My girl broke my heart..

[Giselle]

That time of the month?

And they may have been on and off but they were still "together" and if there's another dude in the picture it means she was also unfaithful.

And she found out OP has been cheating in April, she is not mentally nor emotionally ready for another relationship. The new dude is just a rebound.

I wouldn't be surprised if she cheats on the new dude with the ex, like many women do with exes lingering in the background.

She wasn't cheating because they were broken up.

In on and off relationships, there is no rebound for the person who called it off. She called it off for good b/c she found someone better during one of their "off" periods, if she hadn't, then she'd still be in that on and off relationship with his cheating ass.

& no, my period isn't supposed to start until next week

 

[lamont614]

Lol. Why do guys think like this? Just cuz she's fukking you don't mean she wants you unless personally your girl is that type to not have sex unless in a deeply commuted relationship. A lot of girls say that but that's a cover up for their rep. She probably done and still fukking till something better comes along. Y'all need more female friends.

Well I be damned

 

[lamont614]

whatever you do, don't think about her fukking the other nikka.

y'all ruthless

 

[SheWantTheD]

She wasn't cheating because they were broken up.

In on and off relationships, there is no rebound for the person who called it off. She called it off for good b/c she found someone better during one of their "off" periods, if she hadn't, then she'd still be in that on and off relationship with his cheating ass.

& no, my period isn't supposed to start until next week

I can give you the fact that they weren't together but you don't know what a rebound is. Doesn't matter who ended the relationship. A rebound is what someone gets after getting out of a relationship for the attention, emotional support, sex etc.

She isn't over her ex. She found out two months ago, and like I said before she is not mentally nor emotionally ready for another relationship. More chances than not her and the new dude won't last.

Her best option would to be to ride solo for a while, heal, work on herself etc before getting into another relationship. All that baggage from OP cheating and whatever else since the relationship was on and off is still there and she's going to push it all on the new dude and he doesn't deserve that. The fact that they were on and off even makes it more likely for her to step out of her relationship with the new dude and mess around with her ex.

We don't even know if she's in an exclusive, committed relationship with the new guy.

 

[Ol’Otis]

 

[ORDER_66]

Damn man.. this shyt sucks. Me & her were on & off for 3 years . Ima be real, i wasnt no saint. I cheated & the last time i cheated was a year ago but she had found out in april. So we broke up, fast foward july and we got back together last week then yesterday she text me out of the blue saying she cant be with me no more & that its somebody else.. i was so hurt i drove to her house it she made it clear it was over. Damn im hurt brehs..

You gotta stay faithful breh....

 

[Giselle]

I can give you the fact that they weren't together but you don't know what a rebound is. Doesn't matter who ended the relationship. A rebound is what someone gets after getting out of a relationship for the attention, emotional support, sex etc.

She isn't over her ex. She found out two months ago, and like I said before she is not mentally nor emotionally ready for another relationship. More chances than not her and the new dude won't last.

Her best option would to be to ride solo for a while, heal, work on herself etc before getting into another relationship. All that baggage from OP cheating and whatever else since the relationship was on and off is still there and she's going to push it all on the new dude and he doesn't deserve that. The fact that they were on and off even makes it more likely for her to step out of her relationship with the new dude and mess around with her ex.

We don't even know if she's in an exclusive, committed relationship with the new guy.

I do know what a rebound is. A person people use to try to get over their ex. You don't understand how on and off relationships work/end. In on and off relationships, the ex is the rebound. They go back to the ex b/c they want "the attention, companionship, emotional support ect" from someone after getting out of their relationship. The cycle of an on and off relationship continues until the person who breaks things off finds someone better. She found better, which is why she left him for good this time. She has been detached from the cheater since one of her last breaks,. The new guy isn't a rebound, he is the new guy.


If you go by what you're saying, then that means every new relationship is a rebound, but that's not true. It doesn't take everyone years to move on. I know people who were in decade long relationships with people, never married their partner, finally ended it and wound up being happily married to their new partner within a few months to a year.

 

[SheWantTheD]

I do know what a rebound is. A person people use to try to get over their ex. You don't understand how on and off relationships work/end. In on and off relationships, the ex is the rebound. They go back to the ex b/c they want "the attention, companionship, emotional support ect" from someone after getting out of their relationship. The cycle of an on and off relationship continues until the person who breaks things off finds someone better. She found better, which is why she left him for good this time. She has been detached from the cheater since one of her last breaks,. The new guy isn't a rebound, he is the new guy.


If you go by what you're saying, then that means every new relationship is a rebound, but that's not true. It doesn't take everyone years to move on. I know people who were in decade long relationships with people, never married their partner, finally ended it and wound up being happily married to their new partner within a few months to a year.

