Be confident
No but seriously, a lot of the time incels have a lot more other problems than getting women. They are often broke, have undiagnosed mental illness, poor social skills in general and a lack of friends, and physically are unhealthy. They need to fix their money problems first, seek therapy to unpack their emotional burdens and learn how to function in unfamiliar and unpleasant situations, and they need to be willing to develop new interests and travel. Its many former incels that are married now because they met someone while on vacation.
The standard of attraction has changed because online dating has made competition more fierce than ever before. When men understand that they are competing against potentially hundreds of other men in their city for the attention of one woman, they have to work harder to stand out. Why would a woman date a man with no friends, no money, no storytelling or joke telling skills, less education, a worse dresser than the other men and also less traveled and in worse shape? They've got options and you need to achieve a baseline level of physical attractiveness for a woman to overlook some of your flaws. Its the reason why legitimately horrible men can at least get their foot in the door before the woman gets too irritated by him and dumps him.
No woman is trying to date a boring, cruel, mentally ill AND ugly man. That's too many Ls for them to accept especially when a more interesting and attractive ngga is only a few button presses away