1) Pool hall jokes to use before you get there and just before you start playing ...
With regards to her not having no skills and balls flying off the table - "So do I need to go get a helmet or a cup?" or say something about "Are you Insured" -
Joke is 98.6% guaranteed laughter ...
2) If she really doesn't have skills, tell her "let met show you how to hold the stick" ....

..... mount behind

.... I mean get behind her and show her the proper technique ....
