is the simp(ette) game a malignant version of Dominant-submissive dynamic??

[old_timer]

earlier i had a cringe-inducing conversation with a friend of mine who is a simp
i can't really wrap my head around it
trying to be serious- not typing out a story with 10 smiles

in a real dominant-submissive type relationship
the dominant partner (again, partner) looks out for the submissive's interests
they wouldn't lead that person to harm or destruction

just because a woman is submissive for me
i wouldn't push her to do things that might get her fired from her job
if i want her to hold a penny against the wall with her nose
i'm not starting that shyt when she's already two minutes late for work
why fukk up her career just for kicks??
even the sexual stuff
i wouldn't keep doing stuff they seriously don't want to do
you know what i'm saying??

but some people "milk" their simps so hard
like shearing a sheep so close it dies
or chopping down the tree to harvest the apples more quickly

even if a dude is submissive and "wants to serve"
wouldn't he have some self-preservation instinct to realize the situation is wrong??
that this woman is not a right fit?? that boundaries are being crossed??
cause there's a difference between "using" someone or accepting their service
versus just destroying them

or am i off track here??

 

[Colicat]

Demeaning someone and destroying any semblance of their original selves is not acceptable in any power dynamic...

Having more money does not mean you are better than anyone

If I know that someone is weaker physically, financially, emotionally, intellectually, I am not going to exploit those weakness... But folks are .... Gotta make sure you protect your neck

 

[Typo]

Can you give details? As a female I find some men are very into being submissive....many take it so EXTREMELY far that it makes me uncomfortable.
What's your friends particular kink- public humiliation? Findom? Cuckhold? Abuse? Give us something to work with

 

[bcrusaderw]

Why does the definition of submissive always change between the genders? Why can't a woman with a submissive man treat him the way you say you would treat a submissive woman?

 

[old_timer]

Can you give details? As a female I find some men are very into being submissive....many take it so EXTREMELY far that it makes me uncomfortable.
What's your friends particular kink- public humiliation? Findom? Cuckhold? Abuse? Give us something to work with

they don't even have a "relationship"
in the sense of zero sexual contact
her actual husband is in prison
maybe it's some weird form of humiliation and financial domination??

in last two weeks-
she totaled his vehicle while drunk/high
he got fired from his job (doing something stupid she pressured him to do)
$1000 cash wasted in casino
$2000 on non-refundable plane tickets that went unused
other stuff

now he has no job, no car, bank account nearly empty, maxed out credit card
it will take a year for him to dig out

at first i thought he was brainwashed like a cult victim
but when she is not around,, he is very clear-
he's through, not gonna do it anymore, not healthy, needs to break it off
but when she comes around
he just does whatever she asks

i mean, in general he doesn't seem "wimpy"
he has supervisor experience, had to be tough at work
fire people, not be a pushover, etc.
that's why i wonderd about malignant D/s angle??
or maybe it is just plain ol' domestic abuse??
yet...they don't have a relationship or live-in situation

@Coli @Panthera i can see small uses
life is filled with small manipulations
but his whole world is tore up now

@bcrusaderw
why answer my questions with questions??

how can a submissive or service orientd person
WHATEVER their gender
not exercise some regulation??
this man is now so overextended
it was crazy to be so reckless
i mean, he doesn't seem depressed or suicidal
so what's the deal??
is this like a (malignant) dominant-submissive situation??
or what is it??

 

[Colicat]

@old_timer I am hyper aware of imbalances and can't see myself capitalizing on even the smallest manipulations.... that internal guilt gets me every time

 

[Typo]

Ok, he is being abused...maybe even blackmailed. A person who is happy to be submissive does not tell people he wants out. That's a sad situation, I hope things turn around for him and that she gets some good karma.

 

[old_timer]

thanks for the prospectives
if someone has some speciifc insight then bump this up
otherwise i'll drop the dominant-submissive idea

i will consider the blackmail angle??
or if it is some kind of legal issue
otherwise i'll just treat him like a general addict of some kind
not give him cash or loan him anything

i offered to help with his job search
i'm taking him shopping for interview clothes tomorrow
probably best for him to get a new job asap