“I Love My Children With All My Heart But My Marriage Gets Priority Over Them.”

[ThrobbingHood]

paulcbrunson

Putting your spouse as first priority doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. Instead it means you love them so much that you’re willing to keep your priorities in the most effective order for your union and children. People have pushed back on me for years about this, and while I can see exceptions (for instance, in a blended family), I have not budged from this idea (and neither has my wife).​

One of the comments on this post was really interesting:

lpjames11​

This is clearly a gender issue. A Father will (statistically) prioritise the welfare of his wife. The Mother will (statistically) prioritise the welfare of her children. Yin and Yang, all things in equilibrium

And the comments from both women and men back up my point. Women will love their children unconditionally (as they should) whilst the marriage will tend to take the back seat, and rarely recovers after the children leave.

As opposed to men who will at least try and put their relationship first. But this could also cause conflict between spouses. (Lack of intimacy).

I could be wrong. What say you?

 

[DapMeUp!]

 

[ORDER_66]

she can do both...

 

[mr.africa]

Selfish babble

 

[3rdWorld]

Clown shyt

 

[Ricky Fontaine]

Whether you agree with this, it's an accepted truth.

With one caveat. I don't believe attentive fathers and husbands are intentionally prioritizing their wives/marriage over their children.

Men think logically so we have a "how can we do what's best for everybody involved" approach to relationships which involves a lot of compromise with our time and service with each family member.

On the other hand women tend to think more emotionally so they're priorities are based on what (and whom) they FEEL is important.

And who do you think they feel needs the most of their love and attention: The human being they've nourished within their own bodies and can mold into any image they please or some dude who society states is irreparably flawed and is ready replaceable? Lol

 

[GreenGhxst]

Naturally your marriage will need more nurturing than your children, no?

If you lose connection with your wife, household will be miserable because the energy is off

I would think the idea is to keep the unity tight among the logical and emotional leaders

For lack of a better word, and just some general assumptions

 

[MVike28]

This is a really nuanced convo brehs

A lot of hit dogs holler though. Especially the stay for the kids types.

You cannot possibly prosper if the marriage takes a back seat to the kids. This is from experience.

There has to be a healthy balance.

 

[sportscribe]

As opposed to men who will at least try and put their relationship first. But this could also cause conflict between spouses. (Lack of intimacy).

I could be wrong. What say you?

In a relationship, children come first - until they are out of the household imo.

Your duty as a parent is to take care of them to the best of your ability, but it doesn't mean you should eschew your marital duties. You also have to be intentional in your love life as well and let your significant other know as much as possible that you love and value them.

 

[Space Cowboy]

In a relationship, children come first - until they are out of the household imo.

Your duty as a parent is to take care of them to the best of your ability, but it doesn't mean you should eschew your marital duties. You also have to be intentional in your love life as well and let your significant other know as much as possible that you love and value them.

But many couples that based their life around their kids end up without a life once the kids are gone because the children were the center of the marriage.

 

[MVike28]

But many couples that based their life around their kids end up without a life once the kids are gone because the children were the center of the marriage.

I find that with mothers especially

Resentment sets in

You can do a lot for your kids but not at the expense of yourself

 

[maxamusa]

I'd be cool with this is the wife said it.....

coming from a man's mouth don't sound right

 

[Justise M]

Same concept on a plane when they tell you apply your oxygen mask first and then your children

If your marriage isn't the priority and becomes unhealthy, it will eventually trickle down to your kids

 

[Belize King]

As the great Michael Jeffery Jordan once said, “ F**k them kids!”

On a serious note. God first, Wife second, children third in that order. God will guide me to take care of my household and marriage. Once my Wife and household is taken care of and secure, the children will benefit.

 

[Belize King]

Brother @Uachet any words of wisdom?