Guy friend (former) tried to ruin my relationship!

[ddAriana]

Cliffs:
- I have a guy friend that told my boyfriend he is in love with me and he made out our friendship to be more than a friendship
- My man told me to block him so I blocked him
- BUT my man doesn't trust me right now and is mad I ever shared anything with the guy friend

I have had a guy friend for a few years now. We just talk but don't hang out. When I first met him he wanted to date but I said no and cut him off. Anyway he knows my whole family and a lot of my friends and everyone told me not to cut him off saying he was cool and he begged to be friends with me so I said OK fine and just stayed in touch with him. I was thinking everything was cool because he acts just normal. I've never even flirted with him. Anyway I treated him no different than the girls I talk to. Just a friend period I talk to about my problems and get advice.

Anyway so this is what happened. My boyfriend and him are friends. I never knew they were friends until just recently. So what happens is this guy friend tells my boyfriend that he is in love with me. First off my guy friend does not know who my boyfriend is. He just knew I had a boyfriend but it was none of his business to know anything about my man. So anyway he confesses to my boyfriend that he has been in love with me for years. He shows all the text messages we exchanged for the past few years (he is crazy! he never deleted any message I ever sent him!). Obviously I never sent him anything flirty and my boyfriend admitted that after reading the messages he saw I never did flirt but he still got mad. The former guy friend shows a screenshot he took of me talking to him on FaceTime. It was a normal FaceTime convo I was not even flirting with this man. I only talked to him on FaceTime like 1 time or 2 times and only because he randomly decided to video call me and then he secretly screenshot it. Anyway he spilled everything I ever confided in him to my boyfriend. He also shared photos he got off my social media on his phone.

I feel like he knew who my boyfriend was all along and is trying to destroy my happiness.

My boyfriend is mad at me now. He told me to block him which I did. But now my boyfriend doesn't trust me and thinks that I betrayed him. Please help what can I do to win my mans trust back. I need a male perspective on this.

 

[badboys11]

Cliffs:
- I have a guy friend that told my boyfriend he is in love with me and he made out our friendship to be more than a friendship
- My man told me to block him so I blocked him
- BUT my man doesn't trust me right now and is mad I ever shared anything with the guy friend

I have had a guy friend for a few years now. We just talk but don't hang out. When I first met him he wanted to date but I said no and cut him off. Anyway he knows my whole family and a lot of my friends and everyone told me not to cut him off saying he was cool and he begged to be friends with me so I said OK fine and just stayed in touch with him. I was thinking everything was cool because he acts just normal. I've never even flirted with him. Anyway I treated him no different than the girls I talk to. Just a friend period I talk to about my problems and get advice.

Anyway so this is what happened. My boyfriend and him are friends. I never knew they were friends until just recently. So what happens is this guy friend tells my boyfriend that he is in love with me. First off my guy friend does not know who my boyfriend is. He just knew I had a boyfriend but it was none of his business to know anything about my man. So anyway he confesses to my boyfriend that he has been in love with me for years. He shows all the text messages we exchanged for the past few years (he is crazy! he never deleted any message I ever sent him!). Obviously I never sent him anything flirty and my boyfriend admitted that after reading the messages he saw I never did flirt but he still got mad. The former guy friend shows a screenshot he took of me talking to him on FaceTime. It was a normal FaceTime convo I was not even flirting with this man. I only talked to him on FaceTime like 1 time or 2 times and only because he randomly decided to video call me and then he secretly screenshot it. Anyway he spilled everything I ever confided in him to my boyfriend. He also shared photos he got off my social media on his phone.

I feel like he knew who my boyfriend was all along and is trying to destroy my happiness.

My boyfriend is mad at me now. He told me to block him which I did. But now my boyfriend doesn't trust me and thinks that I betrayed him. Please help what can I do to win my mans trust back. I need a male perspective on this.

You made something simple complicated

 

[Matt504]

It might be better for you to cut all parties off and start fresh. Trust isn't something you just "win" back especially in this era.

Trying to win someone's trust after having done nothing wrong in the first place will only put you in a position to be mistreated by your boyfriend.

 

[Clay Puppington]

I have had a guy friend for a few years now. We just talk but don't hang out. When I first met him he wanted to date but I said no and cut him off. Anyway he knows my whole family and a lot of my friends and everyone told me not to cut him off saying he was cool and he begged to be friends with me so I said OK fine and just stayed in touch with him.

