I. The Spurs just obliterated a quality opponent in a Finals to an extent I have never seen in my life of watching basketball. In fact, they obliterated a quality opponent more impressively than other powerhouse teams have obliterated inferior opponents in the Finals. Amazing.
II. The Heat were pathetic. They looked like clumsy, hapless villains in a cliche movie. Straight stooge status. Tripping over their own feet, failing to corral loose balls (no boshmo), missing layups, not getting back on defense, out of control desperate drives to the basket... And a fukking five seconds call? [Silvio during Christopher's intervention on The Sopranos]Disgusting.[/]
III. Chip Engelland is cheating somehow. Period. Everyone on the fukking team is just stroking nothing-but-net 3pointers? I do not trust that shyt. They created some kind of advanced adderall drug they're slipping in the gatorade or some shyt.
IV. Greg Popovich invented a time machine, went back to 1708 and found Kawhi Leonard in Chesapeake, Virginia on the top ranked plantation in the country. 61% overall, 58% from 3, relentless defense, and humility that borders on autism? The man is an efficient robot super slave and there's no other possible explanation.
V. LeBron is an amazing talent and maybe we can finally appreciate him for who he is, instead of worrying about who he is never going to be. He has A-Rod tendencies. That 31-10-5 looks a lil' funny in da light when 17-8-1 came in like the first quarter. You can't play in 3 straight Finals games in which you had no chance of winning after halftime and be thought of as a leader, the GOAT, etc. He's a great player who is not as great as fans want him to be. That's fine.
VI. There's also something kind of gay about the nikka. He looks pouty and petulant when he's losing in big games. We watched him quit on his team in Cleveland during the playoffs and because he's so fukking good we eventually excused that. We watched him play scared against Dallas and we tried to shake that shyt off like a hangover. He spent a significant portion of last year's finals looking shook but he took off his dumb ass headband and Ray made that corner 3 and Manu and Kawhi missed freethrows and Dunc sold on a layup and the Heat won the title so we conveniently got to ignore that. But last night was the last straw. No more excuses from me. I watched this nikka with his Incredible Hulk build miss a horrible 3pointer, not even run back on defense, and immediately leave the game. In the NBA Finals. With half the 4th quarter left. So either he asked out, or Spo watched him quit on the court and yanked him. Then I watched him hug Timmy after the game with way too much enthusiasm. I mean, I understand good sportsmanship and all that, but damn. Bron is a funny style nikka. He's ultra talented, he has a freakish combination of size, bball IQ, and athleticism.... But he's funny style.
VII. Adam Silver looks like a sad, deformed penis morphed into a human being. And fukk that corny, contrived international flag shyt he pulled. Let the Spurs enjoy their fukking evisceration of the Heat on the biggest stage and save that kumbaya mass marketing shyt for an NBA Cares commercial, you awkward dikkhead.
VIII. I can't be the only one who was so bored by these three consecutive blowouts that I spent the whole 4th getting extra hype whenever Michael Beas got the rock, hoping he either scored 18 points in a row or committed comical turnovers or shot the ball over the backboard. I was starving for some entertainment, and he seemed like the most likely source.
IX. Chalmers and Norris Cole. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
X. Tell me Wade didn't really paint his toenails black. What kind of fukkboy shyt is that exactly? Offer that flabby fukk the vet minimum or let him kick rocks.
II. The Heat were pathetic. They looked like clumsy, hapless villains in a cliche movie. Straight stooge status. Tripping over their own feet, failing to corral loose balls (no boshmo), missing layups, not getting back on defense, out of control desperate drives to the basket... And a fukking five seconds call? [Silvio during Christopher's intervention on The Sopranos]Disgusting.[/]
III. Chip Engelland is cheating somehow. Period. Everyone on the fukking team is just stroking nothing-but-net 3pointers? I do not trust that shyt. They created some kind of advanced adderall drug they're slipping in the gatorade or some shyt.
IV. Greg Popovich invented a time machine, went back to 1708 and found Kawhi Leonard in Chesapeake, Virginia on the top ranked plantation in the country. 61% overall, 58% from 3, relentless defense, and humility that borders on autism? The man is an efficient robot super slave and there's no other possible explanation.
V. LeBron is an amazing talent and maybe we can finally appreciate him for who he is, instead of worrying about who he is never going to be. He has A-Rod tendencies. That 31-10-5 looks a lil' funny in da light when 17-8-1 came in like the first quarter. You can't play in 3 straight Finals games in which you had no chance of winning after halftime and be thought of as a leader, the GOAT, etc. He's a great player who is not as great as fans want him to be. That's fine.
VI. There's also something kind of gay about the nikka. He looks pouty and petulant when he's losing in big games. We watched him quit on his team in Cleveland during the playoffs and because he's so fukking good we eventually excused that. We watched him play scared against Dallas and we tried to shake that shyt off like a hangover. He spent a significant portion of last year's finals looking shook but he took off his dumb ass headband and Ray made that corner 3 and Manu and Kawhi missed freethrows and Dunc sold on a layup and the Heat won the title so we conveniently got to ignore that. But last night was the last straw. No more excuses from me. I watched this nikka with his Incredible Hulk build miss a horrible 3pointer, not even run back on defense, and immediately leave the game. In the NBA Finals. With half the 4th quarter left. So either he asked out, or Spo watched him quit on the court and yanked him. Then I watched him hug Timmy after the game with way too much enthusiasm. I mean, I understand good sportsmanship and all that, but damn. Bron is a funny style nikka. He's ultra talented, he has a freakish combination of size, bball IQ, and athleticism.... But he's funny style.
VII. Adam Silver looks like a sad, deformed penis morphed into a human being. And fukk that corny, contrived international flag shyt he pulled. Let the Spurs enjoy their fukking evisceration of the Heat on the biggest stage and save that kumbaya mass marketing shyt for an NBA Cares commercial, you awkward dikkhead.
VIII. I can't be the only one who was so bored by these three consecutive blowouts that I spent the whole 4th getting extra hype whenever Michael Beas got the rock, hoping he either scored 18 points in a row or committed comical turnovers or shot the ball over the backboard. I was starving for some entertainment, and he seemed like the most likely source.
IX. Chalmers and Norris Cole. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
X. Tell me Wade didn't really paint his toenails black. What kind of fukkboy shyt is that exactly? Offer that flabby fukk the vet minimum or let him kick rocks.
great post.
@ Kawhi being the top rated plantation prospect with autism. 
. Have you seen a team own another player like that? Over multiple teams? I swear if he ends up on the bulls or knicks or something this dude will get swept by THEM next year too...and sulk on the bench on some derek fisher 2004 shyt.
