O.T.I.S.
Veteran
What yall say?
I think I solved the 50/50 problem.
- Thread starter O.T.I.S.
- Start date
What yall say?
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
I really never looked at it as anything other than helping out the household.
You just do your part. If you staying at home then you take care of the house and most of the house things. Dudes will take care of the hard(er) shyt and bring in the income.
If we’re doing 50/50 and without kids, then we’re just putting money away or smartly trying to invest for the future of the family.
If a kid enters the picture, you discuss one parent staying at home. I would more than likely prefer my chick to stay at home. I just read statistics on the costs of a one income family compared to a 2 income family (both with kids) and the 2 income family have to make significantly more combined due to child care.
I would prefer if my lady just stay home until the kid is school age. Or we can discuss that when we get to that point. If she wants to work from home even better. My last ex did and she made more than me at the time.
Step-parents idk.. do you. Probably both should work just in case shyt doesn’t work out
I mean these debates are normally among single people dating. It doesn't really make sense in the context of marriage . And by the time you're married it's pretty much decided that you're one entity. If it's a child support situation, you don't have a choice you got to do whatever the judge says.
In fact, i still remember the origin of this debate was whether you paid for the first date or not.
As a side note this conversation actually meant a lot more from the perspective of white people ,than it did from the perspective of black people. I believe it started as a white convo, and eventually gravitated to the black community.
A lot of black people who are alive today have rose tinted glasses of an era which never really existed. Among Us in particular I don't think we ever had an era where just one person working was the norm. I've spoken to my grandparents and even my great grandparents. Even if Grandpa (or great grandpa) was working in a farm or a factory, grandma still held a job as a seamstress, or shopkeeper, or nanny, or cook or selling pies/produce. This is radically different than when white people have this debate about 50/50, because they have a conversation about history when they did have a period of time where one white man could work while the wife stayed at home making babies.
Hoshi_Toshi
Superstar
Ain’t no 50/50. Everybody is going 100/100. Bring your best to the relationship
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
Completely agree with all of the boldedI mean these debates are normally among single people dating. It doesn't really make sense in the context of marriage . And by the time you're married it's pretty much decided that you're one entity. If it's a child support situation, you don't have a choice you got to do whatever the judge says.
In fact, i still remember the origin of this debate was whether you paid for the first date or not.
As a side note this conversation actually meant a lot more from the perspective of white people ,than it did from the perspective of black people. I believe it started as a white convo, and eventually gravitated to the black community.
A lot of black people who are alive today have rose tinted glasses of an era which never really existed. Among Us in particular I don't think we ever had an era where just one person working was the norm. I've spoken to my grandparents and even my great grandparents. Even if Grandpa (or great grandpa) was working in a farm or a factory, grandma still held a job as a seamstress, or shopkeeper, or nanny, or cook or selling pies/produce. Thus is radically different than when white people have this debate about 50/50 because they have a conversation about history where they did have a period of time where one white man could work while the wife stayed at home making babies.
Thats basically what I was saying in the OP.
White Americas culture has unfortunately slid into ours after segregation, just as much ours into theirs.
My grandparents basically did what I was saying. There were periods when my grandmother worked and periods where she didn’t.
My grandfather was going to work regardless because he couldn’t sit still, all the way to 87 years old. House never fukked up, dinner never cooked, grass never not cut, etc. And my grandad did odd jobs on top of being a teacher and football coach.
So to me, that’s what a normal family looks like. There were issues but it was never over money
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O.T.I.S.
Veteran
Agree with this as well. I basically called it 50/50 because that’s what I hear the debates being about.
It actually should be labeled 100/100. And that’s in whatever way that’s needed to contribute to a household
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
That’s how I looked at it. It was contributing to the household.
Even though my ex and I had separate accounts, we were still going to join them when we got married and have our own lil accounts and a household/child accounts. We agreed on doing business and making money a lot though, I think that’s what we had in common. She just worshiped it.
But yes, I agree that you should be looking at yourself as a unit once you are married or at least been together for a significant amount of time.
Elim Garak
Veteran
There's no way to solve the issue because this is just a new thing that gold diggers do. No normal well adjusted person has an issue going 50/50.
Hoshi_Toshi
Superstar
I feel you, I’m not trying to fukk up your thread. I just really disagree with the idea of one person holding back so they don’t “get got”. Nothing will ever be completely even.
If we can’t get on the same page about finances and contributions up front then what happens when one of us has a sick parent and we have to care for them? That’s more money and time. Are you going to 50/50 me to death if I have to switch jobs to have more time to take care of my family?
The twitter people that have these convos are not rooted in reality.
Its not a real thing. No woman is telling a man she really wants to be with "I aint goin 50/50". Broads be out here paying all the bills while a nikka play COD all day.
There are very few jobs that will allow one person to singlehandedly support two adults, let alone a family.
Anybody living in the real world already knows all of this.
There are very few jobs that will allow one person to singlehandedly support two adults, let alone a family.
Anybody living in the real world already knows all of this.
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
Nah bro I completely agree with everything you wrote.
It should go BACK to being 100/100 like it was with a lot of black families back in the old days.
You’re not fukking up anything, great post. I’m only saying 50/50 to use something other people use to draw them in. 100/100 is all that you wrote... 100/100 is anything necessary to make your family strong.
Sauce Mane
Superstar
It doesn’t have to be 50/50 but both have to find a balance where each one contributes
Only way I’m paying for everything without any issues is if I’m making 200k+
But as long as we’re both making regular salaries that’s below 150k, we need to find a spot that works
Only way I’m paying for everything without any issues is if I’m making 200k+
But as long as we’re both making regular salaries that’s below 150k, we need to find a spot that works