Ol boy begging for your friendship after you curved him is the reddest of flags

Hes looney

 

[ddAriana]

It might be better for you to cut all parties off and start fresh. Trust isn't something you just "win" back especially in this era.

Trying to win someone's trust after having done nothing wrong in the first place will only put you in a position to be mistreated by your boyfriend.

I been feeling like this. I never did anything wrong. My bf is jealous type. He said he is jealous this guy has 2 photos of me that he doesn't have even though they are just regular pics of just my face. And he said he is mad this guy texted me late and that was not cool with him even though none of my messages were ever flirty.

 

[L&HH]

Dude is a weirdo. If he was "begging" to be your friend that should have been a red-flag right there. With that said do people normally delete messages? The only time mine get deleted is when I switch phones.

 

[Matt504]

I been feeling like this. I never did anything wrong. My bf is jealous type. He said he is jealous this guy has 2 photos of me that he doesn't have even though they are just regular pics of just my face. And he said he is mad this guy texted me late and that was not cool with him even though none of my messages were ever flirty.

Yeah, it's time to have tough conversation with him.

 

[No..Money..Mo..Problems]

How old are you OP? If you over the age of 24 you gotta keep your circle tight. No man is gonna like his woman texting another nikka. Catching up with old friends is cool but having a member of the opposite sex as your buddy is a no no unless your boyfriend/girlfriend approves of it and knows them.

Hes mad cuz you kept it on the down low. You we're naive to think he wasn't tryna slide in you should of cut him off or let your dude know about him from the get go.

Having close friends of the opposite sex you text or call on the regular goes out the window after a certain age if you in a relationship. Your man is not in the wrong OP you gotta switch up how you move.

 

[Wildin]

Obviously I never sent him anything flirty and my boyfriend admitted that after reading the messages he saw I never did flirt but he still got mad.

My boyfriend is mad at me now. He told me to block him which I did. But now my boyfriend doesn't trust me and thinks that I betrayed him. Please help what can I do to win my mans trust back. I need a male perspective on this.

To quote you and @Matt504

Trust isn't a prize. It's not a game. Be an adult as hard as it may be, and sit him down and ask him if he can move past this so yall can continue your relationship.

If he read the texts and "admitted he didn't see you flirt" and he understands the situation as well as you have explained it to us, then what is there to be upset about?

Just sit him down. Explain to him the situation again for clarity, then ask him if he's ready right now to let it go and move forward. If not then the relationship is over. Don't give him an ultimatum, just ask him if he's ready to move on with it right now. If the answer is anything but yes. Then cut him off immediately. End the relationship right there.

To be honest it can be the best thing for you because relationships especially marriages have a lot tougher issues than this misunderstanding and if this is going to be a hassle you definitely don't want to experience more serious concerns/circumstances with this guy.

 

[Treblemaka]

This is why people shouldnt "friendzone" any one.

Dude been waiting to date/smash you the entire time. If you didnt want to do the same dont let him be your friend, leave his ass alone. The friendzone boys dont leave on their own, they just sit in the friendzone and let their feelings twist them up.

Guys that wanna smash/date almost never want to "just be friends"

And same thing for yall dudes out there, friendzoning women is just leaving a group of women out there to try to sabotage relationships you actually want.

 

[Malik1time]

1. You get notified if someone screenshot on FaceTime...so either u didn’t pay attention or you let it slide
2. I mean you never flirted back so you fine

 

[The_Sheff]

If you don't trust someone enough to let them know who your boyfriend is then you really don't consider them a friend. This whole situation is very strange.

My friends knew who my girl was right after it became official.

 

[Rice'N Beckford]

Prime example of women keeping your replacement around right in your face

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

OP must be young

 

[murksiderock]

I got a female best friend I been right with for over 6 years. She my ace, we both have shared feelings at different times (when one of us was unavailable) but never had any intimacy or nothing. But we know almost everything bout each other, share almost everything, and are both now in committed relationships. We have spent the night at each other's cribs many times, hung out in and outta state with each other...

Both of us acknowledge if things played out differently, we woulda tried a relationship, and if things organically shift in the future, we'd be open to it...

But neither of us would ever try to sabotage the other's relationship!

Ya potna was never ya man's if he go out like that, he always had ulterior motives. fukk him, and if your boyfriend can't get over his feelings and believe you, fukk him too...