Cosign talking to a councillor.
To be honest the 1st thing you've got to do is not be a typical "man". You need to listen to the side of yourself that is upset, you need to cry and you need to let yourself be vulnerable if you're going to get help.
I'm in a similar position in my life where my friends circle is getting smaller and smaller and only a few loyal ones are left and I lost a friend last week who died at 34. She was healthy and just married and she just passed. I'm been pretty down, mix of her death and just the fact we're not going to be here forever.
But besides that there are little fixes: listen to a podcast or something on TV that will make you laugh. See loved ones and chop it up with them, read the Coli for a funny ass thread, save some P, get a passport and travel somewhere for cheap by yourself. Make a playlist of motivating music too, mine has a lot of Pac and DMX on it. Hit the gym or just take a walk somewhere with some music/podcasts
There is no easy way out, depression (which is what you have, there is no mistaking it or undermining it) is not a light switch. I've been in the same hole since 2007 when a my very close cousin took his life. Since then everyday is grey. Even coming back to my mum's crib reminds me of his death and the general mood, so I am pretty down now. But spending time with my mum is good
We all go through the shyts bro. Even nikkas that are rich, look how many of them use drugs or take their lives. You just need to know what it is you're dealing with and ensure you can maintain composure whilst you're going through it. Don't be embarrassed about it either
*Edit, quit weed and alcohol too. Does no good
