MAN! The physically impossible mystery piss puddle in CSM’s office, the water charge booby trap pranks, the ol’ tried and true catch gonorrhea from a girl down the hall get tested for it and go get it from her again cause the p*ssy was “too good”, the cocaine binge and AWOL, the run over 1SG’s golf cart and stay passed out for the whole troop to find you passed out at the wheel, the run over a child in your friends truck then try to blame it on him cause you were drunk, the child porn on a secure battalion laptop, the kill your wife after PT then show up for work like nothing happened, the get your 1sg pregnant then cheat on her with a neighboring company’s XO, the make your civilian husband watch 4 black subordinates gangbang you then move in while the civilian husband pays all the bills, the lose all your money trying to rescue a philippino human trafficking victim but she empties your accounts and runs of with her pimp after you’ve married her, the beat your wife and leave her for your female soldier then beat her too, the get date raped by two Civilian lesbians and wake up on a park bench with an anal prolapse, it goes on, the ol’ get left to die by your best friend with your legs stuck under a Boulder because he’s made he can’t bum a cigarette from you, the find a random fleshlight on the back of C-130 and use it for a year after spraying it with windex once, the buy a new Escalade and Exotic vacation with the squadron medical budget, the move your family into the barracks to save money even though you would make more money outside the barracks and get caught because you beat tour wife, the nose dive off the top of the barracks stairwell hitting every handrail on the way down to get out of a deployment, the sell your soldier highly addictive drugs even though he’s a burglar to pay his bills then push for the highest punishment when he fails a piss test, the have a running shootout with the Afghan police because you got too drunk at a local provincial leadership meeting Then lie and say it was drive by at while covertly collecting human intelligence after your team get shot up... it never stops, it just gets worse. No black soldiers were involved in any of that shyt by the way.