is it bad that i never want to get married or have kids ?

[JMill782]

after seeing these #GMB stories and witnessing something similar in my family right now, i don't know if i really want to get married. i don't want to waste years of my life for somebody ungrateful when i can be out chilling. i don't want to fight for the custody of my kids after a divorce (my cousin going through that right now). i don't want to pay a chick's bills and give her money unless it's for the kids. and i just don't trust women that much nowadays.

i don't mind having a relationship with a woman but i don't know if i would be willing to take it to the next step. with kids situation, i don't want them to brought up in a bad environment where i can't get along with their mother. i also feel like i wouldn't be a great father.

 

[The BasedFather]

Get you a woman from overseas in some poverty country. They're loyal and don't know the game

 

[JMill782]

i don't know, it sounds weird bruhs

 

[Unknown Poster]

Why should you feel bad? Cause society tells you you have to get married and have kids?

I don't want to get married. Cause 1) I dont feel like i want to commit to one woman 2) i dont want to be paying out the ass if my marriage fails in alimony and end up sleeping in a racecar shaped bed in a hotel. I know friends that were married and divorced before they turned 25.

I dont want to have kids because 1) if i cant give them the best (a finacially stable two parent household, the best education, the best resources available so they can succeed, a nice little college fund so they aint swamped with student loans, etc) i would feel like I failed them. 2) im afraid personally that i might fukk up and my kids will resent me for it. The fukk i wannna have kids that hate me cause i missed an important event in their lives or something...lol.

I am honestly mortified by the amount of irresponsible men and women (mostly women) that have kids out of wedlock, dont take care of them, want to hang out bring strange men home and not take care of their kids while they go out cause "mommy has to have her own life too" and lowkey embarassed by them.

My family and my parents were strict and very hardcore when it came to taking care of us. They always told me and my siblings not to live with a gf or bf unless we were married. They always told me never have kids unless you are married. And never have kids you cant afford.

Needless to say id rather take their advice then just not.

 

[Koba St]

Not getting married is no big deal but the idea of leaving this earth without my seed is just that shyt will haunt me to my grave.

 

[godkiller]

after seeing these #GMB stories and witnessing something similar in my family right now, i don't know if i really want to get married. i don't want to waste years of my life for somebody ungrateful when i can be out chilling. i don't want to fight for the custody of my kids after a divorce (my cousin going through that right now). i don't want to pay a chick's bills and give her money unless it's for the kids. and i just don't trust women that much nowadays.

i don't mind having a relationship with a woman but i don't know if i would be willing to take it to the next step. with kids situation, i don't want them to brought up in a bad environment where i can't get along with their mother. i also feel like i wouldn't be a great father.

I'm not sure why you're taking obscure biased examples from an internet forum as a reason not to get married. There are plenty of marriages that work out. It's completely in your control and you'll know if a girl is marriage material when you meet (and live) with her.

 

[Bless't]

Not getting married is no big deal but the idea of leaving this earth without my seed is just that shyt will haunt me to my grave.

This.

I'm someone who most definitely wants to have children and provide a good life for them...

But marriage does scare me. I've seen too much in my lifetime I suppose. I'm predisposed to a negative viewpoint in that regard I guess.

Will I never though...?



Life...

 

[Ashley Banks]

I swear so many of these threads are made. Dude if you don't want to get married, don't. no one cares.

 

[Ashley Banks]

This.

I'm someone who most definitely wants to have children and provide a good life for them...

But marriage does scare me. I've seen too much in my lifetime I suppose. I'm predisposed to a negative viewpoint in that regard I guess.

Will I never though...?



Life...

so bringing another human into the world doesn't scare you but getting married does? I would honestly be skeptical of any man that wants to have children with me but doesn't want to marry me. That just proves he doesn't plan on sticking around.

 

[miranda]

get a vasectomy as soon as possible

 

[Bless't]

so bringing another human into the world doesn't scare you but getting married does? I would honestly be skeptical of any man that wants to have children with me but doesn't want to marry me. That just proves he doesn't plan on sticking around.

You don't know me.

 

[Ashley Banks]

You don't know me.

um I didn't say I did, that's why I used "he" instead of "you".

 

[Abstract83]

Im torn about it. I've always said I dont want kids and I dont wanna get married. Just never saw myself doing that. My girl wants both of those things even though I've told her from jump that I dont want neither. I told her this from the very beginning. I guess she stayed cause she'd figured I'd change my mind. Were still together we plan on moving in together. She's a really good woman. I couldnt ask for a better woman honestly. Depending on how things go I might reconsider. But i too fear all of these things that come with marriage.

I cant help but to think about alimony and child support etc. And shyt just not working out. Plus these bullshyt laws thats in place when it comes to kids and marriage. Some of this shyt is just a meal ticket. And to keep us broke and divided. I try not to think that way about my woman though. Because she dont resemble any of those qualities but u just never know. If only marraige was just an extended boyfriend girlfriend deep friendship and bond of love trust respect and loyalty then I wouldnt think twice about it.

I think about the competitiveness us black men and women have with each other. The constant battle between establishing dominance in the relationship. The man becoming a p*ssified version of himself and the woman becoming a control freak thats longing for being tamed. I dont want that situation at all. As long as the gender roles are in place and respected from both sides and that love is still there then I would reconsider. I guess I'll have to just see.

 

[blackestofpanthers]

You've accepted your life as a homosexual and will spend eternity in hell. At least you are content with it

 

[VFib]

I swear so many of these threads are made. Dude if you don't want to get married, don't. no one cares.

Exactly. Just make this clear upfront so the woman can decide whether or not they want to stay. There are women out there who feel the same way. Just find and be with her.