Marriage first or kids first

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A lot of people disagree.

But I’ve reached the age where I’m seeing a lot of divorces precisely for the reason he described.

:hubie:

 
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like pretty much everything in a healthy life, it's a balance of all things. while i'm not entirely into this 'first vs second' mentality, as someone who is 40, married for ~16 years, and also with four kids, I've seen plenty of my peer marriages just lose all inertia cuz the parents overfocus on "kid shyt" and lose their identity a married couple. on the flip side, i've also witnessed plenty of kids get left on the sidelines while mom and dad refuse to grow up and acknowledge that one of the core foundational responsibilities is ensuring a stable home life for their kids.

both lead to pretty bad outcomes IMO. that said, the "strong marriages raise strong kids" is something I can cosign.
 

Commish

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Marriage/spouse first, then children. There is no way I would marry someone who has me secondary or tertiary in the pecking order!
 
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Geoff
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Oh he’s one of them smart níggas…

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Sleepy Floyd

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Redpill babble. Why are the marriage and the kids two separate entities? That's why the relationship failed. The kids are part of the marriage. It's not an either/or thing.
 

Yagirlcheatinonus

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The thing that people forget about relationships in general is you want to enjoy your life with your partner. Often times in those situations where they stay together for the kids there’s infidelity. I say you get married love each other before you start a family.

What is love? Love is loyalty and sacrifice. Before you commit to another person you must love yourself and love comes from within. Focus on you be the best you so you can attract similar to you. You’ll enjoy your relationship when it’s with someone you can enjoy life with.
 

CrushedGroove

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Put God first and find a woman that does the same. This way you have the same foundation and have an understanding of what each other's roles will be. What sacrifice and submission looks like.

You have someone committed to learn you, which helps you learn yourself. You are also the light for her blindspots.

Then imagine your kids seeing how healthy conflict, compassion, and unconditional love looks to model after.
 
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