Man... y'all ever done battle with a spider ?

[DirtyMoney]

I hate spiders.. Those MF's are the worst ever... I've been bitten by a snake and atleast MF snakes don't have 8 legs and are not terribly disgusting.

Today a gerbil sizes spider(exagerrating, more like it was the size of a credit card) ran up on me.. shyt had me trapped and nervous... but I was cleaning the crib and had the vacuum in hand.. I switched the vacuum on and put it on the spider and now that MF dead.

End of story.

 

[Orbital-Fetus]

i like spiders. i had one as a "pet" once.
in was on the balcony of my apartment and i would bring it bugs i found.
one day i put a wasp in it's web and the battle was epic but when it was all said and done, the spider was not about that wasp life.

when i find one in my crib i just put it outside and let it take care of all of the other b*stards i don't want around.

spiders are dope.

 

[Another Man]

I hate spiders.. Those MF's are the worst ever... I've been bitten by a snake and atleast MF snakes don't have 8 legs and are not terribly disgusting.

Today a gerbil sizes spider(exagerrating, more like it was the size of a credit card) ran up on me.. shyt had me trapped and nervous... but I was cleaning the crib and had the vacuum in hand.. I switched the vacuum on and put it on the spider and now that MF dead.

End of story.

The mental image of a spider having a nikka hemmed up in a corner like is

 

[Another Man]

i like spiders. i had one as a "pet" once.
in was on the balcony of my apartment and i would bring it bugs i found.
one day i put a wasp in it's web and the battle was epic but when it was all said and done, the spider was not about that wasp life.

when i find one in my crib i just put it outside and let it take care of all of the other b*stards i don't want around.

spiders are dope.

When I was a kid, I put a black cricket in a funnel web spider's nest. The spider came out it's hole and started biting at it but suddenly the cricket kicked a hole in the spider's abdomen, then tore itself out the web and bounced like

The spider just sat there moving real slow with some of its guts poking out then went back in it's hole. That cricket was a real one

 

[Mowgli]

When i was a wee lad living in the countrysides of the south i left my home to get on the schoolbus and one of these had made a web in the middle of my front door

I didnt like that shyt

I damn near walked into the web. and theres nothing worse then having a spider on you with that nasty web shyt you cant grab all over your face.

I looked him up and down and told him

I dont have time to do battle with you right now so im gonna give you this moment to setup shop elsewhere, like somewhere with cheaper real estate, because if you still on that door when i get home from school ???????

I thought about the spider from the time i got on the bus, to the time i got off the bus to walk home.

I went to the front door and who do i see chillin

backpack dropped....

Ive seen this before, ive done this before. Crittters, using intimidation tactics to claim turf on my property but even at 14 these idle threats were meaningless to me. Ive done battle with greater foes then arachnids. Ive taken possums, snakes, neighborhood bully dogs and fire ants to war. 1 spider?

I went to the side of the house and got the water hose. No we dont play fair. I walked right up on him and slapped his web, giving him one more chance to evict himself. He gave no fukks

BLAST \\

Direct contact. His body slapped against the door as his web reacted violently to the force of the hose.

He fell and was trying to get the water off his legs so he could start moving.

BLASTED AGAIN

Water hammered him against the door. He was motion less outside of some sluggish twitching movement from his legs. He was then captured in a small plastic cup where he laid slumped on the bottom tired and demoralized. The battle was over but his torture was just beginning.

At the end of my driveway there was a fire ant hill. I walked over to it, told them bytches to wake up and slapped the kufi off the top of the ant hill with my shoe.

Every ant in that bich was like ready to get involved with that action.

The spider had gotten his bearings and was beginning to move in the cup so i had to react fast

Dumped him in the ant hill.

I think he realized then why humans are at the top of the foodchain. Adaptibility and ingenuity. The spiqer somersaulted and cartwheeled all around that ant hill as them fire ants bit plugs out his ass. Within a minute he was motionless and was slowly being drug into a dungeon of ants to be consumed and forgotten by the world.

Nature realized that day that fearless teenagers are a force to be reckoned with. .

The moral of the story is that when you are given a chance to escape the clutches of death, dont allow pride and entitlement to send you to an early grave.

As I walked back into the house reflecting on my prey I thought.

WHO THE fukk TOLD THAT ANT HILL IT COULD BE AT THE END OF MY DRIVEWAY???

Another saga of Ant Wars had begun.......

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

When i was a wee lad living in the countrysides of the south i left my home to get on the schoolbus and one of these had made a web in the middle of my front door

I didnt like that shyt

I damn near walked into the web. and theres nothing worse then having a spider on you with that nasty web shyt you cant grab all over your face.

I looked him up and down and told him

I dont have time to do battle with you right now so im gonna give you this moment to setup shop elsewhere, like somewhere with cheaper real estate, because if you still on that door when i get home from school ???????

I thought about the spider from the time i got on the bus, to the time i got off the bus to come home.

I went to the front door and who do i see chillin

Ive seen this before, ive done this before. Crittters, using intimidation tactics to claim turf on my property but even at 14 these idle threats were meaningless to me. Ive done battle with greater foes then arachnids. Ive taken possums, snakes, neighborhood bully dogs and fire ants to war. 1 spider?

I went to the side of the house and got the water hose. No we dont play fair. I walked right up on him and slapped his web, giving him one more chance to evict himself. He gave no fukks

BLAST \\

Direct contact. His body slapped against the door as his web reacted violently to the force of the hose.

He fell and was trying to get the water off his legs so he could start moving.

