How do you determine who you help vs. throwing em in the bushes?

[valet]

This is open ended question. It can helping homeless to poor people. Family member with drug or alcohol problems. (And of course those of you are Captain Save a Thots or no good niguhs.) I work with kids and I've tried to help all I can. But a lot them don't wanna change. But I try to help anyway (which in the end I'm now realizing is a waste of time. They still have to go to night school, summer school, or drop out all together). Some kids when I've stayed on their heads, they actually listen. While others, staying on their heads, did nothing. And they still end up failing. I'm now reevaluating myself on whether I'm wasting my time. Verses kids who need help but just need a xtra push.

 

[sanityovar8ted]

dont give up on trying to help kids better themselves but with grown ppl is u helping or enabling

 

[valet]

dont give up on trying to help kids better themselves but with grown ppl is u helping or enabling

I feel you. BUt to me it seems like some kids don't really want it. It's like why waste time on those who don't want it? I know that sounds cold. And goes against my nature. But at the same time, it's like neglecting those who are ready. That's what I've been thinking about lately but I could be wrong.

 

[sanityovar8ted]

I feel you. BUt to me it seems like some kids don't really want it. It's like why waste time on those who don't want it? I know that sounds cold. And goes against my nature. But at the same time, it's like neglecting those who are ready. That's what I've been thinking about lately but I could be wrong.

some kids dont know they want help cuz they literally have no positive role models in they family pushing them, u never know u might be the only person pushing them in the right direction those are the ones who need the most help. the ones who want the help just need direction.

 

[Archangel]

Always seek to help. You never know what kind of bad influences these kids have at home so you being the only positive thing/push in their lives can make the difference in the long run. Imagine one of those kids growing up and changing the world in a major way, they may look back and publicly thank you for your influence help. You never know what someone may become. Thats my philosophy.

 

[valet]

some kids dont know they want help cuz they literally have no positive role models in they family pushing them, u never know u might be the only person pushing them in the right direction those are the ones who need the most help. the ones who want the help just need direction.

I feel you and you make great points. I know young ladies who feel their mother don't love them (whether that's their perception or it's true). But at the same time, I don't how to balance letting them bump their heads. So I don't become an enabler. Verses stepping in and staying on them.

 

[sanityovar8ted]

I feel you and you make great points. I know young ladies who feel their mother don't love them (whether that's their perception or it's true). But at the same time, I don't how to balance letting them bump their heads. So I don't become an enabler. Verses stepping in and staying on them.

u gotta let them bump they heads or they will never learn, when they fall just extend a hand to help them up n dont judge(not saying u would). alot of youngsters are falling off cuz they dont have grandma(big moma) no more most grand mas are in they 30s now so alot of young ppl dont have that luxury we did growing up. i commend u for at least wanting to help cuz alot of ppl think these kids are a lost cause n they will be if nobody teaches them any differently

 

[Gutter Life Records]

I throw everyone in the bushes, now if they jump out then they deserve MY help... there was this brother on the train hitting up white folks for money for some type of team. So I just asked him, "do they have a website? I can PayPal you guys something, I don't carry cash", I said. He had this look like "why are your blowing up my spot?" When he got off the train, this white lady was like "that's a good one, PayPal, I have to remember that", her laugh was so fukking evil she could tell it bothered me.
Then a European woman chimed in, in broken English. "Maybe eff he has compootor for PayPal, he cun yoose pootor to find gewd jub ahn not beg me for monees"

...The European woman seemed more concerned than the white lady, but bottom line is my man is out here making blacks look bad. The little brehs actually selling candy to fund martial arts and sports programs might be affected by this guy's hustle.

What I took away from that experience today was that both white and black people were wrong and evil...morality doesn't have a skin hue, if someone is good you can sense it. Throw em to the bushes, and if they are able to jump out the bushes to ask again, they must really need it.

 

[FTBS]

I am all for helping whenever I can. The key thing to remember is that you are helping, not carrying. Help requires effort on the other person's behalf. If the other person isn't making an effort and at least trying you can't help them...you are only enabling at that point.