I do't know if I would have the strenght not to move even a little bit
- Thread starter tmonster
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it is what it is, Apparently Mormon god likes to watch AND judgei dont kn..
what exactl..
Ricky Church
Stole Timberlake's Spaceship-Coupe
Even though religion in general baffles me, the Mormon religion is on a whole different level of wtf.
http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/2010/06/mormon-soaking.html
Friday, June 11, 2010
Mormon Soaking
I really really wish what I was about to say was made up. Really, I do because I like Mormons. I was unsure what it would be like to live in the Mormon mecca, aka Salt Lake City, but since moving here I'm very pleasantly surprised and happy to report that it's not as weird as you may think.
Mind you, not as is not to say not at all. There's these funny little things like having to buy real beer (more than 3.2% alcohol) at a state liquor store, everyone is married with children even if they're significantly younger than me, and there's a rather schizophrenic personality to the citizens: you're either Mo-Mo and happy-go-lucky or you ain't and you're damn fukking proud of it.
I digress. Mormon soaking.
So here it is: because Mormons are against pre-marital sex, many of the "good" Mormons make it to their twenties as virgins. Heaven help them, they're hell bent on staying a virigin. But...we all know sex feels really really good. Add to it that it's forbidden and now you have a group of hormonally-saturated, unfulfilled virginal, twenty-something-year-olds going off to college, namely Brigham Young University.
See where this is going? How do you have sex without having sex?
You have "soaking," that is, you put your dikk in her vagina but you don't move. Not even a single pump, rub, wiggle or jiggle. Nothing. You just lay there, soaking.
Like I said, I wish I was making this up.
I can't in good faith say I've ever experienced this phenomenon first hand because I'm A) not a BYU graduate and B) not fukking retarded. But, I have it from good sources (a few "Jack Mormons," also known as Mormons who were born and raised but no longer practicing, as well as an ex-communicated one).
There you have it folks. The solution to every religious believer's ultimate dilemna: how do you have sex without having sex. Mormon soaking.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Mormon Soaking
I really really wish what I was about to say was made up. Really, I do because I like Mormons. I was unsure what it would be like to live in the Mormon mecca, aka Salt Lake City, but since moving here I'm very pleasantly surprised and happy to report that it's not as weird as you may think.
Mind you, not as is not to say not at all. There's these funny little things like having to buy real beer (more than 3.2% alcohol) at a state liquor store, everyone is married with children even if they're significantly younger than me, and there's a rather schizophrenic personality to the citizens: you're either Mo-Mo and happy-go-lucky or you ain't and you're damn fukking proud of it.
I digress. Mormon soaking.
So here it is: because Mormons are against pre-marital sex, many of the "good" Mormons make it to their twenties as virgins. Heaven help them, they're hell bent on staying a virigin. But...we all know sex feels really really good. Add to it that it's forbidden and now you have a group of hormonally-saturated, unfulfilled virginal, twenty-something-year-olds going off to college, namely Brigham Young University.
See where this is going? How do you have sex without having sex?
You have "soaking," that is, you put your dikk in her vagina but you don't move. Not even a single pump, rub, wiggle or jiggle. Nothing. You just lay there, soaking.
Like I said, I wish I was making this up.
I can't in good faith say I've ever experienced this phenomenon first hand because I'm A) not a BYU graduate and B) not fukking retarded. But, I have it from good sources (a few "Jack Mormons," also known as Mormons who were born and raised but no longer practicing, as well as an ex-communicated one).
There you have it folks. The solution to every religious believer's ultimate dilemna: how do you have sex without having sex. Mormon soaking.
fukk outta here, im moving my shyt
aXiom
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