Halp.
Took my wife and her best friend to the mall, told them I was gone sit in the car on some
..so I parked at the back of the parking lot where no other cars be at so I can just cool out and have some privacy..there's a bus stop like 20 feet from me..like 15 mins goes by and this big rotund white bytch walks past with her face mask on..Bytch had to be atleast 380 wit some heavy ass napes swanging back n forth..so I hit the
As she stares at me while walking past my car...she gone hit the
And then keep walking...so I'm sitting in the car like "don't do it Benjamin...don't do it
" But then my dikk started twitching so I had to get at her
..I walk over to her and she's sitting on the bus bench waiting for the bus..
Me:
Hey..
Her: (rocking back and forth while holding a bad of chili fritos)
Yes?
Me:
Can I sit down? Something I gotta tell you....
Her:
What is it?
Me:
When you walked past my car....umm...
...my dikk jumped.
Her:
Um. Ok?..
A old black lady standing behind the fat Bytch gone start yelling at me
Black lady:
GET YO PERVERTED ASS FROM ROUND HERE nikka TALKING BOUT YOUR dikk JUMPING nikka YOU SICK..YOU GOT 5 MINS TO GET CHA ASS FROM ROUND ME BEFORE I CALL MY NEPHEW UP HERE
Me: (stands up)
NO GRANNY NOOO
..IM SORRY..IM LEAVING..
I start to walk back to my car when I feel a big fat ass hand tap me on my shoulder .
Fat Bytch:
Are you single?
Me:
Walk wit me fat hoe..let's talk.
Fat Bytch:
My name is Tammy, please don't call me fat.
Me:
But ..your fat.
Fat Bytch:
Is that your car?
Me:
Yea..come check it out..shyt nice ain't it?
Fat Bytch:
Oh my gosh yes...does it have a.c?
Me:
Just sit down in the passenger seat, and don't touch nuffin
..try it out boo
She squeezes into the passenger door and then starts screaming "OOWWEEEE IM STUCK
MY LEG IS STUCK IT HURTSS
"..
right as she's screaming for help my wife texts me talking bout "we are heading out, pull the car around bae"...
So now I'm scared to death not knowing what to do..so I run over and grab fat hoes arm and start pulling..the folds in her back are jammed right in the door way and she ain't budging, people driving past us looking at us like
..then it hits me ..get da lotion
..I pop the trunk and pull out some vaseline and start rubbing it on her folds on her back so she can slide out..after a couple minutes she pops out and hits the concrete and starts screaming that she can't get up..I hop in the whip and swoop around to get wifey..as we leaving I drive past fat hoe and she still on the ground like
..we in the line waiting to get out the mall and fat hoe sees us and points at me like
While screaming..
Wife:
You know her?
Me:
You hungry? Let's go eat.