BLASTED AGAIN

Water hammered him against the door. He was motion less outside of some movement from his legs. I then captured him in a little plastic cup. The battle was over but his torture was just beginning.

At the end of my driveway there was a fire ant hill. I walked over to it, told them bytches to wake up and slapped the kufi off the top of the ant hill with my shoe.

Every ant in that bich was like ready to get involved with that action.

The spider had gotten his bearings and was beginning to move in the cup so i had to react fast

Dumped him in the ant hill.

I think he realized then why humans are at the top of the foodchain. He somersaulted and cartwheeled all around that ant hill as them fire ants bit plugs out his ass. Within a minute he was motionless and was slowly being drug into a dungeon of ants to be consumed and forgotten by the world.

Nature realized that day that fearless teenagers are a force to be reckoned with. .

great story.

 

[General Mills]

I hate spiders. HATE THEM! But yall ever do battle with a flying roach?

Being from up north I had never heard of palmetto bugs/flying roaches. Only people who had roaches where I am from where people who kept a nasty house. I am living down south and get my first apt with my 1st wife. We had just signed the lease and moved our shyt in. I go into the bathroom in our bedroom and see this chilling on the shower wall.

I am sitting there like That roach is abnormally large. . . And we better not have a roach infestation. . May need to tell management. While I am sitting there pondering stupid shyt the roach take flight right at me!



No homo but I was shook. For one I was not use to seeing roaches and never seen one that big. Secondly I DID NOT KNOW THEY FLY!! I back up while throwing blows

I hit nothing but air. Roach was ducking them shyts. His unpredictable flight pattern had me confused. . And he was still advancing. Dancing around my fists. I steady am backing up until I am in our bedroom then I trip on our bed and flip ass over tea kettle and somersault over the bed and land on the other side on the floor. While I was combat rolling over the bed one of my legs clipped the lamp on the nightstand and that shyt came crashing down.

My girl comes running in the room like She was putting shyt away in the kitchen. .

Girl - What is wrong?? What happened??

Me - THE ROACH!! IT WAS FLYINGGGGG!!

Girl - ( she spots the roach which is now chilling on a wall ) nikka that is a palmetto bug. They actually live in the trees and yeah they can fly.

Me - Palmetto bug??

 

[Ooh Marty]

I had a battle with a baby tarantucula 2 nights ago while smoking

I'm not one of those scary girls ... I ain't scared to kill a fukkin spider !!
It crunched the minute I smashed it :mlaff:

 

[Dushane Hill]

When I was like 16, I was in my living room on the PC as normal.

All of a sudden I saw something in the corner of my eye move. I looked down and no word of a lie there was a spider with a leg span the size of a small book. Huge.

Instantly I jumped up and hopped to the other side of the room. The way this nikka ran across the couch, I aint seen nothing like it....nikka was super quick.

After that I called it a night and went to bed early, heard some scraping sounds above my head so I shone my phone light and see another motherfukker just chilling on my bedroom ceiling.

My room was vacated and living room had been taken over by this big ass mutant spider so I had no choice but to sleep on the kitchen floor.

Imagine these nikkas actually knew we as humans feared them, the dynamics of this planet could change drastically.

 

[NBA Youngbreh]

Spiders die erryday b

 

[Ronald McDonald]

saw something crawling across my wall in the dark last night. turned on the lights and that mf legit paused like . guess i either interrupted it in spinning its web or he knew what time it was cause after like 5 seconds of me just staring at it like like this mf legit tried to spiderman his way down the wall to escape.

couldnt help but at the struggle of this spider quickly trying to hop down the wall. shyt was barely even getting anywhere. too bad for him tho already had the napkins in hand

 

[thirdeye]

some of these posts in here are hilarious :'(

 

[Nomadum]

flying roaches and spiders?

 

[Canada Goose]

Not spiders, but I had my battles with Waterbugs, I was laying in my bed going to sleep when one of them crawled on my leg

Those Waterbugs are FAST so killing them takes effort.

 

[Kaypain]

I hate spiders. HATE THEM! But yall ever do battle with a flying roach?

Being from up north I had never heard of palmetto bugs/flying roaches. Only people who had roaches where I am from where people who kept a nasty house. I am living down south and get my first apt with my 1st wife. We had just signed the lease and moved our shyt in. I go into the bathroom in our bedroom and see this chilling on the shower wall.

I am sitting there like That roach is abnormally large. . . And we better not have a roach infestation. . May need to tell management. While I am sitting there pondering stupid shyt the roach take flight right at me!



No homo but I was shook. For one I was not use to seeing roaches and never seen one that big. Secondly I DID NOT KNOW THEY FLY!! I back up while throwing blows

I hit nothing but air. Roach was ducking them shyts. His unpredictable flight pattern had me confused. . And he was still advancing. Dancing around my fists. I steady am backing up until I am in our bedroom then I trip on our bed and flip ass over tea kettle and somersault over the bed and land on the other side on the floor. While I was combat rolling over the bed one of my legs clipped the lamp on the nightstand and that shyt came crashing down.

My girl comes running in the room like She was putting shyt away in the kitchen. .

Girl - What is wrong?? What happened??

Me - THE ROACH!! IT WAS FLYINGGGGG!!

Girl - ( she spots the roach which is now chilling on a wall ) nikka that is a palmetto bug. They actually live in the trees and yeah they can fly.

Me - Palmetto bug??

They are stI'll cockroaches do I wouldn't give a fukk what it's called that bytch gotta die