This applies to both group and two person conversations. If you criticize things, talk negatively, or complain, people won’t like being around you. Negativity restricts the ability of other people to be happy. If you are preventing the happiness of others, they won’t like you. This can happen on a subconscious level, but be aware that you never score points with anyone by criticizing things (even if they completely agree with what you are saying). Losers are naturally critical/pessimistic for a number of reasons (in addition to the pain of having to live their pathetic, miserable lives). Many losers criticize because for them it makes easy conversation. It is easy to think of something to complain about. Losers are thus using it as a defensive mechanism to awkwardness or lack of conversational ammo. In this way, it helps them move conversations along and gives those who are scrambling for words something to say. The problem is that doing it hurts your overall success rate in terms of people liking you.
Losers who frequently use critical comments to contribute to conversations are doing so largely out of habit. Somewhere along the line they have discovered how easy it was to point out negative things other people can relate to. When you point out an obvious negative you don’t have to worry about other people missing your point – this is why I say it’s easy. For the critical speaker, there is an ill-perceived notion of success. They see other people react to their comment with agreement and falsely believe to be scoring points with the other person. In reality, they are contributing to the other person’s dislike of them. The illusion of success leads them to repeat this behavior and eventually a habit is formed.
An example would be perhaps you’re stuck in traffic and you say “god, I hate all this traffic we’re going to be late”. And the other person is like “yeah, I know”. The only thing you are doing is stating the obvious and dragging the other person down unnecessarily because you are pointing out a negative thing. When you depress people around you, they don’t associate being around you with being a good thing. People want to be around people who make them happy. You have to stop doing this by monitoring what you say and screening out the negative. Comment on good things instead. “I like this song”, “What an amazing day”, “They have the best ice cream there [pointing to ice cream store], or whatever. These types of comments will increase likability towards you.
