How do you tell someone you love that they smell like feces?

[thegreatwb]

I need some help. I love my mom to death. She lives in Michigan but visits me and my wife every year for her birthday. The past couple of years, she came down with a odor. The odor was a lot stronger last year than it was the year before. It literally smells like she took a dump in her pants and didn't clean it. We live in Texas so the heat multiplies the funk by 100.

Last year, she totally stunk up the guest room. It smelled like someone died in there and it took me 3 weeks to get the odor out. I tried throwing little hints like "I bought some extra towels in the bathroom" and "What kind of soap do you use so I can pick up some". She never gets the hints and never takes a shower. MY wife doesn't say anything about it but it drives me crazy.

She called me yesterday and says she wants to come down to visit for thanksgiving. I have made up every excuse in the book but she still wants to come. She was working a telemarketing job but they just let her go. She claims she doesn't know why but I'm sure it was because of her odor. What should I do? I'm not trying to eat my thanksgiving dinner with a gas mask on. Should I just come right and tell her that I need her to wash her ass if she comes? I have a newborn in the house and I don't want him to get sick.

 

[marcuz]

 

[Sweet James]

 

[thegreatwb]

I won't lie that it's kind of funny to talk about it but damn I wish it wasn't my mom. I remember when my wife had the baby and my mom came down for a couple days. I remember I was holding him and kept checking his diaper because I thought he shytted. His diaper was empty every time. I asked my wife why he smelled like that and she said "Well your mom was just holding him before she went to the bathroom. I just stood there like

 

[ugksam]

your momma stank

 

[Tha Snowman]

You're being a p*ssy.


See, honesty is easy.

 

[ugksam]

stinky mommy

 

[Thebadguy]

Does she have any health problems?

 

[ugksam]

your mammy is smelly

 

[thegreatwb]

Does she have any health problems?

She doesn't have any health problems that would prevent her from taking a bath. Here husband (not my father) died a few years ago and she never really got over it. I think that may be the reason but I'm not sure. I just need to know how I can get her to take a bath at least when she comes to visit.

 

[ugksam]

smell bad mama go away please

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

My ways:

• It smells like the goddess Aphrodite herself shat you out.
• Your stench is no longer a stench if it emanates from your body. Regardless of this, you're quite pungeant.
• Did you eat nothing but Cinnabon for a week? Because you smell like shyt, but it's actually not that bad! Still though, you smell like shyt.
• Your smell reminds me... do you wanna go to Coachella this year?

All I can think of.

 

[sm0ke]

I won't lie that it's kind of funny to talk about it but damn I wish it wasn't my mom. I remember when my wife had the baby and my mom came down for a couple days. I remember I was holding him and kept checking his diaper because I thought he shytted. His diaper was empty every time. I asked my wife why he smelled like that and she said "Well your mom was just holding him before she went to the bathroom. I just stood there like

lmaoooooooo i can imagine that scene

"so it's my mom that smells like shyt?"

 

[ugksam]

but for real your mom doesnt clean her ass and p*ssy. and cant hold a job at a call center.

u put your smelly mama on blast with this one.

 

[ugksam]

maybe you need to teach your mom how to wipe her ass.

just a thought