite. There's women who tempt me to the point where if I wasn't mentally strong, I would risk my job for the cheeks. I've been working on myself majorly since my last relationship last year. Not hoeing, just getting closer to God, self reflecting and improving myself mentally and physically. Also getting my finances right
It's nice to know I'm not the ugly freak I was 6 years ago. But I can't help but to have flashbacks to those days. And it makes me realize that none of this shyt matters. Not fukking on every girl who throws it at me, not having hoes and side pieces, I can't stand being hit on. Not that it doesn't make me feel good, but bytch I am a person
These women treat me like a piece of meat now
I just want a loyal, genuine, beautiful, God fearing woman with a sense of humor. That's it. Yall can have the bytches. You can't pay for a quality wife
I say all this to say, handsomegang is overrated. It's way easier to bang (don't ask me how) than uglygang. But we have our troubles too
TL/DR - going from ugly to handsome is like going from obese to DK Metcalf
You see the reality of human nature. Some might love the validation and fukk everything. But for the real nikkas, it's not what it's cracked up to be