Your first four sentences are contradictory of each other. If a rebound is what someone uses to get over their ex how can the ex be the rebound? The rebound is someone 'new', so it can't be the ex. If someone goes back to their ex or cheats on their new partner with their ex it's because they aren't over their ex and that new person was most likely a rebound at one point and time. The only way an ex can be a rebound is if the person really liked the person they were in a relationship with currently but the other person ended it. And as a result they go back to their ex for the attention, emotional support, attention etc. Then YES, the ex can be considered the rebound.

People do not have genuine feelings for their rebounds, because that's what they are.. rebounds. I can agree on people who are in on and off relationships continue to be on and off until they find someone else (not necessarily better). And maybe it's because you're young so you don't understand. But in between serious relationships people NEED time to themselves to heal, work on themselves, learn from past mistakes.

If they don't, they will end up in a relationship just like their previous one that didn't work out.

 

[tmonster]

 

[Giselle]

Your first four sentences are contradictory of each other. If a rebound is what someone uses to get over their ex how can the ex be the rebound? The rebound is someone 'new', so it can't be the ex. If someone goes back to their ex or cheats on their new partner with their ex it's because they aren't over their ex and that new person was most likely a rebound at one point and time. The only way an ex can be a rebound is if the person really liked the person they were in a relationship with currently but the other person ended it. And as a result they go back to their ex for the attention, emotional support, attention etc. Then YES, the ex can be considered the rebound.

People do not have genuine feelings for their rebounds, because that's what they are.. rebounds. I can agree on people who are in on and off relationships continue to be on and off until they find someone else (not necessarily better). And maybe it's because you're young so you don't understand. But in between serious relationships people NEED time to themselves to heal, work on themselves, learn from past mistakes.

If they don't, they will end up in a relationship just like their previous one that didn't work out.

Yes it can b/c that is what happens in on/off relationships. They use their ex to get over the pain that same ex caused them by getting back with them or get back with the ex to stop feeling those feelings that they were feeling b/c they left and were lonely, settling back into their old ways b/c they couldn't find better, therefore, the ex is the rebound.

The rest of what you said never happened in op's story. You are making things up, as usual.

We know that the op got dumped for cheating and that the girl moved on for good b/c she found better. All of the times she dumped him before and didn't go get anyone else, but now she does have someone else and left op for good b/c he's better than op, which is why he's not a rebound.

& no, a lot of people in long term relationships and on/off relationships don't always need years. Most people these days in those situations stop having feelings for eachother way before someone actually leaves.

Idc if you still don't get it, you can stop quoting me. Bye

Damn man.. this shyt sucks. Me & her were on & off for 3 years . Ima be real, i wasnt no saint. I cheated & the last time i cheated was a year ago but she had found out in april. So we broke up, fast foward july and we got back together last week then yesterday she text me out of the blue saying she cant be with me no more & that its somebody else.. i was so hurt i drove to her house it she made it clear it was over. Damn im hurt brehs..

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

As a believer in karma, shyt comes back breh

 

[SheWantTheD]

Yes it can b/c that is what happens in on/off relationships. They use their ex to get over the pain that same ex caused them by getting back with them or get back with the ex to stop feeling those feelings that they were feeling b/c they left and were lonely, settling back into their old ways b/c they couldn't find better, therefore, the ex is the rebound.

The rest of what you said never happened in op's story. You are making things up, as usual.

We know that the op got dumped for cheating and that the girl moved on for good b/c she found better. All of the times she dumped him before and didn't go get anyone else, but now she does have someone else and left op for good b/c he's better than op, which is why he's not a rebound.

& no, a lot of people in long term relationships and on/off relationships don't always need years. Most people these days in those situations stop having feelings for eachother way before someone actually leaves.

Idc if you still don't get it, you can stop quoting me. Bye

Your post doesn't make any sense lol. You can't get over someone by staying with them. You may get sick of them to the point where you are completely done with and want nothing to do with them, but there's still unresolved trauma and baggage. Like I've said MULTIPLE times, you CANNOT get over someone if you are still in a relationship with them. It does not work that way.

And we were discussing the issue of rebounds, getting over an ex etc. My points don't have to match the OP's narrative for my point to be a valid one. The discussion about the OP and the discussion about rebounds and exes in general don't have to go hand in hand.

Of course they don't need years, but no one gets over an ex in a matter of days. That's just not possible especially if it was a long term relationship and ones life revolved around their partner. Most people aren't adjusting to that new life in a matter of days lol. That's exactly why people jump from relationship to relationship, because they are too weak to deal with a life without their old/a partner. For the average person it takes months and sometimes years.

And you can always stop quoting me if you don't want me to quote you back

Make a thread and ask the people of theColi and the vast majority will agree with me.