This is perfect. See if you can step back and realize that figuring your way out of this situation can do nothing but help you in the future. Because, as someone has already said, when it comes to life bringing the bullshyt hammer to smack you across the face with, what you're going through now is nothing. Hopefully this is the worst you have to go through in life, but lets keep it a buck, this is the bare minimum of problems the average person has.
Let's look at the good.
You are in school.
It is your final year.
You obviously do have multiple friends in your life.
Your grandparents are still alive and are well enough mentally to know who you are.
Your mother is still alive and is getting to see her only child finish college as long as you stay on the course.
Your brother(s) got their lives together, got out the hood, getting into the military, gunna make pops (who is still alive) proud even if he is lonely. (let him buy some p*ssy or a dog or get a beer drinking buddy)
Speaking of dogs.... this is the only thing I WILL judge you on. Cmon breh...
You feel all this pressure because you have all these things happening that can change your life for the positive. That's infinitely better than the inverse, which could be feeling pressure because you aren't doing shyt with your life and friends/family (if lucky enough to have them) are starting to slowly distance themselves from you.
I assume you are in your very very early 20s. Whole life in front of you and from what I can tell. Not one single major hurdle to overcome.
Cry if need be, but then wipe those shyts, get back to work, complete school, figure out the things in life that you truly enjoy and if those things can eventually earn you money. If not, keep doing them, but find some other way to earn money in the meantime.
And smack the fukk outta yourself for allowing a first world problem like an old dog being happy to get you down even a little bit.
If you didn't want to be judge, on God, you had to leave that part out.
All in all, when I was in my early 20s, I would have damn near murdered half the population to have a quarter of what you currently have on top of the possibilities/potential in front of you. Buck up and keep at it.
STOP BEING AFRAID OF SUCCESS!
STOP BEING AFRAID OF FAILURE!
STOP BEING AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN!
That's it breh. Be well. Because you will be well.
