"Men should pay all the bills" is all about pride and emotion, not practicality or logic.

[dj-method-x]

I know this subject gets rehashed a lot here and over social media, but I've never heard anyone that thinks men should pay all the bills address my main issue with the viewpoint that men should handle all the finances or "omg he's not a man".

The median salary of the average black man in America in 2009 was a whopping 23k. So let's say in 2021 that average doubled to 40k.

Why on earth would a rational thinking couple want to limit their family to a 40k lifestyle because "men should pay all the bills", when if the woman would contribute financially, they would now be living a lifestyle of 40k + whatever the woman is bringing in? Doesn't it make more sense to put the finances together so that you both can live in a better living situation? Or are we saying that we'd rather live in a smaller house or worse neighborhood, just so the woman doesn't have to contribute financially? How does that make ANY sense?

Now, if the woman was quitting her job to take care of home and kids, I completely understand the notion of men paying all the bills. But how many black households are actually in a financial position for the woman to not have to work? Even if they were in a financial position where the woman didn't have to work, how many women in this position are actually choosing not to work?

I firmly believe that men paying all the bills is an outright fantasy in the black community that ignores financial realities.

Please don't turn this thread into a self validation post fest where we pump our chest, brag about our salaries, and what we're doing for our significant others. I want someone to address the bolded above.

 

[Sidley]

I agree with you OP, but men have egos. And when money gets tight, women get emotional and hit below the belt. They’ll tear a man down saying shyt like “stop spending all our money” or even worse “stop spending all my money” (if she’s the only one working)

Suddenly she’s the man of the house and she’ll resent you. It’s a vicious cycle. To prevent that situation, men would rather just work hard, budget right & make sure the bills are always taken care of.

These hoes stay on the feminist shyt, but love working part time while their man pays all the bills & drives her everywhere.

 

[mamba]

A lot of contemporary Black women have been trained to be selfish.

They only want to spend the money they make on their wants.

Husband’s money should carry all the needs of the family from their perspective.

It’s just reality. Either sign up for that as a Black man or look elsewhere for a different situation.

 

[Piff Perkins]

This is a newer generation thing. Dual incomes have been used to lift families into the middle class, or even upper class. One of the reasons I clown Kevin Samuels and his stans is that anyone who is successful knows that most successful men in their 30s-50s are married to a successful woman who makes good money too. That dual income is what gets them into the country clubs, gets their children into Harvard, etc.

You have to take this into account when listening to young people talk money: they have no concept of it outside of rap videos, movies, and IG. They come from broken homes, their friends are bums, and they’re bums. They literally don’t know anyone who is truly successful. Which is why they peddle nonsense like this, or that “working a 9-5 won’t get you anywhere.” Meanwhile lawyers, engineers, accountants etc are working 9-5 and making six figures. These women are idiots. If you’re gonna get involved just fukk them and that’s it. Find someone intelligent to date.

 

[SNG]

Black folks continue to be looking funny outchea when it comes to who should be doing what in a relationship but that is all by design. But what's interesting with black women is they keep this smoke for black men and act totally different with white men. Because they know damn well they don't want his family saying she's lazy and trying to take their sons money. Black men act different too when they see that a white women's father around they feel the need to show and prove they are worthy.

 

[old boy]

"patriarchal gender roles are a social construct. relationships should be 50/50 with all things equal"


"i want chivalry from a real man. only a dusty nikka would think bills should be 50/50 with all things equal"

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

Well considering this society is geared specifically that a family needs two incomes

The women of the time didnt clearly think their situation through. Now everyone's miserable

 

[MikelArteta]

I remember dating a chick and she expected me to pay for everything even though she was making like 90k

 

[BunchePark]

Bruh just got off the line with a client nikka trying to get 10k, makes 20K a year. He having a 3rd kid if his girl aint working she need to be.

 

[AsTheWorldBurns]

A lot of contemporary Black women have been trained to be selfish.

They only want to spend the money they make on their wants.

Husband’s money should carry all the needs of the family from their perspective.

It’s just reality. Either sign up for that as a Black man or look elsewhere for a different situation.

That sounds much more like traditional women to me

 

[Turbulent]

Not that i agree or disagree but maybe the logic from the woman's perspective is so that the man feels more invested in the family and also to motivate the man to make more.

 

[Gold]

For a topic that ya'll discuss literally everyday here... I would assume that all of you guys either pay all the bills... or are surrounded by women who are constantly trying to force you to pay all the bills.

If a woman wants the man to pay all the bills, and he is ok with it, then who cares?
If a man wants the woman to pay all the bills, and she is ok with it, then who cares?

Ya'll gonna write thesis papers on paying bills that you've never paid in your entire life.

Its weird.

If you dont wanna pay a womans bills... don't. There is nothing she can do to force you to.

 

[Toe Jay Simpson]

I was just speaking to a young cat about that. Lil nikka went half in on a car with his girl and she got mad at him and took the car.

If that was his car that wouldn’t have happened.

I know another cat that had his girl move her mama up in the spot against his wishes. If that was his house that wouldn’t have happened. Money talks. Whatever you having her pay, just understand that’s hers too, so don’t complain when she makes decisions on it

 

[Wild self]

A lot of contemporary Black women have been trained to be selfish.

They only want to spend the money they make on their wants.

Husband’s money should carry all the needs of the family from their perspective.

It’s just reality. Either sign up for that as a Black man or look elsewhere for a different situation.

That type of shyt, is why STERILIZATION is going to become normal. On top of a lot of bloodlines being wiped out.

 

[Silver Surfer]

I was around a female last year that had the mindset that the guy should pay all the bills....but seemed like hoe babble because she didn't have a guy in the house......

Funny enough she has 4 kids by broke nikkas