I'm not gay, but not sexually attracted to women anymore. I'm stuck in this weird purgatory

DrX

Coming For The Crown (Japanese Dreaming)
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Definition. Asexual - a fakkit that that don't like dikk.

That's my old definition of what an asexual is but it's not funny anymore because I've grown to become one. I'm still attracted to woman and want to court one, I just don't want to sleep with her.

Right not I don't get aroused sexually. I can turn on porn and feel nothing ......just watch it as if it was a sitcom and won't even get hard or excited. Maybe it's from all the fukked up shyt I consumed over the years. Once u seen a bytch gangbang by a group of midgets, there's not to much left to see after that, except the gay shyt.

I'm looking for something deeper. I want a real relationship with a woman. I want companionship. Basically a female best friend to go places and have conversations with. I rather talk then have sex or go on a adventurous trip then have sex with her.

I'm not sure how i got here mentally. I'm not sure if it's my depression issues or my obsession with my career. I put so much thought into perfecting my craft it's like I have no energy for anything or anybody else.

I don't feel human anymore. I feeling like a machine. I've lost alot of what makes a person human in the first place. My humanity is dying more everyday as I embark on this journey to chase my dreams.

I'm stuck because...that type of relationship don't exist if you're not a cuck. I'm not into that. I don't want to have to hold my girl hand while she's taking dikk from another man. That's the only way a platonic relationship would work. Ain't no Chick staying if she's not getting dikked down right.

So I'm trying to accept the fact that I'm probably going to die without ever having kids or a family.
 
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