DetroitEWarren
Veteran
I'm a passionate person, not an emotional one, but this shyt broke that barrier between the 2. I can't move without thoughts just overwhelming my brain. I get off the couch and take 3 steps and stop to think more. This shyt hits different man. My daughter is comforting me. Lil lady is so mentally strong man, she's sad but not shaken. She barely knew her mom's so I can understand it, but for her to be able to hold me down is a blessing.
I've never lost anyone this close to me. I've cried over friends but the thought process didn't sit in my head for hours and limit my ability to function. I spent years worth of time around my BM. She had hella flaws and people would consider her a deadbeat but my BM was never a bad person. My BM didn't fukk anybody over but herself and now my mind is stuck at "I coulda done more to push her in another direction". That thought won't leave my mind. But I tried, multiple times to talk to her about drinking all day everyday, bouncing from house to house, fukkin with hoe ass nikkas ect. I scooped her up when she had issues wherever she was at. But every time I addressed her lifestyle she would deny it was a problem. Not to go in on her but she hasn't had a job since like 2012. Only had 2 in her life. Didn't care about making money or living an adult life. She was cute and had a nice rack but wasn't smart enough to use that for high quality nikkas. Stumbling drunk was her daily goal and she hit that goal daily with bum ass nikkas.
Human intuition is crazy because I would hear from her at least every month or 2 months at max. I haven't talked to her in about 5 months and this fukkin morning I got on messenger and thought about her.
I CALLED HER ON ALL 3 OF HER FACEBOOK PAGES THIS MORNING MAN.
She doesn't have a phone so if she's not on WIFI it's hard to get in contact with her. I called all 3, one of the rang but no answer. I messaged all 3 like "I ain't talked to you in months, are you ok"?
Didn't think nothing of it. I'm chilling at my mom's house around 8, was getting ready to go home then moms emphatically said we gotta go get my daughter. She wouldn't tell me why, so I called her. Lil lady wasn't emotional at all, but when she said "my grandma said they can't wake her up" my heart dropped, but I still didn't know for sure cause moms ain't tell me and an OD doesn't mean death, but I knew bro.
I'm on denial the whole ride to get my daughter, first time I've cried in years, but I didn't know so I'm still holding out hope on some "the ambulance coulda got there in time right"? In reality she was already gone and at the hospital. My daughter knew too, but didn't wanna say it over the phone.
I'm at my mom's right now and I'm fukking stuck man. Idk how to feel. Idk what to think. I'm in purgatory right now brehs.
Pray for ya boy. RIP Gina. Good soul but flawed beyond repair.
It wasn't a surprise because I knew I could get that call one day, but you are never prepared for that shyt.
This shyt hits different brehs. For real.
I've lost family that wasn't every single day family, I've lost friends that were but were living foul so it wasn't a shock. I never lost anybody I was with on a daily basis for years and still had constant contact with.
This feeling is new to me.
I'm so fukked up right now man
I've never lost anyone this close to me. I've cried over friends but the thought process didn't sit in my head for hours and limit my ability to function. I spent years worth of time around my BM. She had hella flaws and people would consider her a deadbeat but my BM was never a bad person. My BM didn't fukk anybody over but herself and now my mind is stuck at "I coulda done more to push her in another direction". That thought won't leave my mind. But I tried, multiple times to talk to her about drinking all day everyday, bouncing from house to house, fukkin with hoe ass nikkas ect. I scooped her up when she had issues wherever she was at. But every time I addressed her lifestyle she would deny it was a problem. Not to go in on her but she hasn't had a job since like 2012. Only had 2 in her life. Didn't care about making money or living an adult life. She was cute and had a nice rack but wasn't smart enough to use that for high quality nikkas. Stumbling drunk was her daily goal and she hit that goal daily with bum ass nikkas.
Human intuition is crazy because I would hear from her at least every month or 2 months at max. I haven't talked to her in about 5 months and this fukkin morning I got on messenger and thought about her.
I CALLED HER ON ALL 3 OF HER FACEBOOK PAGES THIS MORNING MAN.
She doesn't have a phone so if she's not on WIFI it's hard to get in contact with her. I called all 3, one of the rang but no answer. I messaged all 3 like "I ain't talked to you in months, are you ok"?
Didn't think nothing of it. I'm chilling at my mom's house around 8, was getting ready to go home then moms emphatically said we gotta go get my daughter. She wouldn't tell me why, so I called her. Lil lady wasn't emotional at all, but when she said "my grandma said they can't wake her up" my heart dropped, but I still didn't know for sure cause moms ain't tell me and an OD doesn't mean death, but I knew bro.
I'm on denial the whole ride to get my daughter, first time I've cried in years, but I didn't know so I'm still holding out hope on some "the ambulance coulda got there in time right"? In reality she was already gone and at the hospital. My daughter knew too, but didn't wanna say it over the phone.
I'm at my mom's right now and I'm fukking stuck man. Idk how to feel. Idk what to think. I'm in purgatory right now brehs.
Pray for ya boy. RIP Gina. Good soul but flawed beyond repair.
It wasn't a surprise because I knew I could get that call one day, but you are never prepared for that shyt.
This shyt hits different brehs. For real.
I've lost family that wasn't every single day family, I've lost friends that were but were living foul so it wasn't a shock. I never lost anybody I was with on a daily basis for years and still had constant contact with.
This feeling is new to me.
I'm so fukked up right now man
rn
